So Sunday night I had dinner with my daughter and she told me she and The Boy were discussing marriage. I didn't quite know how to react so I reacted in a business-like manner and told her to figure out what type of wedding she wants and to figure out a budget and start saving for it. It was hard to take it as seriously as I should because she also discussed moving to Alaska if the Republicans win because of the oil boom they promised at their convention. She and The Boy had "done their research" and their company would transfer them there and they would each make $8,000 more a year. Unfortunately I had to burst her balloon by bringing up the fun little fact called "cost-of-living," and while $8,000 is NOT twice what she currently makes, the COL in Alaska is about double that of Texas. Apparently their research did not go that far.~
And then there was the THREE wedding thing. They want to have a traditional churchlike ceremony for all family, friends and co-workers, and then a pagan handfasting ceremony for her pagan group and a Gathering ceremony for his "special friends" there. Uhm, okay.
~
Monday evening The Boy stopped by the house to bring me a case of beer and we sat and talked for a little over an hour about all this. It was sad to watch his face drop as I realized that my daughter had not already discussed the Alaskan cost-of-living thing with him. He was man enough to admit that he had not considered that aspect at all. And I don't know if they expected their parents to pay for their wedding but I told my daughter Sunday night that parents do not pay for the weddings of adults living together. Nobody paid for any of my weddings. But I did say I would do the invitations.
~
The Boy said his mother had been a wedding planner for 15 years, so I told him she should be able to give him some idea of how much money they need to save. He didn't look like he had even thought of, you know, actually having to save money for this big plan. I imagine they are both looking at this whole thing in a new light now. I hope so.
15 comments:
Ahhh the romance of youth! Practicality be damned. It's sort of cute actually.
Yep, what Jazz said. It is cute, until you have to deal with it, then it stops being so cute lol
But a pagan ceremony? mmm... that would make my friend Aestus very happy :)
Wow! A wedding is hard enough to plan and put together, much less a wedding WITH a pagan handfasting ceremony AND a gathering! Does that mean they'll have to remember 3 sets of vows? Oi!
Both of my kids have gotten married in the past 4 years, so I've got some ideas if you need any help.
Great art, by the way. And don't kids say the darndest things? Ha ha ha. Here I was thinking that things would get normal once the teenage years were over. (on the other hand, you gotta love a guy that shows up bearing cases of beer)
Jazz,
~~Ha ha - everything's cuter from a distance.
Urban,
~~Is his favorite part that it's for only a year?
Carole,
~~Who knows about the vows. I imagine I will not have to think about this again for quite some time.
Xup,
~~Thanks! I made that in photoshop from a little picture of a cake topper I found on the internet. The teenage years just keep going it seems. Maybe when she's 30.....
I'll go with Jazz... babes in the woods. I have a colleague who is planning her marriage. it'll cost a fortune. I told her that she should go to the Palais de Justice to get married. Quick, simple and inexpensive. I even told her that I'd sign the register as a witness for free. With the money they'd save they could spend the summer in Europe as a honeymoon. ;o)
Big Brother,
~~After my BB's first wedding - with all the frills - they hardly had a dime between them. My Dad and step-mom were there for the wedding and wanted to go to Universal Studios and took the newlyweds with them. For years my brother said he wished they had had a simple civil service and spent all that money on a great honeymoon.
Jazz,
~~Ha ha - everything's cuter from a distance.
Indeed. And this would be reason 879 why I never had kids...
Urban,
~~Is his favorite part that it's for only a year?
Well, Aestus is a priest in the Pagan community so I'm sure they did something like that when he and Thomas got married. Coming to 5 yrs now and still going strong :)
Sounds like you gave them quite a wake-up call...better now than later when they're in debt. I say go for the simple wedding (one is enough) and SAVE $!
That will be my advice to my daughter if/when I'm asked (WAY down the road!).
So they want to get married three times and move to a more expensive place. Huh. Sounds like they have a bit of an accounting problem.
Oy.
Jazz,
~~You are wise beyond your years.
Urban,
~~My daughter said a handfasting is a commitment for a year and then you keep doing them every year.
Scarlet,
~~I doubt the non-traditional ceremonies they want to do at other dates will be costly. The Boy goes to The Gathering every year anyway. And the pagan one is probably about standing under the correct moon or something with your circle or whatever they are.
Jammie,
~~You got that right.
I checked with Aestus and he said that the one year + 1 day ceremony is like an engagement period where you're supposed to live together. At the end of that, you're "supposed" to get married, which is another ceremony altogether. They did both although he said it was a bit longer than a year between the 2 ceremonies.
It doesn't sound like you are too thrilled with the prospect of this marriage. If you have written about it before, I don't remember. That is very interesting about Adult Children Living together and the Parents don't pay for the Wedding. I had not heard that before, and I used to marry people....(I can legally do that here in California...) And in all the almost 40 Weddings I have done that was not something that was ever discussed....
I think it is quite nazing they want three weddings! I've heard of two, but three? WOW! They better save quite a lot of money....lol!
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