Where Did The Year Go?

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I'd like to share a ridiculous event with you all and hope you can picture it and find it as amusing as I did. Sunday afternoon, I'm on hold with Wal-Mart. I hear My Sweetie's cell phone ring and run to grab it hoping it is my sister-in-law calling to tell me she can take me to the airport on Saturday (it was and she is). So I'm holding the house phone to my left ear listening to hideous country music courtesy of Wal-Mart, and holding a cell phone to my right ear talking to my SIL when My Sweetie walks up holding out MY cell phone and says, "It's your Mom." I would LOVE to have seen the expression on my face.

I hope everyone of you has a great 2008. And I guess I'll find out as the year unfolds because I will be reading all about it on your blogs. So keep blogging, and have a peaceful and prosperous new year!

Bad Weather News and Whatnot

The longe range weather forecast for my San Diego trip does not look so good. I arrive at 2:10 next Saturday and we only have Sunday as the one full day and we leave Monday afternoon. I guess no sunny warm San Diego for me. And the weather isn't that different from Texas weather. It may end up being warmer here. The good news is we are staying at the Marriott Hotel and Marina and there is all sorts of stuff to do there. And we can always take a cab someplace if we want to move about. I'll still be able to see the marina and the bay if it's not raining too hard. Well the trip is free so I'm not going to complain about anything. I hope San Diego is like Texas in that long range weather forecasts are meaningless, because here weather is always subject to change.

~

Tomorrow I'm taking my new jeans to the tailor to have them hemmed for the trip and to Target to burn through a gift card we got for Christmas. On Sunday I'm going to decorate for New Year's Eve. I bought a bunch of goofy hanging things from The Party Store. Monday night we will do our usual thing of having fun finger foods (as if we were at an actual party) and drinking good champagne. We also bought a whole large bottle of poppers so we will make a giant mess while scaring the cats. I injured myself last year with those things so I'm going to wear gloves this year.

~

Oh and Wednesday night we went to see I Am Legend at The Movie Tavern and it was really good. My Sweetie said it was truer to the book than the Charlton Heston version. And it's only an hour long so I was able to make it through the whole movie. That was a first! Or maybe it was because I had wine instead of beer?

More Fun with Photoshop

And now for something not holiday related, but still fun and also stress-free:

I'm going to name this: Pulling Barney out of the Vortex

Merry Christmas 2007

Merry Christmas to all of you! Thanks for your

kind and supportive and funny comments.

I've sure enjoyed you all and your blogs.

I hope all of your Christmas wishes come true!

I almost forgot to add THIS!

Not too tired to remember

As tired as I am from the annual family Christmas party we hosted,
I did not forget about THIS.

The Trip is a GO!

I got my itinerary today for my San Diego trip. I was a bit worried there for a while thinking it wasn't going to happen this year, but it is on! I get there at 2:10 Saturday afternoon on the 5th and we leave at 5:55 (p.m. of course) on the 7th. And I found something for us to do. We weren't going to do anything particular this trip, but there is a Duke game at 2:30 California time that Sunday, so we plan to find a great sports bar to watch the game that afternoon. That should be a memorable Duke game. I've never watched Duke play while in San Diego. I'm glad we're not playing UCLA! We'll be playing Cornell, which is in New York, so hopefully we won't end up exchanging fisticuffs with the other patrons. So now I have my plane tickets and a simple plan for something special to do. Yay! 15 days until San Diego.

Jake

Jake

February 1989 - December 2007

You will be missed.

Christmas 1975

Granny, my brother and me

I'll always remember the Christmas of 1975. We lived in Durham, North Carolina. My brother graduated from high school that spring and decided to enlist in the Air Force. It was so strange when he left that September. My Dad told me years later that after he dropped my brother at the airport, the song, "When will I see you again" came on the radio and he cried the whole way home. Now I always cry when I hear that song, because I picture my Dad crying to it. We were all very excited to have him back for Christmas. Of course, things never quite work out how you imagine. After all those months in military training, he had one goal in mind - reconnecting with his old girlfriend. I don't remember any drama, but after my Dad died, I found a letter from my brother regarding the Christmas visit and apparently my parents were quite miffed (hurt?) that he was far more interested in scoring than having "family time." I, myself, was quite wrapped up with my boyfriend at the time. It was ninth grade and we spent a lot of time together. He even gave me his old bowling ball so I could bowl in a league with him on Saturday mornings. I still bowl with that ball, although I have had it re-drilled for my adult fingers. If you look very closely you can find his initials on that ball.
~
That Christmas eve, everyone had their own plans. My parents had a party, my brother had his date and I was going to spend the evening with my boyfriend and his parents as they "relative hopped." I'll never forget how surprised I was that there was a little gift for me at every house! I had never met these people! But that was the way of The Old South. I think I got a wallet, a scarf, some gloves and a little bracelet. The big gift, of course, was from my boyfriend. He gave me a gold signet ring with a monogram of my last name initial. For some reason that always bothered me. I wanted my first name initial on the ring. But I was just thrilled that a boy gave me A RING! I kept that ring for years. I had a good time visiting all of his people and there was great food and snacks everywhere. We kept a rather late night, and I remember being a little nervous on the ride home thinking my parents might be mad. I think I got home around 11:30. And I was only 14.
~
I unlocked the door, and walked in - AND NO ONE WAS THERE! We lived in a townhouse apartment where you parked in back and I was dropped off at the front door, so I was very surprised that I was the first one home. I put on a Christmas album and sat by the tree. About a half hour later, my brother showed up. Like me, he couldn't believe we had beat our parents home. We looked at the tree together reminiscing about Christmases past. We talked about our evenings, he talked about his military friends, we even did that whole thing where you lie on your back with your head under the tree and look up at the lights. Finally, around 1:00 a.m. our parents showed up. We all chatted again about our nights, I showed off my gifts and then we went to bed. I called my boyfriend and we talked on the phone until about 5:00.
~
On Christmas morning, my Dad drove to Goldsboro to pick up his Mom (My Granny that I adored). I don't remember a lot about that day because I didn't get much sleep, but I look pretty happy in the picture. What I really remember is that night, Christmas eve, and thinking how everything was different now. My brother and I were growing up and I knew Christmas would never be the same again. And I was right. My parents separated that next spring, so we never had another family Christmas. That was our last family Christmas. The Christmas of 1975.

Christmassy Night Out

We went to Grapevine Mills mall tonight and had quite a long walk. But it was all good, because Grapevine Mills has bars. Malls with bars are right up there on my list of what is all right with the world.

That rubber Santa was frickin creepy. It was singing and dancing and when I pulled out my camera, it stopped singing and dancing and said something to me. I snapped the picture and ran away. I hope I don't have nightmares about it tonight.

These paintings were in a store called "Home Decor." Yeah, what kind of home is that? Who would have an oil painting of Scarface saying "Say hello to my little friend?" Weird. And the one on the top left is a combination of The Godfather and "The Sopranos." That's wrong all over the place.

My Sweetie cut off the horse that I was imitating, so you can't see the perfect imitation I was doing of the prancing pony.

I don't even know what sort of store this Gollum was in the window of because I had just had a beer and a Colorado Bulldog. But the hat on it is quite amusing!

And then I saw this carousel, but My Sweetie was all into finding the nearest exit so we could go eat. After dinner at Mac's we drove around in fancy neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights. We saw some fun ones. Then we came home and watched my very favorite movie: Meet Me in St. Louis. It was a fun evening.

I Am An Official Old Lady

I always said I'd never be one of those old ladies that buys a little tree that you put on a table. Guess what? Yep. I bought one of those little trees you put on a table. What happened was, I just wasn't getting into the whole rearranging of furniture to put up a tree that I would have to keep watering and sweeping up needles from. Oops, I ended a sentence with a preposition. I meant: sweeping up needles from hell that never stop. I got a great deal - $18 for the floor sample. I thought I'd take off the white lights and put on my big glowy bulbs. Well, then what happened was, those white lights are attached to the tree by someone that never ever wants you to take them off. So I had to just deal with leaving them there and adding a string of my big glowy bulbs. And since it's so small I decided to just put our "Peanuts" ornaments, but I did sneak in 4 sentimental ornaments. And believe me, that's only about one fifth of the Snoopy ornaments. And I found a place to put all those surprise bears that came with "a purchase of three cards." I had no idea. The girl at the register was so excited and runs away and comes back with this armload of bears. I was all "What the hay am I gonna do with all those bears?" I decided to put them by the tree. (The set in back hides the cord.) It doesn't mean we will do this forever. If we feel like getting the big tree again, we will. But I'm an old lady now and I can have my little tree on the table.

I also delved into the Christmas card stuff. When I sit down to do my Christmas cards I am so happy that I don't have a lot of friends. I also made my annual goofy picture to go in with the card. My husband is on the left in the picture, but I had to cut him out for my blog. (His rules, not mine.) I found a picture of Santa holding two little kids and I put our heads on their bodies. It's a lot funnier if you could see the whole picture. Ask Josie if you don't believe me.

~

I also unpacked all the stuff I'm going to use for decoration so we can put the boxes back in the garage. I'm starting to get in the mood a little bit. Okay, well I was, and this horrible Christmas song just came on the radio that makes me want to do destructive things. Must change music. Okay. All is well. I put on my "Christmas with the Platters" CD, which always makes me happy.

~

In other news: I got my hair done yesterday, and it's kinda funky. It reminds me of Julia Roberts' wig in Hook or Sleeping With the Enemy, like it just doesn't fit my head quite right. And when I was ranting about yesterday, yesterday I forgot to write a letter to the cat that attacked me. Stupid cat!

What really caught my attention today was this headline:
Japanese Scientists Develop Fearless Mice
I, for one, would like to say that I believe this is truly one thing that we do not need.

Ranting, Jazz Style

I decided to steal borrow from Jazz and do this post as "correspondence."
~
Dear Church Secretary Lady,
When Meals on Wheels calls you with a late cancellation please date your post-it note and put it where it will be found so that it is not accidentally found on the floor for me to wonder if it was from earlier this week or meant for me.
~
Dear Union Pacific Railroad,
If you insist on running your trains through North Fort Worth during my MOW delivery time, could you at least use shorter trains? P.S. How do you get the trucks out of those train cars?
~
Dear Postmaster General,
PLEASE explain to me why you would allow there to be ONE, ONE, yes, ONE employee working a counter with 5, FIVE, windows on DECEMBER 12th?!? Why? Why? I've been there in June and there were three windows open. WHY WHY WHY would there be only one window open on DECEMBER 12th?!!!? P.S. I hate you.
~
Dear God,
I don't mind rain, but why does it always seem to pick up just as I need to get out of the car? P.S. If you are reading this, I hope I won the lottery tonight.
-------Sincerely, Geewits

Good Ole Holiday Spirit

So here it is, just two weeks until Christmas, and my Christmas Spirit? As Yukon Cornelious (pictured above) would say, "Nothin!" Every time I think of a good spot for a Christmas tree, and this is always in the middle of the night after many beers, the next day I look there and think, "No, that would be stupid." My husband called from the grocery store Monday night and said, "Can you think of anything else I should get?" I said, "Yeah, grab a bottle of Christmas Spirit." He said, "Yeah, no kidding." I said, "Yeah, make it TWO." (We always start our sentences with "yeah.")

~

I was thinking about all of this Sunday night or Monday or whenever and came up with a great idea. I can get a large pumpkin, carve four-leaf clovers and hearts on it, fill it with colored eggs, stick little American flags on top and mount it on a post with colored lights and a big red bow. That should take care of EVERYTHING!!!

My Juvenile Humor

I bought these letter stamps at Michael's last week and the French name really cracks me up. What am I? 12?

~

I'm still in my Christmas slump. My tally for the entire weekend was the aforementioned candy cane on the wall outside, plus Christmas placemats for the coffee table (that's where we eat), and a Christmas box of Kleenex for the coffee table. Kleenex has some really good Christmas designs. I think that Kleenex box may just be the thing to get me going. This post brought to you by Kleenex brand facial tissue. Hah Ha, just kidding. I actually brought some Christmas stuff in from the garage, but it's just sitting there ignored in the library. Oh and we bought an outdoor extension cord for the toxic candy canes, so if it stops raining, I can set that little noxious display up. And the weather. Oh, the weather. The weather that was 80 degrees on Friday? It's 34 degrees now. Presto change-o! At least it feels more like Christmas.

~

I think I've finally decided on a spot for the tree. It's sort of in a walkway. Okay, it's RIGHT IN a walkway, but we can walk around it, right? The best part is the view from where I sit. It's RIGHT THERE. Plus we need to keep an eye on it with the new cat. And the old cat. The old cat likes to chew on it. And then throw up the needles. Not very Christmas spirity, I'd say. Maybe tomorrow I will start putting some of my little Santa's out. And candles and things. Maybe I should start looking at Christmas recipes. But no tampons en mousse. That doesn't sound right at all.

Christmastime is Here Hot

The weather is the weather whether we like it or not. I was going to do some Christmas decorating today but it was 80 degrees and it just didn't feel very Christmasy. I took this picture of my cool new grill cover today to send to my friend and realized that it was a good example of how unDecemberish it is here. Except for that hint of pink on my nandina (to the left of the grill) you would never know this picture was taken in December. I was discussing the weather with someone on Wednesday, because Texans LOVE to discuss the weather, and I said, "If I had just come out of a coma today and was asked to guess the date, I would have said October 15th."

~

Although I've been listening to Christmas music, bought a few gifts, cards and stamps, I haven't really reached my "Christmas Place." It bothers me that this house is not Christmas tree friendly. I've narrowed it down to three spots and think I'll just roll a die to pick a spot. We had planned to get our tree this weekend, so I need to make a decision. I did put my old candy cane thing on my house, but that's as far as I got. I was going to put my new poisonous candy canes out but I realized we have only one outdoor extension cord and My Sweetie will need that for leaf sucking and blowing. I guess we will buy a new extension cord this weekend - I didn't handle all that lead for nothing!

~

Christmastime always makes me think of old friends. I make a lot of phone calls and have a fun time with my yearly "catching up." Maybe I'll do a few of my Favorite Christmas Memories posts this month. Or not. It's hard to go there when it's 80 degrees.

Dumber By The Minute

You guys may think I am exaggerating when I post about all the stupid stuff I do, but I am not. I posted back in January about my printer problem with black ink -how I had no black ink.. After that, everything I printed had to be blue, red, purple or green. I started messing around with it again, ELEVEN MONTHS LATER, and got this message:

"...the protective tape may still be on the print cartridges." Guess what? It was! Maybe there is an explanation - not counting all the beer, of course. (What sort of fool counts their beer?) Today I was at Garden Ridge looking at Christmas stuff. My yard decor theme is candy canes. I found this nifty set of candy canes with lights on a clearance shelf. There was no tag or UPC code. No box, nothing. I finally found an employee and told them I needed some help. No way was I going to stand in line without a price. I stood there holding my candy canes and zoned out for about 7 minutes until the guy showed up with a flattened box. I went to get in line, still holding the candy canes, and happened to look at the box:

Not a Day Tripper

I get an e-mail from My Sweetie today that says:

What’s the name of the hotel where you want to stay this January?

I send him the link:

http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/sandt-san-diego-marriott-hotel-and-marina/

Then I get THIS:

What time would you like to leave on Saturday? And what time should we come back Sunday?

And I'm all "WHAAAAA?!!??" Leave on Saturday and come back Sunday? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not going to spend an entire day on traveling for a nice dinner in San Diego. I love San Diego, but not THAT much. The last two times I went on Friday. As long as I have one full day, I'm fine, but I'm not going to fly two days in a row just to spend less than 24 hours in San Diego. So now he's going to re-check everything and try to take Monday off so I can have my full day. Yeah, because, otherwise, no.

A First and a Seventh

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. I've never been married seven years to anyone before, so this is a first for me. I reached a sixth anniversary once, back in 1994 and I don't remember anything about it, which probably explains why it was the last one. After being divorced twice, I guess I was cynical and thought marriage was something you do for awhile. I'm glad I was wrong about that. I actually found the person that I will be with until I die, and I think it's a good thing. A very good thing.

Go Elf Yourself!

(Click here to watch us dance!)

Office Max has this really fun thing for you to put your picture on and be a dancing elf. I discovered it through Jeanette (Thanks!) and I get a really big kick out of it. You can call in and sing along and your mouth will move, but I can't sing, so I didn't do that (That's something Scarlet should do). That's my best friend Lolo an the left followed by Josie, myself and Jazz. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and have a goof good laugh!

Happy Friday!!

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Man did I wake up on the stupid side of the bed today! Part of it was I stayed up too late. I knew I was going to be a bit off, but gee wits! I got to the church on time to pick up the food, but they had changed our routes again. Everyone was talking about it. I got some guys back I used to have more than a year ago, and of course they left Myriam on my route (I had to complain when they took her off last year). They actually added a route so we all had fewer people. But I had different people. I stack the meals in two stacks in the ice chest in the order that I need to take them out, so I was trying to wrap my fuzzy brain around the new route. I was the last person packing up. These two guys kept coming back into the church - and I had never seen them. Finally I asked, "Do you need something?" This young chap says, "I work for Meals on Wheels and I want to make sure there is no food left here." I just stopped what I was doing and looked at him like he had 4 breasts and said, "I've been doing this for seven years. I would never leave food here." What a freaktard! Oh okay, back to being stupid.

The lady who is way out of the way and on the other side of a 20 mph school zone is now my first stop. Then I went to Myriam's. As soon as I got there I realized I had forgotten to give the first lady her breakfast (for the next day). I gave Myriam her breakfast and called the first lady to tell her I would run it by after my route, but she didn't answer. I decided to call again later. So I deliver to 5 more people, (that's 7 now of a total of 10) when I realize that I didn't give anyone after Myriam their breakfasts! How stupid is that?!? After realizing I had forgotten the first lady's breakfast, I then went on to also forget the next 5 breakfasts! I was in awe of my own stupidity! It was so big and bright, this stupidity. I was at person #8's house when I realized this. I gave her all her stuff, drove around the corner and gave #9 her stuff and then proceeded to backtrack. My first stop is a guy I've never had. My first day with this guy and here I was knocking on the door 10 minutes later, saying sheepishly, "Uhm, oops, I woke up on the stupid side of the bed today and I forgot your breakfast!" Then I go back to Richard's house. He came outside and said, "I was wondering why we didn't get breakfast today." HE remembered and he was on morphine! So now it's getting late, I call the first lady and her daughter answered and told me to forget about it and give it away. Whew! I called #10 guy to tell them I was "running slow" and I would be there as soon as I could. When I hung up the phone I was all, "Running slow? What the hell is that? Is that even an expression? What am I? A cheap watch?" Does anyone say, "I'm running slow today?" Ha - maybe I was referring to my brain. That makes a lot more sense.

Fortunately, after my route ended I didn't do anything stupid. I actually did a little fun shopping. I was relieved when I got home because I kept expecting the big stupid to come back but it never did. I guess.

Glad I Checked My Facts

Well I was all fired up to post about Oprah Winfrey doing something crazy when, in fact, it was a case of mistaken identity.

Her show today was about the movie The Great Debaters. Denzel Washington directs and stars in it and it was produced by Oprah. I saw a clip and the part of some sort of sheriff was being played by the guy on the right, Eric Kelly McFarland. I thought I was looking at the guy on the left, John Heard. John Heard has a bad history when it comes to how he treats women. So all I could think was WHY would Oprah put this guy on a payroll with her name at the top? Well she didn't and now I have nothing to post about. But I am glad it wasn't John Heard.