Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Grammar Rants and Eggs

I did a post back in May about pronunciations, and word misusage. I feel kinda bad (hypocritical?) because in the last couple of months I realized that I am very lazy with my itses and whosits. I've just started to make a conscious effort to use "it's," "its," "who's" and "whose" correctly. I don't think I actually use a lot of sentences where "whose" is necessary, but I'm pretty sure I am adding that apostrophe to "its" the majority of the time. I will try to amend my ways. Maybe they should add an "e" to the end of "its" to make "itse," sorta how they did with "whose." As in "That cat near bout bit itse own tail off."

The reason I don't use spell-check: I originally stopped using spell-check almost as soon as I started this blog. It was reformatting my writing by deleting the spaces between paragraphs. I like my spaces. Since then I've realized that NOT using spell-check has made me smarter. If I'm unsure of a word, I look it up here. Also I read over my posts about 5 times before I post them and that gives me lots of time to make sure I am saying what I really want to say. Plus, overreliance on spell-check can make you look stupid. There is a lady with a pretty popular blog who claims to be a professional writer. And when I say "claims to be" I mean just that. She says she is, but as her blog is anonymous, there's no way to know for sure. Therefore, I'm not going to say she IS a professional writer, because I do not know that for sure. I'm just saying that SHE says she is. Anyway, here are some things I found on her blog recently:

"She told me that (person's name) likes to runaway."

"...minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours."

These are things that spell-check will not catch as they are legitimate words. But "runaway" as one word is a noun. And "pours, " well, that is a verb and not tiny holes in your skin. And "runaway" reminds me of another pet peeve: The misuse of "everyday" and "every day." I once saw that misused in a fancy ad section for Lane Bryant in Oprah's magazine. I think it said something like "Look your best everyday." I couldn't believe it! My background is in advertising and pre-press. I can't imagine how much that ad cost! How on Earth did a mistake like that slide by so many people? Also the professional writer lady used "sugar coat" but "sugarcoat" is all one word. That's one most people wouldn't notice and spell-check would never catch. Maybe she really is a professional writer and is used to proofreaders and editors doing all the work for her.

Now I want to make up something stupid so that "...minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours." can actually make sense:

I sat there with my shattered nose plugged and bandaged. As I watched the barmaid refill our mugs from our pitcher, my surroundings seemed normal minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours.

Odd cooking tip of the day: If you have trouble peeling boiled eggs, I have discovered the secret to a perfectly smooth egg. Do not look at or think about the egg. Ignore it completely. I discovered this a few months ago while watching some particularly riveting television. We have one of those cut outs over the kitchen sink that looks into the living room. I don't even remember what I was watching. I just know that suddenly I looked down and had a plate of peeled eggs with not a divot between them. Now I always use this method. If the TV is not on, I will look away and force myself to think about something else. If I look at or think about the egg, I will fuck it up. DO NOT LOOK AT THE EGG! Seriously, it works.


Gary said...

As I have gotten older my memory has faded a bit and I really have to think sometimes before I can get my grammar right. Actually, I'm pretty tolerant of other people's grammar and spelling as long as I don't have trouble understanding what they mean.

I never use spell-check either.

Groanin' Jock said...

I'm a reporter and sub-editor for a local newspaper, and can't understand how people who submit articles to us can have got through life which such a flimsy grasp of both spelling and grammar.

Phil said...

1. I love spell check and I just re-add the spaces between paragraphs. I'm a good speller, but I never catch my typos.

2. Does anyone really worry if they have divots in their hard boiled eggs?

3. You are officially written into The Blog Party.