The Precognizant Restaurant Hostess

I've been having a lot of OUT days lately. It may not register to anyone that reads here how many IN days that I have because I mostly post about the OUT days. I mean, what sort of blog would it be to say, "I stayed home again today." Heck I could post more often if I were going to do just that.
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Monday morning I woke up really early for me. It was 10:15. I was lying in bed and thought, "Since it's so early and I have some errands to run, I think I'll go out for lunch." And I did. Of course my lunch time is 1:30 so I had plenty of time. Normally (ha ha! that word doesn't really fit me!) I can't seem to get out of the house before 3:00 unless there is some hideous ungodly reason there is something I really have to do.
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So I stopped by the QT (a local convenience store) and grabbed a "USA Today" and went for some Mexican food at On The Border. I tried a new menu item that was crazy messy yet delicious and headed out to run my errands. As I got to the door, the hostess yelled at me, "Watch out for the bench!!" I was all, whaa..aaa? She explained, "We just put that bench there and I'm afraid someone will walk into it." It was on my right and I just shrugged and thought, "What the hell? Anyone can see that. Who's going to walk into that bench?"
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Tuesday morning the phone rang and it was Meals On Wheels asking me to sub for a route. Although they called at 8:15 am, and I had gone to bed at 5:00 am, I said okay. Then I turned my alarm on, which is set for 8:44 and went back to sleep. I then pushed the snooze button about 18 billion times until around 9:30.
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I had only picked up food at this location, a library, once before. I had gone in one door and saw another guy go out a door that was closer and so had gone out that door. Well Tuesday morning I tried to go IN that door and it was locked, so with my arms full of the containers for transporting the food, I walked around to the door I had gone in the first time and as I rounded the corner my right knee smacked right into A BENCH. Smacked into it in a bad way. My first instinct was to drop everything, lay down, curl up in a ball, and call for my mommy. But after the stars and swirls and little birdies that were swimming around my head subsided I bucked up and kept walking into the library. Then I remembered the restaurant hostess yelling, "Watch out for the bench!"