I have a nephew that I'll call "Timmy." Timmy is Timothy the fourth as in "Timothy Middle Last IV." His name started with my grandfather Tim Sr., then Dad - Tim Jr. and my brother Tim III. The women in our family, meaning Mom, SIL, and myself decided to break the chain and call him Timmy instead of Tim.~
Timmy was born and raised in North Carolina and I have lived in Texas his entire life but we have always had a special bond. We sometimes would not see each other for up to two years but there was always an instant connection. He came to Texas by himself when he was 13 to spend a week with us and we had a blast. He'll be 21 in October. He's really a great guy. He works and is going to college to be an architect and I bet he'll be a great one.
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Even though I've been back to North Carolina since the beach trip of 2008, that was the last time I saw Timmy. I called him on Tuesday to tell him that Kate and I were taking a road trip to visit Mom at the mountain place. He said he would be in Delaware that week staying with a friend on the beach but they (he and his girlfriend) would be driving back on that Saturday and he would make a detour to see us in the mountains.
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This led to light chit chat about how we will all be road weary and then as conversations tend to do, we moved into talking about driving. I told him that Kate, my daughter was probably the best driver I knew. He said that he was a very good driver also. I said, "Well of course. I taught Kate, and your dad taught you, and we both learned from Dad who used to be a truck driver." Well Timmy had no idea. He was all "He drove a truck?" I was surprised that he didn't know and told him that Papa (my granddad and his namesake) owned a trucking company in the 50's. He also did not know about that. I told him that I had a picture somewhere of his great granddad standing next to a truck with his name on the door - Timmy's name also - and that I would bring a copy to him.
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He seemed really fascinated by this information and I was fascinated myself that he did not know any of this. I think it's sad that so much family history gets lost. I've been working up to a post about all of my unknown family, but this was what I thought of as common family information and yet, he did not know. When we are all together in the mountains in a few weeks, I will certainly get Mom to tell Timmy everything she can remember about his great granddad. It just seems like something he should know.
10 comments:
I think what happens is that when kids are young the parents are all eager to tell them lots of stories about the ancestors and of course, the kids don't care at that point and/or forget the stories. Then when they're older the parents don't think that maybe the kid would be interested now and/or don't realize they've forgotten everything you've told them. That's what happened with me anyway. I've been rooting around, nagging aunts and uncles for photos and information for years and then every once in a while my mum will say "I told you about that ages ago" or "I have that photo already".
I bet your family is full of very confident drivers, too. Lucky.
I know very little about my family too. I guess I should work on that.
That's cool how you were able to bring this information to him...and it all started with your talk about driving!
You and I have one more thing in common...we want to document our family history. I'm glad you're sharing it with Timmy (who wants to know) because my kids aren't at all interested in Cuba or how we got here. Maybe one day they'll care.
You gave Timmy a secret treasure from your trove. I'd love to see that picture of your "Papa" next to that truck too!
That's great that Timmy is making a detour to see you in the mountains. I know you'll have a special time together.
Xup,
~~I believe most of that is true, but Mom's take is that my brother, being a guy and all, just never talks about stuff like that.
Ticknart,
~~Yeah, it's a shame Dad couldn't have taught everyone in the country how to drive.
Jazz,
~~You better hurry. At our age you start running out of people to ask.
Scarlet,
~~Like Xup said, it's probably an age thing. When your daughter is in her 20's she will probably be very interested.
Carole,
~~Yes, I was tickled when he said they would do that. I hope his girlfriend doesn't talk him out of it.
Oh I so agree....This is his Heritage and it is also very very interesting! Maybe you should get your Mom to tape all her memories of her parents and then someone can transcribe them. It might be fun for her to do that....who knows, maybe lots of things will come to the surfave that none of you know!
I am often amazed that my brother doesn't seem to know some of the families stories that I know, especially as he is older. I figured he'd have heard them twice as often, but maybe he just had to tune them out more often.
Oh, and you, too, should continue to draw--quite deliberately--upon your memories and hand them over to Timmy. What a gift you can give this young man that you seem to appreciate so deeply.
Naomi,
~~That sounds nice but Mom does not like to talk about her childhood. They were very poor and had to pick cotton and tobacco and she never got to wear pretty dresses, just overalls. She'd rather forget all about it.
VioletSky,
~~I just think that men are not wired that way.
Jocelyn,
~~I'll be sure to at least tell him Dad's two best army stories.
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