I apparently walked right by that huge lizard a few times before I noticed it. It was in the hallway near my bedroom door. I didn't see it until I was walking out with the sheets to wash. Then I shrieked and ran back into the room. I was panicky and called my husband and told him I was trapped in the bedroom. He laughed.
I got the golf club and the cat gate and used those to shore myself up to get by the lizard and then I went outside and called my neighbor. I was really freaking out. You would think I had a velociraptor in my house. I felt like I had a velociraptor in my house.
Carole came over, cool as a cucumber. I handed her a large plastic storage bin and a broom and she swept that creepy thing into the bin. I shakily handed her the lid and she popped it on. She could tell it was injured and felt sorry for it and I was just: GET. IT. OUT.
It's pretty obvious that the only way it could have gotten in the house was through the pet door in Barney's mouth. I guess he brought it to me as a gift. No thank you, Barney.
But thank you Carole. A lot!