A Snake Story

My Father-in-law, "Froggy" sent this story to me today so I asked if I could post it on my blog. He's a real Texas "Good Ole Boy" and has millions of stories. Here is his snake story:

I don't know how many of you saw the news about the pipeline fire in Parker County, Texas. It is located on my former in-law's ranch just north east of Lake Weatherford. The ranch was purchased by Bill McDavid in 1961 and named the Bull Goose Ranch. Soon after he purchased it, we discovered what came to be known as the "snake pit." The former owner (s) had dumped their garbage and trash in a gully formed by erosion. I had discovered and dispatched a world record western diamondback rattlesnake at the site and my mother-in-law gave orders for the den to be destroyed. The trash attracted rodents, a smorgasbord for the snakes.

At that time, we loaned our cosmetically challenged used cars to undercover DEA agents. They needed cars that blended in with the surroundings on stakeouts. In exchange they gave me some tear gas bullets in .22 and .38 calibers. I fired several of these rounds in to cracks around the pit without any results. One of the agents gave me a half dozen tear gas grenades which he said should do the job.

My father-in-law flew up from Houston one day with Alan Shepard, the astronaut, his partner in banking, cattle and some quarter horses. He wanted to know about the snake pit and I told him about the tear gas grenades. He wanted to watch so we loaded up and went to the ranch.

Erosion had created a cave which I suspected housed the serpents. I very carefully climbed the wall leading up to a large crack where I planned to toss the grenades. My father-in-law and Alan were standing, looking over in to the pit to watch. I pulled the pins on the grenades, and tossed both of them in to the crack. The wind was blowing just right to force the gas to the back of the cave. It was also blowing just right to spread the gas where Alan and Bill were standing in business suits. They backed away but not quick enough. They were hacking and sneezing and were still suffering on the way back to town. I noticed that I was also feeling the effects. We decided the gas had impregnated their clothing. A stop at Bowden's department store for a set of khakis for both men and finally some relief.

We didn't see a single snake as a result of the tear gas. I decided more drastic steps were needed and assembled the things I would need. Five gallons of gasoline, about twenty feet of half inch copper tubing, a funnel and matches. With the help of one of my employees who wasn't too keen on snake killing, we poured the gasoline down one of the cracks where the tear gas had exited. I poured a long back trail of fuel, tossed a match and ran. I can only describe the results as a miniature Hiroshima Atom Bomb blast. The fire only burned for a few minutes and we looked over the edge to check for survivors As far as we could tell, there were none. There were pieces of snake and some things we thought might be large rats. To my knowledge, there have never been any more snakes in that area.

Froggy