Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The Icky and the Good

Warning: Do not read this while eating or if you are easily grossed out:
I was having a good ole time out in the yard prepping all my pots for flowers. I have a system that involves pulling out all the old roots, pulling out all the spring weed growth, and putting most of the old soil into a big tub that I have already filled with peat moss. I recycle the old soil with peat moss to use as a base and then I use new potting soil on top. I am also excessively pigeon-toed. I always say I have Fred Flintstone feet. What happened was, I got my Mom's toes and she wears a size 10 and my Dad's feet and he wore a men's 7. And my feet are flat and duck shaped. Seriously, I could win an ugly foot contest. Or all them if there were such contests. I always had problems with my pigeon-toedness. When I was little, I'd run excitedly and trip over my own feet. As an adult I have stabbed myself in the heel many times with the other foot, but heels are rather tough. Today, I was sitting on the edge of the deck, turned to stand up and walk across the deck and my left big toe nail slashed into my right foot. At first I just thought "Ouch!" and kept walking but thought, "Man, that really hurt!" and then I looked down and there was a giant open crater on my foot. My first impulse was to throw up and my second impulse was to faint (because I am the queasy type) and my brain got confused so I did neither. But I felt all gibbly goobly and went into thought mode. My first thought was, "I need to get a beer and a towel and a Band-Aid and the Neosporin and some paper towels and take a picture for my blog and go to the tub and rinse this thing out." In the picture, the part on the left is just blood. The crater is on the right. I couldn't bear to actually touch anything to the giant open crater, so after I rinsed it really well, I put the Neosporin on the Band-Aid and put that on. Man that was gross. But what was even grosser, was after I rinsed it, and had the Band-Aid on, I thought, "I wonder if that giant layer of skin that is missing from my foot is still stuck under my toenail?" Eeeeeeew. IT WAS! Ick ick ick. Then I felt all flooby again so I decided not to think about it. I continued planting flowers and occasionally glanced at the Band-Aid which was slowly being soaked with blood. So I decided not to think about that anymore, either. My Sweetie got home while I was still planting flowers and I told him about my horrific ordeal. He and I are opposite on our queasiness factor: insects make him queasy and blood and gore make me queasy so when I held up my left toe (the evil one) and showed him the giant piece of skin stuck there, he snatched it out and tossed it in the yard. I hope none of you were eating while you were reading this.

Here's the good part: Kansas won! I won $420!!!! I think the last thing I won was a pink plastic flute when I was in third or fourth grade at a Girl Scout Bingo game. Well, if you don't count casino wins (but hey, the losses at casinos SO outweigh the wins!). I thought it was cool that the top prize was $420 because my birthday is 4/20. I'm going to send $100 to St.Jude's Childrens Hospital because that was my deal with The Universe. So I have a hole in my Fred Flintstone foot, but I have some money coming and St. Jude's will get $100. It's not all bad.

18 comments:

Russell said...

Congratulations! on your Kansas win last night!! Talk about a last second shot to tie it up! My goodness!! (Okay, men don't say "my goodness" do they? I never do in real life and have no idea why I type it.... oh well. And I can't stand the metro-sexual types and they all know it!!)

But that was an incredible come back. I hope you didn't turn off the TV with about 2 minutes to go and Kansas trailing by 9 points!

Sorry to hear about your toe. I am doing things like that all the time. When you live on an acreage and mess around with tractors, horses, lawn mowers and so on it goes with the territory. But it is never fun.

I suggest you take your husband out for a fun time soon - now that's a good way to spend part of your winnings!

Scarlet said...

Ouch! That looks painful! It's funny that you mention Flinstone feet, that's what my best friend calls her feet and I don't get it. They look fine!

On a positive note, congratulations on winning th $420 (or should I say 4/20). Your b-day's coming up. Woo-hoo! With the extra $, I hope you get to do something special. My sister-in-law is coming to town and her b-day is 4/20 as well, so as we celebrate, know that we'll be toasting to you, too!

ticknart said...

Alive. Network at work has been out due to move. Not eager to blog, though.

Dave said...

""I need to get a beer and a towel and a Band-Aid and the Neosporin and some paper towels and take a picture for my blog and go to the tub and rinse this thing out."

So... you got the beer first huh? "ATTA" GIRL! :-)

Take care of that toe! ;-)

geewits said...

Russell,
~~Oh we caught the whole game! I'm terribly superstitious and at the end I thought, "I should go stand in the kitchen and watch the rest through the window because when I was watching from there earlier, Kansas was kicking ass." As soon as I went into the kitchen, Kansas started their mad dash at the end of regulation. It was crazy!

Scarlet,
~~Does she know she has the same birthday as Adolph Hitler?

Ticknart,
~~I'm glad you're alive!

Dave,
~~Oh yeah. Always get the beer first.

Carole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carole said...

Big Congrats on the $420.00!! Woo Hoo! That's pretty exciting, especially on a $10.00 buy in. Ouchies on the foot injury. Ya know, if you took up some martial arts, think of what you could do to the other guy! haha I can hear it now, "I must warn you that my feet are registered deadly weapons, and they are featured in a famous old cartoon." As for our flowers, let's hope we don't have a repeat of last year. We're just 5 days away from the anniversary of that crazy Friday the 13th hail storm that beat the bejeebers out of my flowers last year! But that's the first time I'd seen hail like that in 10 years, so we're probably good for another couple of years at least. Very pretty flowers by the way!

geewits said...

Carole,
~~I have just one more pot, but I will have to wait until tomorrow night. I am spent and I have dirt in my foot wound. Yuck. I need to rinse that boy out! When we get everything nice out there, I'll have you over to see the yard. I know your first impression was not so good!

Carole said...

Geewits,
Great! I'd love to see it. I thought you had a lovely yard actually. Our yard has been a jungle, but we finally got those bushes down. You'll have to come check it out too. Ahhh Springtime!

Big Brother said...

Gee you can actually plant flowers... here the snow is still melting, and melting, and melting. Heard though that on the weekend we might get some more snow.
As for the foot injury, you should never work in the garden barefoot... once spiked myself with the pitch fork while working in sandals. Made a really nice hole, I now wear shoes while working.
Congratulations for the win, nice gesture giving some to the hospital.

Jo said...

Geewits, you are too funny! Any excuse for a beer right? Paper cut? Hangnail? An eyelash in your eye?

I'm just teasing.

That actually looks really painful. I hope it's feeling better now.

Shall I tell you about the time I ripped my toenail off? Would that make you feel flooby again? *heh*

Jammie J. said...

I love to put hydrogen peroxide on wounds. I love the fizzing action. People always say hydrogen peroxide hurts, I don't think it hurts at all. Isn't that weird?

In fact, I just sliced the top layer of skin off a portion of the back of my hand this morning. I immediately ran back in the house and put hydrogen peroxide on it, but the fizz action was somewhat disappointing. I think the wound was too fresh. Ummm, hmmmm. Yeah. Enough of that.

Sorry for your wound. I hope it heals fast and thank the universe for your husband who can pull that hunk of skin out from under your toenail.

And YAY! Geewits got $320 for her money hump! Love building the money hump! :)

Jocelyn said...

"I need to get a beer and a towel and a Band-Aid and the Neosporin and some paper towels and take a picture for my blog and go to the tub and rinse this thing out."

And this kind of thinking is exactly why I like you so much.

geewits said...

Big Brother,
~~I only wear shoes when I absolutely have to. These Fred Flintstone feet do not like being contained. Fortunately we do not leave pitchforks laying around in the yard. I hope your snow finally finishes melting and you, too, can plant some flowers.

Josie,
~~Just reading about your toenail being ripped off made me feel flooby.

Jeanette,
~~I've been doing the peroxide all my life and even know the little slighly unscrewed cap drizzle trick but I read recently not to do that. It said that you are killing off your on antibodies and just to flush with water. I did miss the fizz and it never hurt me either.

Jocelyn,
~~My priorities. Whayyagonnado?

Russell said...

Like a bad habit, I am back....

The people from Kansas should be grateful to you!! I am extremely superstitious, too, and have done some pretty crazy things over the years. Being from Iowa, I have often gotten caught up with Iowa Hawkeye football games and during some bowl games I have been pretty insane.

One game was the Capitol One Bowl a couple of years ago and Iowa was playing LSU. On the last play of the game the Iowa quarterback threw up a hail mary type pass and a kid caught the ball and ran into the end zone! I think it took me two or three days to stop yelling!

Carole said...

By the way...giving $100.00 of your winnings to St. Jude's Children's Hospital...You Rock!!!

Leslie: said...

Save that cash for when you come visit! That foot does look pretty gross, wound or not! ha ha just kidding! ;D

geewits said...

Russell.
~~Don't you just love those special sports moments that stay in your head forever?

Carole,
~~Awww, doesn't everybody do that with their winnings?

Leslie,
~~No, you weren't kidding I have really ugly feet. Actually the wound almost distrcats from the ugliness of me foot. Ballet (and ice-skating, I've heard) makes for really ugly feet.