I heard something the other day, and it may have been on "Dr. Phil", and I so wish I could remember the exact words, but it went something like this: A question is just an accusation you didn't have the nerve to make. I'm pretty sure that is not the exact quote because if I remembered the exact quote I would probably remember that I was remembering the exact quote. I DO remember that it struck a nerve with me because I am the questioning type of person. But sometimes can't a question just be a question (I mean if cigars can just be cigars, why not questions)?
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So here's the thing. My husband for some reason has stored a pile of shorts on the dryer. I haven't said anything because I don't want it to sound like an accusation. I mean I can see that if the question went like this: So you thought the top of the dryer would be a good place to store your shorts? then it would pretty much sound like an accusation. But can't I just ask, "Why are all of your shorts on the dryer?" without it sounding like an accusation?
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Don't get me wrong. I love Dr. Phil. I think most of what he says is dead on. I have some favorite "Philisms." One of them is "If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy." This is so true, but like every other piece of advice in the universe, it's not perfect. Sometimes "Mama" is an immature selfish bitch that needs to get her act together. And my personal favorite: You teach people how to treat you, is really a peachy slice of wisdom. On the other hand, there's that certain percentage that has to be included, the percentage that this does not apply to. If the person you are trying to "teach how to treat you" is a sociopath or psychopath, well, then you're just screwed.
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My husband is not a sociopath or a psychopath and he is very sweet, but I wonder why he is storing his shorts on top of the dryer. I suppose I should just ask him.
12 comments:
First of all, are those shorts dirty or clean? If they're dirty ... I think you have an answer. If they're clean ... I think you have an answer. A) He's waiting for someone to wash them, or B) He's waiting for someone to put them in the dresser, one place above the sock drawer.
JR,
~~It can't be A because he does his own laundry and they are folded and it can't be B because he does his own laundry so I have no idea where he keeps his clothes. However I do believe he keeps his socks in the top drawer so does that mean he wants them on top of his dresser?
Hmmm, yeah, that is a puzzle.
Now I want to know why he stores his shorts on the dryer. Maybe he just doesn't feel like putting them away. Does he now get dressed near the dryer?
I like Dr. Phil, but I feel that the quality of his shows has declined, which kind of bums me out. But I caught about five minutes of one of his shows the other day and he admonished a lady to just tell how she was feeling about something instead of hedging with questions. Something to do with her ex taking the kids to the dentist, she asked why he took the kids to the dentist when really she should have told him that she didn't want him to because it messed up their schedule or something. I don't know, it was a good point though. He said it sounded like she was information gathering, like building a case.
I guess it struck me because I do that sometimes, hedge my questions instead of just saying what I want.
J,
~~That was the one I watched! I usually watch Ellen but it was a rerun. I think Dr. Phil is wise but he said everything he needed to say in one season. His shows now are just the same ol', same ol'. Oprah is the same way. It's usually either Dr. Oz, Suze Orman or a fashion show. I only watch her now for celebrity interviews so that's only two or three times a month.
Geewits, what a great philosophical ...um, question. :-) I guess depending on the interpretation, a question can sometimes feel like an accusation, if the question requires an explanation. The English language is very interesting that way. No matter how you ask your husband why he stored his short on the dryer, it may put him on the defensive. I think that's why a lot of people just let things "slide" because asking the question is sometimes more difficult. BTW, it will be interesting to hear his answer, once you ask him. Heh.
I am leaving the shorts on the dryer 'cause that's where I thought they go! :)
- Her Sweetie
"So you thought the top of the dryer would be a good place to store your shorts?"...that would be how I'd put it and we'd both get a laugh out of it and he'd get the message. People are so different, it's tough to generalize and say this will ALWAYS work or this will NEVER work. My hubby and I are so opposite of the norm when it comes to lots of things (as if you haven't guessed this already!)
After many years together, we learn what works and doesn't with us and we kinda stick to it. So far so good.
Shorts go on the dryer. Interesting!
Not my first choice, but there you have it. And another Philism (and even before him) different strokes....
Okay, the mystery is solved and a solution has been made. I asked him if the anonymous post was his and he said yes, so I said, "Why are your shorts on the dryer?" He said, "I don't know." I looked in his closet and noticed he had TWO empty shelves. I grabbed the shorts from the dryer and put them in there. I hope they do not turn up on the dryer again. I wish I had two empty shelves in MY closet.
Oh, you could ask him, but that would take all the mystery out of it. You could try leaving your undies next to his, say nothing, and see if he responds. That could be fun.
Why waste the energy. Anyhow he knows you well enough to know that sooner or later it would bug you enough that you'd put them away for him... a winning strategy wouldn't you say. ;o)
Sorry to disagree with you about Dr. Phil...but I cannot bear him! It isn't his fault. Well, it is and it isn't. I have a hard time taking someone seriously who is on TV five days a week espousing "help" to people...This is just not real, to me. And I find him terribly arragont. He has made a FORTUNE exploiting people's pain...There have been others before him and there will be others after him....It is the "genre" that I find kind of dispicible....So, I cannot get past that part of the whole Dr. Phil's Famous Snake Oil Pap, from the get go.....Sorry about that, my dear...
And Personally, I think a question can be just a question...Period, End Of Story. Do ask your husband about his shorts because I want to know the answer, too! (lol)
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