The thirty-something female bloggers are all sending letters to their twenty-something selves. I thought that was a fun idea at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought maybe it wasn't a good idea. Me at 21:
Maybe when you are in your thirties, you can give some sort of solid advice to your twenties self, but at forty-nine, I really have nothing to say to that girl. And by that, what I mean is I would hate to take the chance of changing anything to affect where I am right now.
I'm sure there are some little things I could say like:
-When you go to that Christmas eve party in 1985 drink a little less champagne and go home earlier since your parents are coming over the next day for Christmas.
-When what's his name's wife tells you about their adopted child's SIDS death, DO NOT SPEAK unless it's to say, "I'm so sorry!"
-Do not scream like a crazed lunatic at the little cub scout who accidentally stole your daughter but then brought her back. He DID bring her back.
-At your wedding reception to your second husband, don't be an idiot. (Sorry but I can't go into detail on that one.)
I don't think any of those things would have changed the course of history, but they would have made me feel a little bit better about myself. Ideally, I would like to tell my twenties self this: Your "bad temper" is not that at all. You have a malfunctional adrenal gland that keeps you in a constant state of flight or fight. There is medicine for this called beta blockers. Get some.
But probably most of my life choices were made in my fight or flight mode. And I like where I am right this minute, so I guess "everything happens for a reason" is an expression that makes sense. So if I really could send a message to my twenties self, I guess I would keep it to the four things above, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't even listen. She would probably feel like she was being attacked by a giant bear. Because that's what having an effed-up adrenal gland feels like.