Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My Brain is Konfoozled

I remember talking to my Dad back in 1991 after Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested and all that grossness came out. Dad said, "I thought I had seen everything, but this, this is beyond my comprehension." He was 55 at the time. I was only 30, but I said, "Really??!!? There is nothing a human being can do that will surprise me." I don't know if it was because I had read so much about Hitler's holocaust or because I was born with a certain cynicism, but Dahmer's crimes didn't really seem that surprising to me. I had already read and heard so many horrible things, which in literature is elegantly called "Man's inhumanity to man" that I was already jaded at the tender young age of 30. But I guess I was only inured to horrible physical and political acts, because now, now, I have discovered something that is really freaking me out.

I imagine everyone has seen some form of these cat pictures with odd misspellings and made up "wurdz" on them. But did you know they are translating the Bible into what they call "lolcatspeak?" As my Dad would have said, "I thought I had seen everything." Here is some of the first book of Genesis:

At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

And here is some of John 3:

An Jebus sed, "Ceiling Cat has invisible haus, u gots 2 borned agen 2 see it."
4 Nicoteneus sez, "wtf d00d? How doez dat werk?"
5 Jebus sez, "is da truth, u hafta be born agen wif waterz an spiritz an stuffs.6 Flesh givez birf 2 flesh, but teh spirit gives birf to spirit, k?7 Y r u so konfoozled?8 Is lyke wind, it doz its own stufs an u dunno how it werks, but is all ok, amirite? Is like that!"
9 Nicoteneus sez, "I doez not get it." :(
10 "Den ur not gud teecher," sed Jebus. "Lez flame tnak his b4se!"11 "Ok, iz da twoof. We says sum stuff dat we sawed, and teh peeplez is still konfoozled.12 I ben talkin bout teh stuffs on urf and ur still lyke, 'whut?' so whut bout Ceiling an stuffs?13 I iz da only wan whos gone to Ceiling so u haves 2 trusts me, mkay?14 I gots 2 b lifteded up lyke Moses an his snakedy thingy,15 coz if u beleeves ur not gon be ded! Eternal lifes, u can has it!

I seriously don't know what to make of this. Is it good? Is it bad? To me it's just really freaking weird. Here's the site if you want to check it out. I just really don't know what to think. And I thought I had seen everything.

22 comments:

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I do not get this at all...! It is beyond me and I am not sure why we need this??? This isn't so much like Torture of a physical nature...More like torture of a mental nature!

FYI: I just posted the "answer" to the Guess What? post...
Thanks for playing, my dear...!

geewits said...

Naomi,
~~That was a great game. I hope you do more of those!

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

The lyrics to this song came to mind when I read your post.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet
B-B-B-Baby, you just ain't seen nothin' yet
Here's something that you never gonna forget
B-B-B-Baby, you just ain't seen nothin' yet"

Bachman Turner Overdrive (BTO)


Nothing surprises me anymore as well. people will try to rewrite the Bible into almost anything nowadays. I have also come across the Bible in pig latin!

Inway ethay eginningbay Odgay eatedcray ethay eavenhay andway
ethay earthway. Andway ethay earthway asway ithoutway ormfay,
andway oidvay; andway arknessday asway uponway ethay acefay
ofway ethay eepday. Andway ethay Iritspay ofway Odgay ovedmay
uponway ethay acefay ofway ethay atersway. Andway Odgay aidsay,
Etlay erethay ebay ightlay: andway erethay asway ightlay.

Genesis 1: 1-3


These are not translations as translations are derived from the original greek and hebrew text. The above is simply man trying to be funny... I don't think that there is anything funny about it. To me it's a waste of time but that is just my personal opinion.

I enjoyed your post Geewits! You got me thinking! Have a great day :-)

ticknart said...

I'd take it like I take the Klingon Bible: Funny to those of us who don't care. Insulting for the overly serious Christians. And some kind of "project" for those who put it together.

Basically, stupid.

Tai said...

Freakin' weird! Now I has seed everyting.

Leslie: said...

I tried to read it, but couldn't make sense of it. I guess I'm just not into the new "wurdz."

Carole said...

Hey Gee, thanks for this post! You got me thinking about this since last night. Sometimes when we have news headlines being thrown at us, it’s hard to just stop and actually “think” about what we actually think about them. So that being said, here’s a few of my ramblings about it.

On Wikipedia the definition of shock value is the potential of an image, text or other form of communication to provoke a reaction of disgust, shock, anger, fear, or similar negative emotion. Similarly shock value in advertising is defined as often used in the world of commercials in order to gain attention for the product or service in offer.

Putting those two together, clearly some people use shock value to get noticed in this world today. So, when you have parents micro-waving their babies or throwing them off of overpasses, and our children in schools and colleges are being murdered en mass by some crazy shooter, homeless people being beat and terrorized for entertainment on youtube, and that is just to name a few headlines (atrocities) in our world today, finding shock value is not as easy as it use to be! So unless you want to commit some heinous and horrendous crime, you do the next best thing, trample on the one book that all Christians find to be sacred and holy, the Bible.

I do however find it interesting that it is Jesus and Christianity that are the most frequently trampled upon when trampling upon the sacred is the means of shock value. Ever wonder why? I believe it’s because Jesus IS the one true God and the Bible is His holy word.

You know there is a scripture in the Bible that reads:
2 Timothy 3:
1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power.

Most of the headlines of today’s news seem to fit nicely into one of those categories. So, as for shock value? Ironically, overuse of “shock value” has rendered it rather shockless, but I sure think it’s a shame that it is the currency used today to get attention.

And the whole "lolcatspeak" thing is just freaking weird!

Jo said...

Geewits, I read this last night, and my brain couldn't wrap itself around it. First of all, I asked myself, "Why would someone do this?". Then I asked myself why I couldn't understand it. So then I tried to digest it and the more I thought about it, the creepier it seemed. I like cats, but this is going too far. Whoever wrote this is in very serious need of psychiatric assessment.

"Ceiling Cat has invisible haus, u gots 2 borned agen 2 see it."

Huh?

I thought I had seen everything too.

Scarlet said...

This is insane! Who would buy this?? I got a headache just trying to read the few verses you've posted here.

This is what happens when you have too much money and time on your hands. :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Why would someone do this?

Why did the Ancient Mariner shoot the albatross?

Why not?

Cycling Goddess said...

geewits ~ I didn't even attempt to read it, I was mesmerized by the cat pic though, at first I thought it was Barney being all crazy but then quickly realized my mistake... so tried to read it a little bit but since I have no clue about the bible and all that (even though I am catholic but only because my parents baptised me in that faith), I'm left scratching my head more than anything.

Some people have way too much time on their hand don't they? But then again, people can do whatever they want don't they? freedom of expression :)

Big Brother said...

Obviously some people have way too much time on their hands and they should seriously start looking for a life.. ;o)

Jammie J. said...

I'm with Naomi -- do we really need this? And one question further -- Isn't Genesis hard enough to read on its own?

geewits said...

Dave,
~~Is it good that I got you thinking? I love that BTO song!

Ticknart,
~~I know I sound like a broken record and you may be tired of hearing it, but you are very wise.

Tai,
~~You has no seed evrthin until you seeds me in Joon.

Leslie,
~~Yes, it is very weird.

Carole,
~~Well, it sounds like Timothy was just trying to warn people not to be a-holes. Something I didn't point out is that these kids that are doing these translations are actually reading the Bible.

Josie,
~~Ceiling Cat teld me go drinx beer.

Scarlet
~~Like I told Carole, at least they have to read the Bible to do this right?

Sylvie,
~~Yes!

Big Brother,
~~Who knows the minds of men? (heh heh, I'm just getting silly now.)

Jeanette,
~~We hardly need anything that's out there, bu out there it is.

geewits said...

Oops, I skipped JR!
~~Why did the ancient mariner shoot the albatross?

Russell said...

I love your comment to Josie -- Ceiling Cat teld me go drinx beer!! That made me laugh!

I don't know much about the bible. As a Catholic growing up we did not read the bible too much - that was always a point of contention since the Catholics have their bible and other churches use the King James bible and so on.... I never understood that but was taught not to question. Of course, now I question everything...

I am a CEO Catholic now - Christmas and Easter Only!! Oh well. I am sure I will go to hell, but most of my friends will be there, too!!!

Take care.

Ian Lidster said...

Further evidence that this damn old world is getting stupider all the time.

geewits said...

Russell,
~~If you feel like you will go to hell, then you're still a Catholic!

Ian,
~~No kidding.

Russell said...

Heh! I liked your response!!

I remember being around the nuns when I was a child. They always scared me a lot with their black habits, crucifixes and a rosary beads hanging from their waists like a six-shooter, and ruler in hand just waiting to give some little kid a whack!!

I always wondered if they had hair...! Oh well... Times have changed but I still keep my distance from nuns!!

Carole said...

Geewits, I like that you see the silver lining to things. Thanks for pointing it out to me. And what about this wind here! Are we about to blow away or what?

geewits said...

Russell,
~~I've had dozens of friends that went to Catholic school and they were ALL terrified of the nuns!

Carole,
~~No kidding about this wind. I was watching TV very late last night and had to keep turning up the volume. It felt like the whole roof was rattling!