Maybe when you are in your thirties, you can give some sort of solid advice to your twenties self, but at forty-nine, I really have nothing to say to that girl. And by that, what I mean is I would hate to take the chance of changing anything to affect where I am right now.~
I'm sure there are some little things I could say like:
-When you go to that Christmas eve party in 1985 drink a little less champagne and go home earlier since your parents are coming over the next day for Christmas.
-When what's his name's wife tells you about their adopted child's SIDS death, DO NOT SPEAK unless it's to say, "I'm so sorry!"
-Do not scream like a crazed lunatic at the little cub scout who accidentally stole your daughter but then brought her back. He DID bring her back.
-At your wedding reception to your second husband, don't be an idiot. (Sorry but I can't go into detail on that one.)
~
I don't think any of those things would have changed the course of history, but they would have made me feel a little bit better about myself. Ideally, I would like to tell my twenties self this: Your "bad temper" is not that at all. You have a malfunctional adrenal gland that keeps you in a constant state of flight or fight. There is medicine for this called beta blockers. Get some.
~
But probably most of my life choices were made in my fight or flight mode. And I like where I am right this minute, so I guess "everything happens for a reason" is an expression that makes sense. So if I really could send a message to my twenties self, I guess I would keep it to the four things above, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even listen. She would probably feel like she was being attacked by a giant bear. Because that's what having an effed-up adrenal gland feels like.
5 comments:
I'm pretty sure that if I went to talk to my 20-year-old self, that young, know-it-all self would tell me where to go. Because what could she possibly learn from a middle-aged public servant anyway? I would definitely listen if my 80-year-old self stopped in to give me some advice, though.
I'd have nothing to say to my 20 year old self either. I'd probably just look at myself and scratch my head in confusion.
And is that a noose around the cat's neck?
Hey, this is great! You've inspired me to do this. :)
When I read about the flight or fight I thought of that wonderful book written by Benson. I read it when I was suffering from a little anxiety back in '05. I understood a lot of things about myself that year and the book helped.
PS - The one about the cub scout and your daughter made me laugh! :)
Gee, was that cat a horse thief? "They hang horse thieves don't they?"
I have often thought of what I would say to the people in my life if I could pop back in time; not sure I ever thought of what I'd say to myself. But off the top of my head, I think I would tell myself to love the people in my life and tell them how much they mean to me and to enjoy the moments, because time is fleeting, and some of the people you love most won't be with you someday. Also, that when you look back, love is the thing that will matter the most.
Xup,
~~I think I could convince myself that it was me and I would listen, but I'd be more concerned that current me would say too much.
Jazz,
~~Your 20's you confuses you? Yes that's a noose. I was just being goofy for the picture. What I really wonder is why was I wearing Randy's shirt and socks.
Ily,
~~Nice to see you again. I'll have to look for that book.
Carole,
~~Very wise advice.
Post a Comment