R.S.V.P.

I decided R.S.V.P. stands for Really Slow Vexing Process. I have a tiny handful of my daughter's wedding R.S.V.P.s, but they trickle in so slowly. I get one almost every day. I've never gotten two in one day. The reason I am getting them is because my daughter doesn't check her mail. She's all 21st century and does all her stuff online. (She told me that the postman came to her door once with a giant pile of junk mail and told her she needs to start checking her mail. And when my mother called me and told me that my daughter had not acknowledged her college graduation gift, I had to call my daughter and say, "You need to check your mail.") She also doesn't have a landline, only a cell phone. Thoroughly modern Millie, she is.
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So every day I check the mail and look for that little grey card. To make things easy for us, I had my daughter write the person's name on the back flap of the envelope, just in case they did not include a return address, because the R.S.V.P. card is just a simple yes or no type deal. Smartest idea I ever had because so far only one person has included a return address. And here's the funny part. It was my daughter's dad and stepmom.
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Speaking of ex-husbands: Today I got the R.S.V.P. card from my second husband. I haven't seen him since 1996 or 1997. I could probably write a book about him. He was a brilliant engineer with some patents and now his official job title is something like "house man" at some zen yoga retreat in New Mexico or Arizona. Basically I think he always wanted to be on a different "team" but could never quite come right "out" and say it and as long as his mother is alive, he is having to pretend and try to find peace. That's my best guess anyway. I'm actually looking forward to seeing him. He's a sweet delicate flower sort of person as compared to my first husband (daughter's dad) who is more like a bull in a China shop type of person. He looks like Tom Berenger. The second husband was more of a James Taylor - and even plays guitar.
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I'm really looking forward to all the awkward weirdness and meetings. My two best friends have never met, and neither of them have met my exes. One old friend who will probably not show up, has actually met all of these people except my new friend. And of course my brother and mother know my exes, but haven't seen them in ages. I haven't even seen my daughter's dad since 2002. I think it will be sort of like a Salvador Dali/Escher reunion with a bunch of my daughter's weird friends and her groom's family as extras. Well from my perspective I mean. Which is the only one I have.