Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Terrible Irony of Domestic Violence

The radio station I listen to plays that new Eminem/Rihanna song quite often. The lyrics are very disturbing because as I've said many times, I am unable to grasp the concept of "loving someone so much you want to kill or hurt them." And the reason I put that in quotation marks is because it's too bizarre for me to think of as an actual thought.
In the song he says something like: if she tries to leave me again I'll tie her to the bed and set the house on fire.
Usually I just ponder these things and think they are bizarre. But yesterday I finally got it. It just came to me in a flash of thought. I understand what domestic violence is all about now. And it is a terrible irony.
What happens is the violent person does not realize one of the very basic facts of life: One cannot control all aspects of life or control other persons. Heck, the serenity prayer, which is just really common sense, is pretty much all about that. So these ignorant pathetic individuals can't even grasp the simple fact that pure control is elusive. Therefore when something happens that they can't control, they lash out from frustration - and here's the ironic part: They act out violently because they don't even have self control. So they are furious because something happened that they couldn't control and yet they can't even control themselves. How ironic is that? And how awful.
Anyway, that's what I believe domestic violence is all about. Maybe they should make kids recite the serenity prayer every morning before class. They can leave out the god part and call it the "Serenity Mantra" or something. Or maybe call it "The Wisdom Poem." It certainly couldn't hurt.


Scarlet Ily said...

I should have my friend from Orlando read this. Her husband is a control freak, but in his controlling ways he can be mean but also overly attentive (calling every hour on the hour). He just needs to know where she'll be at all times and what she saw as flattering in the beginning has become a prison sentence. It's sad because once a person is caught up in all that they can't react normally. They love the abuser and make excuses for him and since he's over the top in the attention dept. he gives off mixed signals. It's a horrible cycle and I've learned too much about it these last few years trying to be there for my friend.

I agree, reciting the prayer in schools (and leaving God in it) is a wonderful idea!

geewits said...

~~I feel really sorry for your friend and doubly sad that she was initially flattered by his over-attention. The reality is he is a sad insecure little man and deperately needs to control something and he has chosen her.

tattytiara said...

For a lot of people there are only two options - control, and fear. If you ain't got the one you're guaranteed the other.

geewits said...

~~I'd like to hear you expound on that because isn't control itself based on fear? Fear is the greatest contributor to bad behavior.

Anonymous said...

the important thing is to foster plenty of healthy relationships; particularly a few strong relationships. It is the lack of these that make a person want to control 'the one' person in his/her life.

Lo said...

I hate that song. It's so stupid and I can't even listen to it.