Thursday, April 02, 2009

An April Fool (Or: Not Like Other People)

(In honor of April Fool's Day, I thought I'd do a random listing of some of my foolish things.)
I think it's appropriate that I was born in April. It's one thing to share a birthday with Hitler, but it's also the 3 numbers that represent weed (hooch, marijuana, pot, gonja) which I no longer smoke. And if you ask people my age why they stopped smoking pot they usually have all sorts of good reasons, like they grew out of it or because it's illegal and they are responsible adults now or something like that. I stopped smoking pot because I thought it made my eyes look weird. I never got the red eye which made all my high school friends jealous, but I just got weird looking eyes which bothered me in some inane vain way.
~
My Sweetie has a really cute way of pronouncing foolish. He'll say "That's just foolish." and he pronounces the "oo" part like if you were saying "futon." I don't know why that's so funny to me.
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After seeing so many comics about how cats and dogs just hear their name when you speak to them as in "Blah,blah,blah,blah blah Barney,blah blah blah." Now when I talk to Barney I actually say that. It saves me from having to actually say anything and I reckon he likes it just as much. Sometimes I just say "Barney" over and over. He likes that too.
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I love to type what I'm thinking, but I absolutely hate to type anything else. Sometimes Mom calls and wants me to e-mail her an old recipe out of one of my books and rather than just type it, I'll spend an hour looking for it on the internet so I can just C&P. I'm the same with looking anything up. I'll come up with the least amount of letters I can type. For instance, if I want to look up a guest star on an episode of Star Trek: Voyager, I'll go to IMDB and type in "Tim Russ", because it's only 7 letters. Then I just scroll and click around until I get there. I do that with everything on IMDB. It's my bizarre version of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon." Which I was doing before anyone came up with it.
~
Before most people were even on the internet I had some sort of CD called Corel Movies or something like that and it was a lot like IMDB. My Sweetie would be playing a video game on his computer next to me and I'd ask him to give me 2 unrelated actors and see how few steps I could go to get from one to another. Okay, I just found it and it was called "Corel All Movie Guide" and I'd bet you dollars to donuts that was the basic program that IMDB used to get started.
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(What the hell does "dollars to donuts" mean?)
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If I drop any food that I am rinsing into the sink, be it a pea, a potato or a pork chop (or even something that begins with another letter of the alphabet) I throw it away.
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I can only go so long after eating before I have to floss or I become physically agitated.
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If I cook something and someone salts it before trying it or even after trying it, I can't really like them anymore.
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My birthday is over two weeks away and I will be 48, but I've already planned my 50th birthday. Does everyone plan their 50th birthday two years out?
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When I watch TV shows where the camera is always on one side, I like to imagine what's on the camera side - like what Mary and Murray were facing on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" or what was on that narrow wall in Monica's apartment on "Friends."
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I always want to respond to simple pleasantries with "And also with you" but I never do. I always say "You too!" and then I think of this:


As My Sweetie would say: That's just foolish.

10 comments:

Mr. Jazz said...

I stoppped smoking pot to be able to tie my shoes...and then I discovered loafers ;-)

Ian Lidster said...

I love that photo of you, I do. Dollars to donuts I do. And you and Wendy on the pre-salting thing, which I learned early in our relationship. Maybe that is why we are celebrating 10 years this month -- yay -- because I no longer pre-salt.

Scarlet said...

At first glance, your photo made me think of Pippi Longstocking for some reason. ;) Cute!

I love that you "blah, blah, blah" to Barney. That's feulish, but funny! ;)

Jazz said...

I can't even begin to explain how much I love the inside of your head. Your brain, it is a wondrous thing indeed.

I hate the salt thing too. Actually I never salt, I got out of the habit when my mom stopped salting cause she had hypertension. I was probably 12 or so, it's gotten to the point where I actually dislike salt.

I'll be 48 in June and I'm already looking for something to top what I did for my 40th - skydiving. I'm thinking it might be shark diving this time. I'm also thinking Mr. Jazz won't wanna come this time either.

Carole said...

Hey Gee! Happy belated April Fool's Day. Cute picture!

My 50th is 6 months out and I still don't have it planned.

I'm off and about and will call you when I get back.

I've been going through internet withdrawal the past few days. Ack!

geewits said...

Mr. Jazz,
~~Couldn't tie your shoes? Hmmmm. Jamaican?

Ian,
~~You are a very wise man. And thanks!

Scarlet,
~~Blah blah blah, Scarlet, blah blah Scarlet. That's funny about Pippi. People always said my daughter looked like her. She was even in the musical here but she played a neighborhood tough.

Jazz,
~~Well aging can be a bit stressful, but it doesn't make me want to die. But hey, to each his own.

Carole,
~~Have fun. Maybe you will have many little parties? I've thought of something fun just the two of us can do.

XUP said...

I never salt at all at the table, just while cooking and I ALWAYS have to brush my teeth right after eating AND obviously you missed my Dollars to Donuts post where everything is explained: http://exurbanpedestrian.wordpress.com/2009/03/10/dollars-to-donuts/

geewits said...

Well I never miss your posts. Maybe that's why it was stuck in my head? I don't like to brush immediately after eating but I have to floss.

Jammie J. said...

I'm seeing a pattern here among commenters and I have to join in... I rarely salt anything. Sometimes I do, but it's really rare.

I like that you type what's on your mind. :)

blah blah blah geewits blah blah blah... sorry, couldn't resist. I have to practice on someone before I try it with Tuggy. :)

Gnightgirl said...

Uh oh. I'm way more drawn to salt than sugar, and I use sea salt in my cooking. I don't salt anything that is served up to me elsewhere, be it at a restaurant or at someone else's table. But I LOVE salt in my beer.

I figure I'm going to have to break this habit, as I'll be 50 soon also, and have to start taking better care of myself someday. Well, 50 in 4 years, and while I'm not actually planning the party yet, I DO think about it.