I found out today that one of my Meals on Wheels people died last week. I didn't know these guys very well even though they were on my route for almost 3 years. I've never really mentioned them before, just mentioned the horrible construction that seemed to take an eternity in their trailer park. I think that was back in 2005. Their trailer was paint-balled last year in yellows and greens and I remember feeling profoundly sad that some punks probably did that because they knew a gay couple lived there. I can't say the man's name because of MOW confidentiality, but he always reminded me of Squiggy from "Laverne and Shirley." I used to refer to his partner and him as Lenny and Squiggy (not to them of course) even though the Lenny one didn't really look like Lenny.
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On a few occasions when "Squiggy" answered the door, when he wasn't heavily medicated, he was quite talkative. He told me that he had spent several years in a wheelchair and had been told at one point that he might never walk again. They did have a ramp to their door. Squiggy was always on his feet when I saw him, except one time he answered the door from the floor. I was alarmed but he assured me he had just fallen upon answering the door and it was quite common for him. He once told me that he needed more back surgery but just didn't want to go through that again.
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I asked his partner today what he had died from. He told me that his teeth had gone bad and turned septic and that it had entered his bloodstream. He said he refused to go to the hospital. He put on his best favorite outfit and laid on the bed and died.
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I knew something was wrong when I knocked on the door and heard, "Come in!" I had never entered their home before. It was a giant mess as if it had been ransacked. "Lenny" told me he was going through "Squiggy's" things. He told me Squiggy was 52 and that they had been partners for 31 years. He was so sad. He said, "If he had gone to the hospital they could have given him an antibiotic IV." I told him that I knew someone who had died of the same thing IN the hospital. Very little solace, I'm sure. But Lenny did admit that poor ole Squiggy was just worn out.
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Rest in Peace, Squiggy.
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15 comments:
Oh, that is so sad... It's odd, isn't it, the feeling we're left with when someone we barely know dies. Not a huge hole, but a hole none-the-less.
It's good of you to remember Squiggy with this post. I imagine Lenny must feel lonely now.
That's a sad little story and his demise obviously had impact on you. I thought when I read the title it was the Laverne and Shirley Squiggy, because I knew that he had MS, but now I feel bad for your Squiggy. Life is damn unfair sometimes.
Ian
Tracey,
I've never thought of that exactly but it is so true.
Squirrel,
Yeah, Lenny looked lost. It was hard not to cry.
Ian,
Death is the serious downside to doing Meals on Wheels for any length of time. Squiggy is not my first loss and will not be my last.
May he rest well, now.
Tai,
I hope so. Poor guy.
Geewits, what a sad story. I work in a health care facility, and sometimes our patients die, and it's very difficult on everyone. Please give Lenny my sympathy when you see him again. He must feel like a lost soul now.
Josie
Josie,
That must be tough. I'm sure you've seen a lot more death than I have. I have an idea of something to do for him, but I'll have to call the MOW office. He did look so lost, it was heartbreaking. I can't imagine a 31-year partnership.
Sweet post Geewits...as a human being to another in this (sometime) crazy old world, here's to you for a thoughtful tribute.
Sounds like Sqiggy had his fair share of challenges, but also had Lenny to share his life with and support each other.
Here's to Sqiggy, rest in peace... and condolences to Lenny.
So sad to hear their home got vandalised too, their home..and should be their safe haven.
Pam
Sienna,
Thanks.
Some people are willing to accept that it's their time to go. Still, in must be difficult for "Lenny." Also, my in-laws were volunteers for Meals-on-Wheels for years.
Good for them! I'm at about 6 1/2 years now. I was so happy to find something I could do to be a contributing member of society.
I'm so sorry Squiggy died. There's solace in knowing that someone is out there, a constancy, I guess. When they're gone, that balance is interrupted. :(
I'm sure what you said helped Lenny a little. At least Squiggy chose what he wanted to wear, I guess.
J,
Yeah, that part was weird about his getting dressed up and lying down to die. I was thinking about asking the other MOW people on my route if they'd like to go in on having Merry Maids clean the place up. It was pretty bad.
Merry Maids would be a nice touch...
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