Monday, October 17, 2005

Adios Smoking - I Hope I Don't Get Fat

I hadn't mentioned this before, but I was sick as a dog from this cold I'd had. I'm not a doctor person but was doing a follow-up from something else and said, "While I'm here can you listen to my left lung?" It had been aching for almost a week. Well, the guy freaked out and sent me for a chest x-ray, which kinda freaked me out. He said my lungs were bad and I actually showed early signs of emphysema. Now that's a little odd to me, because I've only smoked for 9 years and not even all in a row. But I figured neither the x-ray, nor the doctor would lie.

I grew up in North Carolina and pretty much EVERYBODY smoked. My Dad was in the tobacco business for more than 12 years and my brother did summer tobacco farming from the time he was 13. Tobacco was a NC thing. My parents smoked and my brother "came out" as a smoker at 15. For some reason I never picked it up. I did the occasional experiment at ages 12 and 14, but it just never caught on with me. I did start smoking pot in about the middle of my junior year of high school, but I was done with that by about February of my freshman year in college. I just didn't like the coughing and hacking. It didn't seem lady like.

In 1995, I got the job I always dreamed of. Not only was it the job of my dreams, but I was coming from a job that SUCKED. I grew up watching the Mary Tyler Moore show and always wanted to work downtown in a tall building. I had had some temp jobs in some of the tallest buildings in Dallas, but as a temp, you don't really belong there. This particular job was on the 16th floor of a famous building in downtown Fort Worth. I was thrilled!

It was pretty clear right away who the "cool people" were. They were also the smokers. I would join them on their smoke breaks just to hang out and that led to bumming an occasional smoke. Well somehow that led to my smoking in bars, which through some unnatural progression led to my becoming a smoker of clove cigarettes. I enjoyed the cloves at the time, but they tend to fill your lungs with clove oil. I guess around 2002 I had that constant yucky hack (it's not very lady like) and decided to quit. My Sweetie also decided to quit. I quit for about a year, but would smoke some of Lolo's Camels when we vacationed. I was fine with that, but discovered My Sweetie was secret smoking. I said "That's silly! Let's just smoke!" I do not like secrets. So here we are. He had been wanting to quit for a while and my doctor scared me, so I had my last cigarette Friday afternoon at the Las Vegas airport.

And by last cigarette, I mean the last one I've had to date. I'm not one of those all or none AA type people. I am through being a smoker, but if I feel like it I will have an occasional smoke. I'm actually looking forward to clearing my system of nicotine and having that rare smoke that gives you that fun little rush. My biggest fear is gaining weight. I think it will be fun to keep up with all this here. Wish me luck!

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