Two weeks ago, a little dog, like the one in the picture, ran out of a house I've been to many times and went berserk and sort of nipped at me. I was pretty upset because it's taken me many years to be relaxed around dogs because I was always afraid of them because of childhood traumas and a lot of Meals on Wheels clients have dogs. I told My Sweetie and maybe Lo about it and I meant to call the MOW office but I forgot. And then last week nothing happened.
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The day started out bad enough. A woman in Dallas tossed her two sons off of an overpass onto a highway and then jumped. That's not the first news you want to hear in the morning. Your brain starts swirling with all the: Why would anyone do that? How could you do that to your children? What was she thinking? How can a mother ever cause harm to her kids? They all survived as of the last news I heard, but they are all in the hospital. And what about those poor people driving on the highway and see a kid come tumbling down? Sheeeesh. People are so freaking weird.
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After the news I was watching "The View" and getting a kick out of the womens' take on Governor Whorehound and then I was all excited because they were introducing my idol: Carol Burnett. Just as they introduced her, the network cut away to a special report and it was Governor Whorehound announcing his resignation. If I lived in New York, that would be important, but for crying out loud it was Carol Burnett!
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This house with the bad dog has a sign on the door: Do not ring bell. Baby sleeping. Well last week I was distracted because my daughter was with me and I rang the bell and as soon as I did I felt horrible and I apologized like crazy and the woman said, "Oh she's not even here." That made me feel better, but as I was driving over there today I kept repeating in my head, "Don't ring the doorbell, don't ring the doorbell." So I walk up to the door and before I can even knock, the door opens. I said, "I wasn't going to ring the bell." She responds, "I need to take that down, she's in daycare now." and then grabs the sign from the door. I start handing her all the stuff (there are two clients there) and then that same freaking dog runs out and goes berserk and attacks my right foot. I mean he is BITING me. I just sort of froze because it happened so fast. She finally reached down and smacked him and he ran back in the house and she's all "I'm so sorry, he's never done that. We'll lock him up next time." And me, because I'm so moronic when under pressure said, "That's not cool." That's not cool? Hey! 1974 called and they want their hippie back! WTF? That's not cool? Why would I say that? What am I, 14? Johnny Fever?
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It was 78 today and I knew it was going to be 78 and thought about wearing sandals, but I got lazy and didn't want to clip my toenails so I wore tennis shoes. I kept thinking, "What if I had worn sandals?" When I got to my bar I called MOW to report the incident and the nice lady said, "We haven't gotten complaints from anyone else." I wish I had said, "Well good for them." but what I said was, "Next Wednesday I will call them from my truck in their driveway and they can come out and get the food or tell me the dog is locked up." Urg.
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There was a TV show in the 80's where a guy found a watch that froze time. He would fix situations. I wish I had that watch. I would go to that bridge in Dallas this morning, grab those children from that deranged mom and hand her that dog. Now THAT is cool.