And It Was Good!

When I was 5 or 6 my mother was in a bowling league and all the children at the bowling alley were allowed to run around like a pack of wild dogs. I remember playing the juke box and dancing and I remember exploring the back rooms. One time in one of those back rooms, maybe the ladies' locker room, my brother dared to me to touch two electrical wires at the same time. They were sticking out of what had probably been an outlet but was just an open place in the cinder block wall. Being 5 or 6 and not knowing any better I of course grabbed the wires and was thrown backwards by a horrible electric shock. I'm surprised I didn't have a pants accident.
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As all childhood traumas are wont to do, that particular experience gave me a lifelong fear of electricity. Well today, I conquered that fear. I installed a new light fixture in my laundry room:

I did a previous post about the light fixture being some sort of idiotic halogen bulb and how hard it was to replace and that I had bought a new fixture, but in that post I also said I was going to have an electrician replace it for me. Well the first guy came down with a case of mononucleosis and so I called another guy and they kept forgetting about me. So today (Monday I mean) I decided to do it myself.

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After removing the old fixture there was a black wire and a white wire sticking out and I made myself touch them. Not at the same time like when I was 5 or 6. I would stand at the top of the step stool and look at them and then go have a beer and then stand at the top of the step stool and look at them and then go have another beer until I had finally worked up my nerve. I got back up there and quickly tapped my right index finger against the black wire. Nothing happened. I was so relieved. But I did go have one more beer before I touched the white wire.

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Once I realized I would not be shocked, I quickly did all the simple steps and had a new light fixture that uses a regular bulb. I was so tickled. Not that I had a new light fixture and not that I had saved $75. I was tickled because I had done it myself. Myself! I had conquered my lifelong fear and touched those wires. I said, "Let there be light!" I flipped the switch. It came on. And it was good.