Finding My Feet in 1979

For some reason I was thinking of an event from my senior year in high school. I posted over a year ago about events leading up to this particular moment here. (And apparently I did not proofread that post before publishing it.) I realized just today that one little snap decision pretty much set the stage of who I was going to be in the future. It's interesting to think that just 5 months in Texas changed me so much. Oh and also I had the day wrong. I graduated on a Tuesday, not a Monday. Tuesday, June 5th in fact. I know this because I looked at my diploma. I wonder why I didn't do that before?

So I graduated on Tuesday, passed out at (before) the party, packed in a huge hurry on Wednesday morning and caught a plane back to North Carolina. It was going to be a tight race for my friends to greet me at the airport. I don't remember the exact times now but everyone's last exam was to start about 2 1/2 hours before my plane landed. I was pretty nervous about seeing everyone. I had changed A LOT. I had somehow turned into a girl that got whistled at and flirted with on a constant basis. And I had a new sense of self. On top of seeing all of my guy friends and my high school boyfriend (known hereafter as HSB) I was going to meet my Dad's live-in girlfriend. I don't remember if I had a beer on the plane (everything was 18 back then) but I imagine I did. I was very excited AND nervous. The pilot was happy to announce that we had had strong tailwinds and were going to arrive 15 minutes early. I knew that wasn't good. Sure enough, there was no one to greet me when I stepped off the plane. I was carrying a very large teddy bear and a tennis racket and made my way to the luggage carousel.

I pulled my trunk and suitcase off the carousel and tried to figure out what to do. I couldn't carry all my things. Finally I decided to leave all my stuff and walk around looking for somebody, anybody that I knew. The first person I saw was Gary. It's one of my very favorite life memories. Gary was a really hot guy. He was just flummoxed when he saw me. He stopped dead in his tracks and said, "Geewits!! Is that you!?! Oh my God, you look great!" Wow. Probably the best airport greeting I will ever get. I told him where my stuff was and he ran to tell everyone where I was. After that it was chaos. I don't remember how many people came. There were either two or three cars full of people. Then an argument broke out about which car I would ride in until my Dad settled that. I was going to ride in HIS car. Then there was argument about who would ride with me. It was all funny and crazy and GREAT for my ego. I know my HSB and some other person rode in the backseat with me. My poor future step-mom was in the passenger seat and trying to figure out what the big deal was.

When we got back to my Dad's aprtment there were even MORE people waiting. It was a giant welcome home party. Here's how hectic it was: I remember searching for some time to try to show someone my high school diploma and finally giving up. I had already shown it to some people but could not find it. I remember later someone saying, "So what do you think about the baby grand piano in here?" I said, "There's a piano in here?" AND IT WAS A VERY SMALL APARTMENT. Well sure enough, there was a baby grand piano and my diploma was sitting on the music stand. That Wednesday was a blur of partying and catching up.

On Thursday I went with my HSB to the graduation rehearsal. I joined my homeroom peeps to say hi and catch up - our homerooms were kids grouped in alphabetical order for purposes of counting attendance. My old homeroom teacher didn't even realize I'd been gone. She told me to move back 8 spaces to be alphabetically correct. That cracked me up. I just stepped out of line and let them finish their stuff. The next day, Friday, was graduation. It was weird watching from the stands. At one point I got paranoid and thought, "What if someone doesn't know me that well, but recognizes me in the stands and thinks I couldn't graduate?" Yeah that was silly. Now for the weirdest part. My Dad had the graduation party at our apartment complex pool!! How weird is that? There was a band and about 4 kegs. That was the last party at that apartment complex pool. It was one GIANT party. At one point me and the HSB got in a huge fight about something. I hated that. In my wonderful 5 months in Texas I never argued with anyone.

Well anyway, now I had to pack again for Myrtle Beach. I talked previously about the end-of-the-school-year Myrtle Beach ritual here. My HSB was the only person in my high school gang that didn't have a car. His mother made an ultimatum: If he wanted to drive the car to Myrtle Beach he had to take the long way and visit his grandmother in Charlotte. Yes, Charlotte is NOT between Durham, N.C. and Myrtle Beach, S.C. So HSB's great plan was to leave Durham in the middle of the night after partying all day, drive until he couldn't take it anymore, find a cheap motel, sleep, and then drive to Grandma's house. So that's what we did. I will admit I have absolutely no memory whatsoever of the Grandma visit, but I know we did it. Then we hit the road for Myrtle Beach.

When you rented a cottage at Myrtle Beach, the term was Sunday to Sunday. So we were going to be there late Saturday afternoon with no place to stay, but HSB had information that a certain wealthy BMOC had a giant suite in the main hotel and was going to let anyone crash there Saturday night. I wasn't crazy about the idea. Well, we got to Myrtle Beach, found a parking spot and made our way to the hotel. We left all of our stuff in the car. Sure enough, we quickly found the suite. It was full of people. Lots of bong-passing ensued and there were lots of ice chests full of beer. I finally reached my limit and told HSB I had to take a nap. I stretched out on a bed and BOOM. I was out.

I woke up to a very quiet room. I looked around and there were about 6 or 7 people I didn't really know sleeping like babies. I grabbed a beer and stepped out onto the stairwell/balconey. The sun was low and there was a beautiful golden hue over everything. I was sipping my beer and looking out at the ocean. I felt very relaxed and peaceful. A guy named Peter I have known since junior high came up the stairs. He said "Hey! I heard there's a party up here." I said, "Nope. Everyone in there is asleep. I just woke up. I don't know where the party went." I could tell he was disappointed. We slipped in and got two more beers. We leaned on the railing outside looking at the ocean making idle chatter. Finally Peter said, "We've got a pretty cool house on the beach but it's a little ways down." I could tell he didn't think I would go. Yeah that was the OLD me. I said, "Really? Let's go!"

I had so much fun that night. All kinds of people kept showing up. We sat around the long kitchen table all night talking, drinking and playing poker. It wasn't my regular high school group but lots and lots of people I knew a little bit. I remember some people coming in and acting really freaked out that I was there. "Where's HSB?" they demanded. I just said, "I don't know. I woke up in BMOC's suite and he was gone." I was totally in the "you move you lose" mode. I realized then that I was just going to have fun and not sit around and wait for someone. I woke up the next morning in a room with two double beds. I was in one and a guy I'd known since 7th or 8th grade was in the other bed. I sat up and looked around trying to get my bearings. I guess Tom woke up about the same time. I said, "Oh my God, Tom B.! How are you doing? I didn't expect to see you!" It was a pleasant surprise. Peter heard us and came in. I asked if he had some shorts and a T-shirt I could borrow. I went into the bathroom, put on fresh clothes and they made me lunch. Peter was a great host.

A little later Peter drove me down to our cottage. HSB was not there, but all hell broke loose when I walked in. Apparently when HSB left me asleep in a room full of guys, he went out partying and then went swimming. He sliced his big toe open in the ocean and spent 3 or 4 hours in an emergency room. It was all "Where were YOU?" And you know what? I had no apologies. I woke up alone and went out to make my own fun. And I did.

And that's still who I am today.

Grammar Rants and Eggs

I did a post back in May about pronunciations, and word misusage. I feel kinda bad (hypocritical?) because in the last couple of months I realized that I am very lazy with my itses and whosits. I've just started to make a conscious effort to use "it's," "its," "who's" and "whose" correctly. I don't think I actually use a lot of sentences where "whose" is necessary, but I'm pretty sure I am adding that apostrophe to "its" the majority of the time. I will try to amend my ways. Maybe they should add an "e" to the end of "its" to make "itse," sorta how they did with "whose." As in "That cat near bout bit itse own tail off."

The reason I don't use spell-check: I originally stopped using spell-check almost as soon as I started this blog. It was reformatting my writing by deleting the spaces between paragraphs. I like my spaces. Since then I've realized that NOT using spell-check has made me smarter. If I'm unsure of a word, I look it up here. Also I read over my posts about 5 times before I post them and that gives me lots of time to make sure I am saying what I really want to say. Plus, overreliance on spell-check can make you look stupid. There is a lady with a pretty popular blog who claims to be a professional writer. And when I say "claims to be" I mean just that. She says she is, but as her blog is anonymous, there's no way to know for sure. Therefore, I'm not going to say she IS a professional writer, because I do not know that for sure. I'm just saying that SHE says she is. Anyway, here are some things I found on her blog recently:

"She told me that (person's name) likes to runaway."

"...minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours."

These are things that spell-check will not catch as they are legitimate words. But "runaway" as one word is a noun. And "pours, " well, that is a verb and not tiny holes in your skin. And "runaway" reminds me of another pet peeve: The misuse of "everyday" and "every day." I once saw that misused in a fancy ad section for Lane Bryant in Oprah's magazine. I think it said something like "Look your best everyday." I couldn't believe it! My background is in advertising and pre-press. I can't imagine how much that ad cost! How on Earth did a mistake like that slide by so many people? Also the professional writer lady used "sugar coat" but "sugarcoat" is all one word. That's one most people wouldn't notice and spell-check would never catch. Maybe she really is a professional writer and is used to proofreaders and editors doing all the work for her.

Now I want to make up something stupid so that "...minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours." can actually make sense:

I sat there with my shattered nose plugged and bandaged. As I watched the barmaid refill our mugs from our pitcher, my surroundings seemed normal minus the odor of booze oozing from her pours.

Odd cooking tip of the day: If you have trouble peeling boiled eggs, I have discovered the secret to a perfectly smooth egg. Do not look at or think about the egg. Ignore it completely. I discovered this a few months ago while watching some particularly riveting television. We have one of those cut outs over the kitchen sink that looks into the living room. I don't even remember what I was watching. I just know that suddenly I looked down and had a plate of peeled eggs with not a divot between them. Now I always use this method. If the TV is not on, I will look away and force myself to think about something else. If I look at or think about the egg, I will fuck it up. DO NOT LOOK AT THE EGG! Seriously, it works.

This Week So Far

At the State Fair!

Monday: The whole purpose of having My Sweetie take a half day off work during a weekday to go to the Texas State Fair is to AVOID THE CROWDS. Apparently Columbus Day is a major holiday in Texas and by major holiday I mean the day EVERYONE GOES TO THE FAIR. It was bedlam and chaos. My Sweetie was VERY proud of me that I didn't have a panic attack right away and want to leave. Actually it became a game to me to find bathrooms with no lines which I did every time after the first time - and that was near the entrance so I had no choice. We still had a good time and did most of the stuff we usually do. The Marilyn Monroe exhibit was very good and THAT bathroom was empty. The best part was the "Guess Your Age" guy guessed me at 39. The worst part was we didn't get to see the sheep dog exhibit, although I'm pretty sure it would have been the same as last year. And the year before that. And all the other times we've seen it.

Tuesday: We had to do the yearly Community Watch meeting out in the cul-de-sac. That's the type of thing I dread more than almost anything except maybe sitting in a large flourescent-lit waiting room. The good news was it got dark pretty quickly after we went out there. I'm cool beans in the dark. It was over pretty quickly and we thanked the police officer for his talk, snatched up our chairs and practically ran up the yard. I was jealous of the people that didn't come, but we live RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the sweet old WWII vet that organizes it.

Wednesday: Meals on Wheels added ANOTHER person to my route. I had only around 6 people all summer and now I have 11. I don't mind, but if they keep going at this rate I'll have 20 people by next month. I've mentioned before that we have "regular" clients and "diet" clients. The "diet" in this case does not refer to calories or fat grams but is diabetes/sugar related. The way my route is now, my first eight clients are regular and my last 3 are diet. I didn't realize until I got to the first diet house that I had 3 regular cookies left or I would have given out the extras. So I brought them home. This morning I dreamed that Meals on Wheels called me and asked if I had had extra cookies on Wednesday. I said "Yes, I brought them home." They said, "Well we need those back. You'll have to bring them in." I have the weirdest dreams.

Thursday: (Daytime Talk Shows Edition) I used to watch Dr. Phil every day at 3:00. At the beginning of the season last year I just couldn't take it any more. I found it very depressing that The Dr. Phil show was able to find an endless assortment of mean ignorant callous bullies. If you think about it that's what most of his guests are. Or pathetic doormat "victims." Yuck. Has the U.S. produced THAT MANY of these people? Again, yuck. So I started watching The Ellen Degeneres Show (or "Ellen" as most people call it). I thought it was a great show. Good stand-up at the beginning and lots of interesting guests and goofy skits (only the dancing part was kinda creepy). I was happy to have something fun to have on while I did my chores. Well, I don't know what happened but this year is terrible. Ellen seemed so full of joy last year, like she was genuinely having a good time. This year she seems to have a hard edge. She doesn't seem to be having fun at all and it feels like she is just going through the motions (or phoning it in). I hope she doesn't win the emmy again because she seems to be making no effort whatsoever. Oprah, on the other hand, seems more relaxed than ever. I'm grooving on the Tuesday road-trip episodes. Unless a guest I really like is on, Tuesday is about the only day I actually sit down and watch the whole show. Or if the topic is interesting. Lastly, I used to be a Rachel Ray fan. Now I know why "30 Minutes Meals" and "$40 a Day" were shows with just Rachel and a camera. I saw ONE episode of her new show and it was terrible. Okay maybe not terrible. More like horrible. She was manic and rude. She talked over (shouted over) anyone she was speaking to and running around like the set was on fire. I actually watched the episode that Oprah was on. Oprah is practically the owner of the show and she seemed subdued and shocked. I felt like I could see her thinking, "What the hell was I thinking? This is worse than Beloved."

On the other hand, I dedicated 4 hours today to a wonderful, savory beef stew. My daughter dropped by and decided to stay for dinner. She picked a good day. I'm looking forward to my leftovers for lunch tomorrow!

No Particular Topic

Does Jay Leno think people are stupid? He made a joke the other night about NBC scheduling "Friday Night Lights" on Tuesdays instead of Fridays. "Friday Night Lights" is about small town high school football. People who are into small town high school football can watch it because it's on Tuesdays because THEY ARE NOT HOME ON FRIDAYS BECAUSE THEY ARE AT THE FOOTBALL GAME. His comment didn't make any sense to me. And for no reason at all I'd like to state that I'm not into that sort of thing and I wouldn't watch the show on any day.

I'm really disappointed that "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" has falling ratings. It really is the best show on television. I gave it 5 stars for a reason. The other new shows we've watched:
"Jericho" 4 stars
"Heroes" 4 1/2 stars
"Smith" 1 star (we quit after two episodes)
"The Nine" ("The 9?") 3 1/2 stars

The other day I was talking about spoonerisms (ex: saying "I could not snop steezing!") Now I wonder if there is a word for physical spoonerisms. An example of this would be when you throw your spring-loaded toilet paper spool thingie in the trash and try to thread the empty cardboard from the old toilet paper into the new toilet paper roll. I've also tried to change the channel on the TV with the phone several times, although I have never tried to call anyone with the remote control.

I also realized today that I have probably never gone one full day without sneezing ("I could not snop steezing!"). Maybe when I was in Hawaii, but I'm not sure. I'm terribly allergic to house dust which is a Catch-22. If I don't dust, dust will accumulate. If I dust, even with a dust mask, I will feel sick and miserable for two days and go through a whole box of kleenex. One of the main components of house dust is human skin cell flakes. I KNOW I'm allergic to THAT because I have sneezing fits when I file my nails. I vacuum/dust a lot and that is better than cloth dusting, but it still makes my nose and eyes run. I also use Nasonex but am too goofy to remember to use it every day. Plus I think it costs about $500 an ounce. Well maybe not that much, but close. I guess I should just buy stock in Kleenex.

We are going to the Texas State Fair tomorrow (today? Monday after I wake up, anyway.) I love the state fair! My favorite part is the Creative Arts building. People submit all sorts of arts and crafts to win ribbons. There is always great photography and lovely quilts and everything in between. I usually spend a good deal of time in there. There will also be a Marilyn Monroe exhibit in the Women's Museum. My Sweetie doesn't like to ride rides but he promised me one haunted house ride (they have about 10 different haunted houses). I also always throw darts at balloons - I'm great at that! And squirting the water into the clown's mouth - always pick the one with the freshest balloon! Don't forget the junk food and the sheep dog exhibition! Woo Hoo!! I guess the state fair is my third favorite once-a-year event after Christmas and my birthday. On that note I should go to bed because I plan to be at the fair in 12 hours.
Weeeeeeeeeee!!

No Deep Thoughts

The Earth at Night

I was studying this picture of the Earth at night (and you can look at a much larger picture here). I was getting a lot of deep thoughts about the Earth and all of its inhabitants. Then I switched right over to the very simple thought, "Man! The U.S. sure does burn a lot of electricity at night!" And then THAT reminded me of something that happened many years ago. My second husband had a best friend named Gary. They really liked to get together at Gary's and jam on guitars, bass and whatever. I got along great with Gary. He was 10 years older than me and had served in Vietnam and told some fascinating stories about his experience - unlike a lot of Vietnam vets. What I mean by that is I've met a lot of vets that would not discuss their service AT ALL. Gary had all sorts of stories to tell. Granted he did not have a terrible job title like "search and destroy." His outfit cleared jungle for helicopters to land. Gary and his wife Karen were VERY close. They fell madly in love with each other at the age of 14. Two years later they wanted to get married and their parents would not hear of it (and this was Arkansas) so they got pregnant ON PURPOSE so they could get married. They had a son and two years later they had another son. Gary went off to Vietnam for two tours while Karen raised the two boys. By the time I met Gary and Karen, their sons were both in their early twenties and still living at home. They were a VERY tight family. They were such a tight family that when several years later, Gary and Karen were transferred to Iowa after a big company shake-up, both boys went to live with them along with their Texas wives.

But I need to get back to what I was talking about. We would visit G&K often enough - mostly for the guys to jam and once or twice to watch a movie. Karen was very old school and was mostly interested in serving snacks and making sure everyone had whatever they needed. She never chatted or made small talk. She would be quite talkative with her boys when they came through the house, but never had much to say to me or my husband. One day I decided that this lack of communication was my fault and decided to really engage Karen in a deep conversation. I turned to her and said, "I've always wondered, as women, if the children we have shape our personalities. Do you think that you turn out differently if you just have girls, just have boys, or have some of each?" I thought for sure this would start a long and deep conversation. She sat thoughtfully for several minutes, then turned to me and said, "Well, just having boys, you sure learn a lot about football."

Bops and Harley

Spoonerism: Function: noun
Etymology: William A. Spooner, died 1930, English clergyman & educator: a transposition of usually initial sounds of two or more words (as in tons of soil for sons of toil)

I do this so often that when I try to tell someone something that I said backwards, I will actually say it THE CORRECT WAY. I think I'm going to start writing them down. The latest one that I remember was when my rowdy new kitten was about to attack my feeble old cat and I yelled, "Don't you futchin' tuck him!" That one was a little more complicated than just switching the first sounds of the words - I actually switched the second sounds. Or middle? The only reason I bring this up, is because I always thought it was a mental glitch between my thought and my speech. Not so. The other day I had a spoonerism THOUGHT. I seriously did not know that was possible. I've always assumed it was a speech problem. Well, what happened was, I had had quite a few beers and when I peed it was, uhm, well rather rich smelling and I thought to myself, "Wow, smells like bops and harley." My first reaction was to laugh hysterically. My second thought was "Wow! I had a spoonerism in my THOUGHTS!" and my third reaction was "Damn! Who can I tell?" Because I generally do not discuss bodily functions with anyone except my daughter. Then I remembered I do talk about "Asparapee," which is what I call the weird smelling pee you have after eating asparagus. I also discuss peeing with airline employees as in "I really need an aisle seat because I WILL HAVE TO PEE." A LOT. On a three hour flight I will pee TWICE. I wish I had a video of myself, when stuck at a window seat, madly barreling past (over? through?) two sleeping seatmates. I will not be denied. Okay, that's probably the last time I will ever mention peeing on this blog. My next backwards thought came a few days later. I had sprayed X-14 in my shower. You're supposed to let it stand, but not too long as it can cause your caulk to break down. I was running around trying to finish up chores when I had that nagging thought in my head: What is it I'm supposed to be doing? Then I thought, "Oh yeah, I have to go rinse the X-Files."

Oh, Those Funny Celebs

EVERYTHING about this is funny, I have nothing to add. (from IMDB):

Singer Aaron Carter is engaged to Playboy Playmate Kari Ann Peniche, who previously dated his brother Nick. The 18-year-old proposed to Peniche on Saturday in Las Vegas, Nevada, while they were onstage in front of 200 people during the Playboy Comedy Tour at the Palms Casino Resort. She tells American publication People, "I'm very excited about it. Aaron is the most genuine person I know. He's kind, loving, and I love him so much." Peniche, 22, says she was shocked when Carter popped the question adding, "I had no idea he was going to do this, but I'm glad he did. I don't remember it happening. It was such a blur." The couple, who plan to wed in the next six months, hugged and kissed after Peniche accepted the proposal. Playboy tour producer and comedian Cort McCown says, "He said he was going to do it, but we thought he was kidding. He was really nervous." Peniche was named Miss Teen USA in 2003, but had to relinquish her title after posing for Playboy. Carter is set to star in a new reality show about his family, House Of Carters, which premieres next month on the American E! network

TV Talk

For several years there have been lots of editorials, articles, etc., on the "death of the TV sitcom." I say the sitcom is not dead. I say it is lonely. And by lonely I mean, well alone. Okay what I mean by this is a sitcom is a 30 minute show so it has to be paired with another 30 minute show and the networks pair the good sitcoms like "My Name is Earl," "The New Adventures of Old Christine," and "Scrubs" (all very good and very much "alive") with stuff I just don't want to watch. So then you have the dilemma of how to fill a random 30 minute segment of your TV night. If the sitcom you like comes on at the top of the hour, what do you do after that? Turn over to the last half of "Bizarre Secrets of the Pyramids?" And what if the sitcom starts at the bottom of the hour? Then you can either plan to just watch the first half of "When Dinosaurs Attacked" while you constantly glance at the clock so you don't forget to change the channel, or you can watch a 30 minute segment of some old movie you've already seen while you constantly glance at the clock so you don't forget to change the channel. Why can't they ever find two good shows to put together? Well, that's why I don't watch sitcoms anymore. It was too complicated.

The New Fall Season: I'm going to rate the new shows we try on a 1 star to 5 star scale. Tonight the only new show we tried was "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." 5 stars - a really engaging and entertaining show
Tomorrow night the only new show we planned to watch is "Smith," but we have dinner plans so I will not be able to rate it until later in the week. Also I should mention "Standoff" which kicked off a few weeks earlier. I would have given it 5 stars until I saw "Studio 60," so I will go with "Standoff" - 4 1/2 stars

The Absentminded Confessor

I'm going to confess to all the really goofy (stupid? dangerous?) stuff I did on Wednesday during and after my Wednesday Meals on Wheels route. I don't know if my moon was in the seventh house and Jupiter aligned with Mars, or it's the hormones that Dr. Safely (yes, that's his real name - or at least the name he uses professionally) recently started me on, but I was TOTALLY absentminded on Wednesday. I'll list them in chronological order:

1: I drove right by the neighborhood of my first stop and had to turn around and go back. I attempted this by suddenly turning right into what seemed to be an opening into a parking lot. Then I noticed the barricade thing. I could get through but I would have to back up a bit and edge a little more to the right. I had to back up onto a very busy street. It wasn't good. You'd think this would have made my brain a little more alert for future endeavors, but that was not to be.

2: I turned left on a double left turn and I was in the right left turn lane and pulled into the left one! And there was a guy in the left left turn lane!! I was glad that A) I didn't get in a wreck and B) That guy did not have a gun. I NEVER do that, so I honestly don't know what happened there. And it's a turn I've taken every Wednesday for YEARS!

3: I zoned out at another left and when I looked at the light I had the green left turn arrow and it turned YELLOW!! I went for it and was SO glad that no one was behind me. On the other hand, if someone HAD been behind me, they could have honked and I wouldn't have sat through the whole green arrow. Again, this is not something I would normally do. I usually watch lights like a cat watches a bird.

4: I stopped at Petco to get a larger scratch post, one of those cardboard scratchy boards, some toy mice and another package of Sticky Paws. As I was leaving Petco carrying the cardboard scratcher thing and my bag, the girl yelled, "Ma'am? Ma'am? are you going to come back for this?" Yep I left the very large scratch post on the counter. I turned around and about 5 people were looking at me. Not good.

5: I went straight to the grocery store from there. I'm okay for what I call drive-by shopping. That means I run in and get about 7 items and run out (I do stop and pay, of course). Well I called My Sweetie as soon as I walked in and asked if he had bought milk the other day. He said no and would I get a loaf of bread. Yeah you can see this one coming. I bought the few things on my brain list and nothing else. No bread.

So now that I confessed about my stupid Wednesday, I can move on to HOW LAZY I AM.

Rufus, our new kitty, has a lot of energy. We would generally exercise him by running around the house dragging his favorite thing: the belt from an old green terry bathrobe. Rufus is very young and has lots of energy. We are not and do not. Well, one of My Sweetie's vendors gave him a laser pointer pen with a clock in it (because, you know, you NEED to know what time it is when you are making red dots on the wall). Now we can exercise Rufus while sitting on the couch. He loves it!! We think he knows we are doing it because when we are in the living room, he will stand there on the wood walkway and stare at the wall, waiting for the red dot. On the other hand, when we are NOT in the living room, we don't know what he's doing in there, so it's not a very scientific theory. Exercising my cat while sitting on the couch made me think about how lazy I can be and I thought, "I'm such a couch potato, if I wanted to kill myself, I'd have to commit herbicide."

Do All Dogs Go To Heaven?

I have to preface this post by saying that we are not racing or Nascar people. In that context, what My Sweetie said the other night is even funnier.

You know how people talk to toddlers in that sing-song way and keep asking something over and over? Like when a gift is given and they keep saying "What do you say? What do you say? Bart! What do you say?"

Saturday night, my brother-in-law the fireman made his specialty dish for the family at the Parents-in-law's house. He makes this killer crab boil dish in a giant pot over an open gas flame (I think it's a turkey fryer set-up). It's a killer meal. He uses red potatoes, corn on the cob halves, sausage, shrimp and crab legs. It is really great. We ALWAYS do it in April for a three-way birthday celebration and then at random other times. I think the reason for this one was that there was a crab-leg special. And those things were HUGE.

Anyway, we were all stuffing our faces and oohing and aahing when my Mother-in-law started asking Adam (who will be 3 in October), "Where's Boompa?" At first I was thinking, "Okay, now she's really lost it." I found out later that Boompa is what the older grandkids called my M-I-L's dad (he died in 2002). Anyway, she kept on and on with "Where's Boompa? Where's Boompa?" until someone with less patience than me jumped in and told him "Heaven." So now she started with, "Who's in heaven with Boompa? Who's in heaven with Boompa?" over and over again. I thought the correct answer was God, but I didn't feel like I was a contestant in this game. So My Sweetie suddenly says "Dale Earnhardt." Man I laughed so hard. I am SO glad I did not have food in my mouth. I laughed so hard, I started to get a coughing fit. I made myself stop. quickly finished my meal, ran outside and laughed and laughed. I can't imagine any more random answer than that. The funny thing was the "correct" answer was Shorty, their old dog. Who would have thought? Now that I think about it, Dale Earnhard seems like a more logical answer.

Oh Geez, Striptease

Oh. My. God. I just saw Striptease for the first time. I remember all the hoopla when it came out 10 years ago. The big deal was Demi Moore getting all naked. Oddly, most of the actual critiques of the movie implied it was a serious piece about a woman in bad circumstances trying to win back custody of her daughter. The other big news at the time was that it was Burt Reynolds' big comeback. On all counts I say "Uhm, no."

Yeah, Demi Moore was hot if you like that sort of athletic body with Tour de France cycling thighs. Although I am heterosexual, my personal preference for women's thighs are more along the long, lean ballet dancer look. She was very pretty throughout the film, but what was the big deal about the nudity? We've seen nearly all the big women stars naked. Hell, even Hellen Mirren was probably naked in something. I mean I've even seen Nicole Kidman's boobs and she is one of the highest paid actresses out there.

As for Burt Reynolds doing some big thing: Yeah I didn't see it. Maybe the fact that he was finally hired and wasn't playing a womanizing (oh wait he was), know-it-all (oh wait he was), smartass (uhm, he was), hot young stud (yeah he was SO NOT playing that) was a big deal at the time, but he wasn't even CLOSE to the level of performance of his role in Boogie Nights. I'd say THAT was his big comeback.

I had a bad feeling when the opening credits started and they looked like credits from a bad late 70's TV movie. IMDB lists this movie as a Comedy / Drama / Crime / Thriller . Okay I laughed once when I was supposed to: at something Ving Rhames said - and I already forgot what it was. I did laugh a lot AT the movie though. Drama? Not so much. Crime? Yeah, there was lots of that (and I'm not even counting this movie being made). Thriller? Uhm, again, not so much. The redneck/comic relief characters played by Robert Patrick and Siobhan Fallon were particularly painful to watch. If you weren't paying attention you might think someone had changed the channel during their scenes. PLUS they had Robert Patrick doing the "comedy" part and the "thriller" part. How stupid is that. How scary can a guy be that was doing slapstick?

And why was Armand Assante supposed to be Hispanic? That was just silly. Speaking of silly: Why would Demi Moore let her daughter Rumer be in this movie? I can just picture this conversation: "You get to be in a MOVIE! But you can never ever watch it!" And you know that even though she is now 18, she can't/doesn't want to watch this movie. I mean who wants to watch their mom as a naked stripper? How weird is that?

I also don't understand why, with all the publicity at the time, that Ving Rhames wasn't even mentioned. He's the only good thing in the movie. Okay I should take that back. Rumer did a great job, and I bet the soundtrack is KILLER. I DID like the music. I guess the stupidest part is I just spent all this time talking about a movie that I thought was goofy as hell.

Oh and I also saw The Phantom of the Opera today. Uhm.

Uhm.

Oh yeah, I loved the songs! That's the magic of the music of the night all right.

On The Whole Tom Cruise Thing

Sometimes you read an article that perfectly articulates what you were thinking. This one, written by Caryn James for The New York Times is of those:

http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/08/24/features/celeb.php

The parts that really stand out to me are:



"The essence of Cruise's appeal going all the way back to "Risky Business" and on through crowd-pleasers like "Jerry Maguire" was a fresh-faced, unpretentious exuberance, a glee that practically leapt off the screen and that even worked in unlikely roles like the outraged, paraplegic Vietnam veteran in "Born on the Fourth of July."

and:


"But in the past year his life has become a public relations debacle as he has gone into full Scientology mode, and he has come to seem self-righteous and intolerant (most conspicuously in his confrontation with host Matt Lauer on the NBC television news show "Today" about prescription drugs).
He now seems too strange and remote for the average moviegoer to relate to.
This summer a Forbes magazine list named Cruise as its most powerful celebrity, but that calculation was based on income and media presence, obviously not on common sense.
While Cruise's last two movies have done well around the world, he wasn't the only - and maybe not the main - reason for their success. This year's Cruise film, "Mission: Impossible III," is part of a self-propelled franchise; last year's, "War of the Worlds," was a Steven Spielberg movie. The roles did not demand much, and Cruise seemed to coast through them, assuming the audience would coast with him.
Today's Tom Cruise is the opposite of a Teflon celebrity; he can't seem to get anything right, not even baby pictures. While Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie expertly and quickly stage-managed the sale (for charity no less) of the baby snaps of their daughter, Shiloh, Cruise and Katie Holmes have been secretive and elusive about their 4-month-old daughter, Suri. There are reports that Annie Leibovitz has photographed Suri for Vanity Fair magazine, but no pictures have arrived yet.
And into the void comes more tantalizing gossip, including a widely circulated report from a British tabloid that David and Victoria Beckham were invited to see Suri but were forbidden to use baby talk because Scientologists think goo-gooing is bad for babies. True or not, a report like that alienates fans.
Such distance isn't necessary. John Travolta may fly his own jet, but he creates the impression of remembering where he came from. More instructive, when he is asked about his devotion to Scientology, he explains patiently and good-naturedly, without antagonizing anyone.
But Cruise has done so much damage to his image that his camp's best efforts at spin now seem hollow. When word filtered out that the entity known as TomKat had stopped on the road to aid at the scene of an accident recently (OK, they just stopped and waited until the police arrived), the incident invited speculation about how carefully orchestrated that little news item might have been. The same could be said of reminders that Cruise had, conveniently enough, helped stop a mugging in 1998 and had rescued a family at sea in '96, as if he were a volunteer action-hero.
Before "Collateral," he hadn't challenged himself as an actor since 1999, when he played a ponytailed self-help guru who does television infomercials in the daring Paul Thomas Anderson ensemble film "Magnolia." It was a role that may have cut too close, revealing how illusory a celebrity's public image is.
These days, he is like a charlatan who can't manage to dupe anybody. He seems desperate to maintain his stature as one of the world's biggest movie stars, even as he morphs into something no movie star can afford to be: a guy you wouldn't want to know."

More Funny Spam Titles

I've been collecting spam in a special folder for a while because some of the subject lines really crack me up. I've decided to try to break them up into categories.


These are just worded really oddly:

Enjoy the newest Have you ever wished to have more intense final?
(It sounds like they are discussing school exams in a whole new way.)
But now I can penetrate hardly and give the pleasure to every woman!
(So if he can hardly penetrate, where's the pleasure coming from?)
Feel Pleasure from Act while others wait!
(Now with this one I'm picturing a room full of bored people waiting on the one person having fun by themself.)
New and hot Have you ever dreamt to have a very hard penis during all process?
(I just love the "during all process" part!)
It is absolutely safety for your health!
(Okay this one is just bad grammar)

Things Yoda Might Say:

Hot and new Every man wants it Take pleasure from
Discover the latest It will be great Delight in
The newest Surely you only dream of it Take pleasure from
Hot'n'new I think, yes. Enjoy
Never-seen I am sure it was Feel Pleasure from

But now for my very favorite:

I felt it myself when my girlfriend had left me!

Ever So Goofy, There's No Place Like Home

Whoa, August has been a blur of heat and stuff happening. That may look like an ad, but it's an actual polaroid picture with all that Bud stuff pre-printed on it. We were at olivertwist Saturday night (I think, I mean I think it was Saturday) and some Bud people took our picture for no reason. I flew in on Wednesday. The funeral was Friday. I left on Monday. It was a nice ceremony for my grandmother. The speaker was a retired minister from back when my grandmother still attended church there. It was VERY obvious that he knew her well. I was impressed by that. I've been to funerals that seemed kind of impersonal and generic. I saw cousins that I had not seen since the 70's. The funniest was my cousin Vicky. Mom had told me she wasn't coming (from Wilmington) because she had been missing for some time. Apparently she is a crazy crackhead (a 49-year-old one!) and disappears for weeks at a time. Well not only did she show up, but she was wearing a dress she must have stolen right out of the wardrobe department of Big_Love/ . Seriously she looked like an Amish woman from 1963. It was very weird. My favorite nephew was there and he was too cute. He stood by me at the cemetery. He'll be 18 in October. Unfortunately he is my brother's son and I don't care for my brother. Oooh, and my brother came up and hugged me. Yuck City. There was no gathering after the cemetery part. My Aunt Ann lives near there, but when I asked her if people were going to her house afterwards, she just said, "I don't know." I did not consider that an invitation. Lolo and I had to pee like mad monkeys at that point and stopped at the first place we could find. It was a Mexican restaurant there in Raleigh. We went to the bar for some beers and although we told them we would not be eating, they served us chips and salsa. Oddly enough, it was some of the best salsa I have ever had. Very fresh and homemade. Lots of cilantro and garlic and a good spicy bite without burning your tongue so bad you couldn't really savor the flavors.

On Sunday I saw an old friend that I've known since junior high school. His band did the closing credit song for the Joaquin Phoenix and Vince Vaughn movie Clay Pigeons/ . The song was "Clay Pigeons (The Ballad Of Lester Long)." He's a really cool and really sweet guy. On Monday I saw my bestest bestest guy friend Bill. We had lunch and he told me the funniest joke. I can't tell it here because it is totally an aural joke. I had a great time seeing old family, hanging out with Lolo and spending some time with old friends.

It was nice being back on my Meals on Wheels route today. Also today was my daughter's 22nd birthday. My Sweetie, Kate and my parents (who are temporarily back from their NC retirement/vacation place) all met at a great small Italian restaurant for Kate's birthday dinner. It's really hard to believe that my daughter is 22.

I'm in a cleaning/purging mood and want to seriously de-clutter the house. The next charity group that calls about a pick-up will be thrilled when I say, "Yes! I will have many items!"

Oh and it was actually UNDER 100 degrees today. Woo Hoo! So anyway, I'm back and am ready to get back into my groove and hopefully make an attempt at filling the unforgiving minute.

(wink)

I May Never Catch Up

I was getting around to part two of my July North Carolina beach trip and things kept popping up. On Sunday (the 13th), my grandmother who has been wasting away for quite some time, finally passed on to the other side. So, here I am heading back to North Carolina. Although Grandmother was in a nursing home in Wilmington, her original home base was Raleigh, so that's where the funeral will be. It's not a big sad thing because she was 95 and had no "quality of life" for many years. I'm really looking forward to seeing some of my cousins that I have not seen in decades. I'll be there tomorrow (Wednesday) at 5:00. Lolo is going to pick me up and I will be staying with her until Monday. I'm glad we will get to spend more time together since our time was cut short on the last trip because she had a last minute business trip.

I AM dreading flying with all the new restrictions. I've always taken a backpack as my one carry-on, but I don't want to deal with having it searched. This trip I am taking my tiny "date purse." That means I have to put EVERYTHING ELSE in my suitcase. I narrowed the "have to carry on" list to: medicine, jewelry, wallet, kleenex, smokes (yes having to fly has me smoking again) and cell phone. It will all fit into my lovely little purse that I bought in San Diego. I just feel like I will forget something because I have been packing the same for so many years. And now I have to deal with splitting up all the things I used to throw in the backpack. Of course, on the bright side (and I ALWAYS look there), I won't have to trudge around with a heavy backpack on my shoulder. My date purse is one of those that you wear across your chest, so there is no shoulder slippage or anything. You don't even have to think about it. I will probably have the feeling I am forgetting something all day tomorrow.

I'm off in the morning, and Lolo does not have internet at home, so again, I will be missing out on my blog reading, APOD, etc. I seriously plan to catch up on my tales when I get back. But, I think I always say that. I guess I NEVER will fill that unforgiving minute.

The New Normal?

Wow. I've been so out of sorts for so long, it's hard to even remember what normal feels like. On top of being so sick, I don't think August has EVER been my best month. With that out of the way, I want to do some catching up:

This is a Google Earth picture of the spot on the beach where Lolo and I sat for hours on Saturday, July 22nd. The longer arrow points to our spot on the beach. The shorter arrow to Buddy's bar, and the lone red spot to where we parked (and we shouldn't have, but we got away with it). The weird thing about this satellite picture is that it was taken in the middle of winter with snow on the ground. The odds that the satellite people happened to pick a day to photograph this site when there was snow on the ground seem very slim. But it is what it is. And what it is is Topsail Island in North Carolina.

The flight out of DFW was uneventful, which means everything was good. The quick stopover in Charlotte, NC was just long enough to hit the bathroom and hit the bar for one beer and one cigarette. And may I say thank you to the Charlotte airport for having smoking bars (DFW does not). The quickie hop from Charlotte to Wilmington did not start out well. Some fratty-looking guy was in my seat and the flight attendant didn't seem to care and just told me to find a seat. I got VERY lucky and ended up next to a guy on the emergency exit row (aaaaah stretch those legs out!) and he was not only friendly, but laughed at EVERY joke I made. I told him that he could do the physical removal of the exit door and I would tell everybody what to do (in case of emergency). Well then they said no beverage service, but it really was a very quick flight. I almost tumbled head first out of the plane, because I was not expecting a ladder to the ground. It was really funny to me at the time. Mom was RIGHT THERE when I stepped into the terminal. It's been years since anyone has met me at a gate. I didn't even think that was legal.

Mom had cold beer for me in the car and I was certainly ready for one. The ride wasn't too long. Of course she was pointing out all sorts of stuff to me (like "that's the road to your Aunt Shirley's house") that I knew I'd never remember. We finally got to the campground and pulled up to their camper and of course it had the nicest "yard" around. I dropped my suitcase inside and looked around and then we sat on the screen porch and yakked away. I called Lolo when I first got there and she was just leaving Raliegh. Mom started getting antsy about eating so I said, "Let's go to the beach and get an appetizer." Well somehow time passed in a blur and Lolo called for close in directions and somehow got there before we got back. I felt bad that we weren't there to welcome her. It was weird getting back to the camper and Lolo is sitting on the screen porch! More yakking ensued. We went back to the same place we had been for dinner. It's actually on that map up there. The building just to the right of Buddy's.

On Saturday, Mom left to make her every-other-day trek to the nursing home, and Lolo and I went to the beach. We had GREAT weather. The hours just flew by. We didn't realize how late it was until we got to the car. We were meeting Lolo's friend Angela in Wilmington for dinner. We got ready as quickly as possible and headed out. Mapquest didn't mention that we were to take business 17, so we stayed on 17 and got a little lost. A quick phone call fixed all that and we finally ended up here: http://www.indochinewilmington.com/index.html There were six of us altogether. Afterwards the three girls went to a Dave & Buster's type place. And then to Angela's house. Somehow we made it back to the campground. Unfortunately it rained steadily all day on Sunday, but we did eventually make it out to Rick's http://www.eatatricks.com/ where the three of us pigged out on crab legs. Poor Lolo was driving and it began to pour on the way home from the restaurant. Between the pouring rain and my Mom serving as navigator, well I was just glad I had lots of beer.

Monday was Lolo's day to head back to Raliegh, and Mom went to the nursing home. They both left before noon. I watched my soap (well mostly listened to it - the reception was awful) then spent most of the afternoon trying to get a signal on Mom's wireless laptop. It was very cozy out on the screened-in porch with the stereo playing and lots of cold beer. About mid-afternoon I realized I had not seen Mom's cat Maxie all day. I went into the camper and looked everywhere. The camper is not THAT big, so I thought I would find the cat right away, but I didn't. I remembered that Mom does let him out, so I kept an eye out for him, but sort of forgot about him. Around 4:30 or so, Mom drove up and retrieved a cat bed from her trunk. She said she kept forgetting to get it out. I said, "Well I don't know if you'll need it. You don't seem to have a cat anymore." I then told her how I had noticed the cat missing andhad looked everywhere. She said, "Do you suppose when you closed the sleeper sofa, he was under it?" I couldn't see how there was enough space in there and it seems he would have yelped or something when I closed it. Besides that was about 7 hours ago at this point. We were sitting on the screen porch and she was telling me about her visit to the nursing home and I just jumped up and said, "I have to check the couch!" I ran in with Mom on my heels and we started pulling off the seat cushions and we both heard a small cry. I tipped the bedding part up and there he was. Maxie was NOT a happy camper. At least he wasn't broken. We still can't figure out how he even fit under there with the couch folded up. He must have been as flat as a pancake!

On Tuesday we blundered onto a set for "One Tree Hill" and met with VERY OLD friends. I'll cover that next time.

Time Flies When You Feel Like Roadkill

I thought the reason I was so sluggish during July was that I had a super case of my normal "Summer Sloth." I thought the reason I was wheezing was that I REALLY REALLY needed to stop smoking. I thought I somehow might have gotten a urinary tract infection from the water in my Mom's camper that we weren't supposed to drink or brush our teeth with. I thought my extreme allergy symptoms were from spending a week in 90 degree very moist air and then coming home to 104 degree very dry air. I was wrong about everything.

I contracted what is considered a "rare disease" called Strep B. By "rare" they mean that about 200,000 Americans contract it a year. The vast majority are newborn babies (which I am not) and very old people with compromised immune systems (also not). Guess what the other (tiny) group is? Women who have had gynecological surgery - and this isn't even mentioned on some websites! Yep. That would be me. I had a uterine biopsy on June 27th. So I was just cruising around in the heat all this time growing this very special bacteria which can cause sepsis and meningitis. Because it is such a rare disease and mostly applies to newborns, it took quite a bit of internet research to find much about it. Well anything not just about newborn babies. I'm glad my doctor ran that culture.

So basically I've been sick as a dog since I got back from my trip. It's actually kind of funny that I thought I had three unrelated things wrong with me at the same time, but I'm weird like that. I did choose this time to stop smoking for once and for all though. Not because I'm smart, but because I've barely been able to breathe for several days. It really made me realize how much more I enjoy breathing than smoking. And when you are lying on the couch in a fevered fog, you are not so much thinking about your next cigarette. Beer, yes: cigarettes, no.

I've had two days of very strong antibiotics now and am starting to feel somewhat alive again. Capacity-wise, I'd say I'm at 45% normal. Hopefully I will be at full function soon and can tell my beach stories. Or maybe by then, I'll be on to something else.

I'm Off!

Well I'm off to the North Carolina coast in just 9 1/2 hours. I'm gonna miss reading blogs and TVgasm and other related internet doodads. My Mom does have a wireless laptop connection so I may be able to check out a few things although she says it is horribly slow. I hope to have lots of fun. And now I REALLY REALLY need to get some sleep!

A Moment of Silence (Before We Weep)

I got this e-mail the other day:

Dear Valued Customer!
Thanks for doing your shopping online at Albertsons.com. In an effort to focus our attention on our in-store shopping experience, this service will no longer be available in your area as of July 21st. We're sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you.
Although we'll be discontinuing this service, we want you to know that Albertsons values your loyalty. We understand that grocery shopping is just one of the many things you need to accomplish in your day. That's why we're committed to providing you with clean stores, fresh products and superior customer service.In short, the best shopping experience possible.We hope to see you in your local Albertsons store soon!
Albertsons, LLC
New Ideas at Work

I love that line "We're sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you." They have no idea. Grocery stores are HELL for me. Sometimes I'm okay if it's just a few items and I'm on my way home from Meals on Wheels, but in general, not so much. Usually after spending 3 hours "getting ready" to go to the grocery store, when I finally get there I am okay at first. Invariably I reach critical mass and a little sing-song voice in my head starts up with "I want to get out of here!" which plays over and over, usually with a little chorus of "I want to go home, I want to go home." I've even caught myself singing it out loud. Many times I've come very close to abandoning my cart and just running out of the store. Sometimes I just get very close to the breaking point and realize I need something on the other side of the store and I just can't seem to make it over there and just decide I don't need it. It's like trying to wade through a bog. Inconvenience? Ah, hell no, just a MAJOR crimp in my life. My Sweetie, who knows me so well, has tried to reassure me and said he would take me on the weekends, but then I feel bad because he works all week.

Saturday evening we made a short run to Tom Thumb and as we were getting close to check-out time he asked me if I wanted to wait in the car (I usually say yes) but I said, "No, I'm okay." I made it through the trip and we are pretty well stocked for a while. I'll be mourning the loss of having my groceries delivered for a while, but I will just have to get over it. I guess grocery shopping can become part of my Wednesdays out, but that may make me dread Wednesdays. In any event, it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I think, for now, I'll just concentrate on my trip to North Carolina and seeing my beloved Atlantic Ocean. Aaahhh, I can almost hear the surf and the seagulls.

Hollywood's Happy Couples

I usually wash my sheets every Monday, but on July 3rd, I thought I'd wait one more day. I knew my Sweetie would be home on the 4th and I had wanted to flip and turn the mattress for some time. Also, I figured this would be a good time to remove both mattresses and vacuum under the bed. I'm ashamed to say this but we have not done this in the 5 years since we've lived here. AND we have three cats. I was dreading what we would find. I imagined gross dried old hairballs and such. What I did NOT expect to find was a 1998 People Magazine. I can't for the life of me figure out how it got there. Not only that, but it was not from the last place we lived, it was from THE ONE BEFORE THAT! I seriously can't imagine how it survived two moves and ended up under my bed. But enough about that. The cover really floored me.

I don't know how clearly the picture is going to show up, but I'm sure you can see the headline and the line beneath it and the main picture. "Stars Who Beat The Odds and Make Love Last." That really kills me. Not one of the three couples are still together. In case you can't see the couples on the bottom right corner, they are (from left to right): Brooke Shields and Andre Agassi and Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. We know Tom and Nicole are being cool for their kids. I imagine Brooke and Andre are still friends or at least not enemies, but Baldwin and Basinger freaking HATE each other! That quote from Tom & Nicole: "We will be on our honeymoon the rest of our lives" is not exactly false. I guess they are - just not with each other.

I just wonder why they picked these three couples for their cover. Inside, for the story, they also feature Steven Spileberg & Kate Capshaw, Harry Connick & Jill Goodacre and Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson along with several other couples that (as far as I know) are still very happily married. Of course they also feature Ted Turner & Jane Fonda and Harrison Ford & Melissa Mathison.

Here are some quotes: Kim Basinger says about Baldwin, "He trusts me to the ends of the world and I trust him." Brooke Shields on Agassi, "He was more important to me, ultimately, than anything else."

As for the"Weddings of the Year!" section featured in the top right corner, that's Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber, who are still together. Inside the magazine, the only "wedding of the year" couple that jumped out at me was Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke. Not together.

Everyone (well except Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston, who went around saying stuff like, "Well we'll just see where this adventure takes us.") expects to be married forever. I'm really the last person who should say anything about these couples since I've been divorced twice. At least I was lucky enough to go through my divorces in private. If it ever comes up though, I will NOT make any grandiose pronouncements about the state of or future of my marriage to ANYONE. But I CAN say that My Sweetie and I will never get divorced. Hee hee hee. No, seriously. But that's off the record.

Going to the Beach. . .

I'm really looking forward to my beach trip and I think Mom is just excited as I am. She called today and we went over important details like does she have a large ice chest? Check. Does she have a small ice chest? Check. I told her I was bringing a bunch of movies and her reply was a less than enthusiastic "Oh, okay." I know she probably could, but I can't converse all day long for several days in a row. And they don't have cable. Besides, I think watching movies with someone is a good basic way to create a shared experience. I guess we'll see how that goes when I get there. She really is more of a walk around person and I'm more of a sit around person, so I guess I'm just going to do a little more moving around - which is what I would do if I were in Vegas or New Orleans or wherever. Well except Hawaii. Hawaii was a lot of very pleasant balcony sitting around. But I digress. The trip is almost just a week and a half away, and I'm pretty excited. They've had their trees and bushes put in and she can't wait for me to see them.

Biopsy Results? The phone rang this afternoon: "Hi, I'm Nurse Confusing. Your lab results came back negative. We need to make an appointment so you can discuss treatment options." I said, "Treatment for what? Didn't you say negative? Doesn't negative mean I DON'T have cancer?" I could hear her shuffling papers and she confirmed the tests were negative, but she wanted me to make an appointment. So, I'm pretty sure I don't have cancer. I thought the whole thing was pretty weird. My appointment is not until the middle of August, so I will tell the doctor about her phone manner.

Life's a Beach!

I'm pretty excited. In a few hours short of two weeks from now I will be in North Carolina, about 7 miles from the beach. My Mom and Step-Dad have parked their pull-out fifth wheel at a permanent spot down there. My Step-Dad is coming back for several weeks to do some work, so I'm going to go down and stay with Mom for a week. My very best friend, Lolo, is going to take a long weekend to visit with me for the first 3 or 4 days, and I think my friend Kim may visit after that. I'll have to write down all my favorite blogs because I have them on bookmark here. Also, I don't even know my password for my own blog, so I guess I'll have to figure that out if I want to post from my Mom's computer. I'm terrible with passwords. I once had the password "chair" on a website because that's the first thing I bought from them. I've been trying to be more consistent, and maybe my blogspot password is the one I've been using lately. I don't even know how to find out except trying to get on it from another computer.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to seeing, smelling and hearing the ocean. I LOVE the ocean. Not so much getting into the ocean, more seeing, smelling and hearing than FEELING. And I'm looking forward to some great seafood. The only negative aspect of the trip is having to visit my grandmother. I mentioned her on this_.post . She is doing poorly and is not a very pleasant person. I realize that I would not exist if she didn't exist, but I never liked her. I was a bed wetter as a child and when I had to stay with her she made me wear diapers at bedtime. And I'm sure it didn't help that Granny (my paternal grandmother) spoiled the hell out of her 4 grandkids. The comparison between the two was like night and day. Plus with Grandma I was just one of - okay I have no idea, but my guess is - 15 grandkids. With Granny (to use a Star Trek term) I was "Three of Four." I really miss Granny. She was so cool. She introduced me to some great books. And we used to love watching "Perry Mason" together.

So less than two weeks and all I have to do is get my hair colored and buy some beachwear. I'm getting my hair done Wednesday after Meals on Wheels. I have no idea when or even from where the beachwear will be purchased. I guess I should figure that out.

TV Stuff: The first Big Brother was GREAT! I'm really looking forward to all the killer backstabbing and plotting. I wasn't expecting such an intense first episode. Also the season opener of Monk was good, but my new favorite summer show is "Psych." We really enjoyed it. It was odd that I had read good and bad reviews and kinda felt like I would like it based on the premise but it was even better than I thought. It airs Fridays at 10:00 E / 9:00 C. It is fun stuff. Yay finally some good summer television!

Oh and in two weeks, I'm going to the beach. Double Yay!

Invasion of the Sticky Paws

I finally got the pictures developed of Rufus. In the first picture he is lying on the hassock that was intended for the cats (and the other cats enjoyed lying on it and looking out the window) but Rufus decided it was also a scratch post, so I replaced it with The Castle. In the 3rd frame he is on top of one of the library shelves. He's not allowed up there anymore, but he was spoiled when he was new. That painting is a painting of my Dad that his friend Henrik Ravn (a Dane) painted when they were working in the Dominican Republic together back in '72. Dad said they would hang out every night and drink and talk. Dad imagined that canvas must be about 1/4 inch thick because Henrik just kept painting over and over it. Oh and that's Lilly's rump peeking out of the inside of the castle.

Speaking of Rufus, I discovered the joys of stickypaws . My best friend, Lolo, told me about this product and now, thanks to Rufus, Sticky Paws is starting to take over my house. It seems like every couple of days I'm putting a new strip someplace. I've always bragged about how easy it is to train a cat to use a scratch post. Now, I'm eating crow. Lilly really spoiled me for cats. She is a VERY good cat. I trained Rufus the same way I trained Lilly and he DOES use the one scratch post, but he's not into exclusivity. So every time I catch him having a go at a piece of furniture I jump up and grab the Sticky Paws. He's also a paper chewer, which drives me crazy. He'd go crazy if he were allowed in the bathroom with all the bits of stripped wallpaper on the floor.

Speaking of wallpaper, it is slow going, but it's going. I did a goofy little drawing on artpad to show my progress. It's here: http://artpad.art.com/?j1tber8n55o I've never linked to artpad before, so I hope it works. As you can see - if it works - I am no architect. It's not straight or to scale. The two "done" sections are completely done from floor to ceiling, although there are several other areas that are at least half stripped. I should scan a piece of the wallpaper just to show how freaking hideous it is, but I can't tonight because My Sweetie is asleep and I don't want to go in there. It sure felt good today to have those two sections totally cleared. I won't be doing any more until Thursday. Monday I'm going to make quiches - for some reason, that's an all-day affair. Tuesday (the 4th!) will be a fun day with My Sweetie and Wednesday of course is Meals on Wheels day.

I'm looking forward to a bunch of TV shows coming up: "Big Brother All-Stars," "Monk," and the new show "Psych." The only fresh programming we are currently watching are "Meercat Manor," "The 4400," and "The Dead Zone." We like "Rescue Me," but always forget to watch it. We watch a lot of "Frasier" on DVD. And every 3 days or so we get our Netflix movie. We just watched Omega Man. I forgot how dated it looked, but it's still fun.

Happy 4th of July and make your own fun fireworks here: http://www.maylin.net/Fireworks.html

Catching up AGAIN

A cool thing happened today. I had sent a photo entry in to tvgasm.com. The contest was for numbers for them to use for their countdown to "Big Brother 7". I sent the picture I had used from this_post . Well they used it for the 11 days. It's here: http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/big_brother/002341.php
And I won a prize. Announcer voice: "It's a brand new car!!" No. I won a T-shirt. But I think that is so cool. I've always been lucky at winning things like T-shirts. Actually, I think I was more thrilled about getting an e-mail from one of the TVgasm writers (madeyoulaugh).

I finally decided to tackle the monstrosity that is the wallpaper in my master bath. Since I don't have a deadline this time (I wanted to have the other bathroom done for a visit from My Sweetie's Grandmother) and it is the MASTER bath, which means no one ever has to see/use it besides us, I believe this project will be relatively stress-free. I've already had a glass guy take the giant mirrors down, so now it's just down to the actual wallpaper stripping. I do not enjoy this task, but I'm getting it done. Also we took the horrible shower door out and I'm just going to use a rod and clear shower curtain until I can find the perfect shower door. It's fun to be able to see out of the windows while I'm in the shower.

Tuesday I'm getting a biopsy from my uterus. Or is it "of?" I haven't given it much thought because that's how my mind works. I don't like to think about stuff I don't want to think about. I don't even know why I'm mentioning it here. From what I could find on the internet, it doesn't sound like I have any problems. It's just that they told me the procedure would HURT. They said to take ibuprophen before I go. Yeah, I'm going to take ibuprophen and drink about 12 beers. And if it does hurt after that, I'll drink 12 MORE beers. I thought it was funny that the doctor said it would feel "like bad period cramps." That's how I described being in labor.

I finally got my pictures developed of my new kitty Rufus, so I'm going to post those next time. I'm too lazy to do that tonight.

Mini Movie Review: We saw Diamond_Men last week and I really liked it. It's mostly a character study. If you are a fan of either Robert Forster (Jackie Brown) or Donnie Wahlberg ("Band of Brothers") you will like this movie.

For My Dad

I've been thinking about my Dad a lot lately and I guess it was because Father's Day was approaching, although I didn't really put it together. I've lightly mentioned the fact that he died at his retirement party in October 1998, but I haven't really gone into it. I'm still not really ready to go into that. Suffice it to say it was a horrible experience and it took me quite some time to realize I was suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome from the experience. Basically I sat on the couch and drank beer for a long time afterwards and gained a lot of weight. I already had my anxiety/panic disorder before that and I think some more mental problems were added at that point.

My Dad was a VERY interesting person. He was a GREAT storyteller. I loved his stories from being in the National Guard. I think it's called Army Reserves now, but I'm not sure. He also had great stories from his teenage years. He told heartbreaking stories of his childhood. He had a "distant" dad (My Papa, who died when I was 3 or 4). As Dad told it (and I must have heard this expression a million times) his dad was "a man of few words." To hear it from my Dad, his dad pretty much just didn't speak to him at all. Dad didn't have many stories about his dad - and my Dad was a storyteller, so this told me a lot. The only two stories I can remember are the jail story and the car wreck story. My Dad was thrown in jail for something as a youth and when Dad's friend reported the news to Papa, he said, "I didn't get him in, I won't get him out." The car wreck story was Dad walking into Papa's bedroom, terrified and totally freaking out, and telling him he had just wrecked his brand new car and Papa said, "Well, I'll get another one." Dad said he never even looked up from his newspaper.

Dad was pretty insecure about his looks. He was small and wore thick glasses, but it was the 50's and he was tough and cool. He was friends with a group of guys and they called themselves "The Deadly Six." Dad used to say he met many people years later that said they were one of the Deadly Six. Kinda how EVERYONE says they were at Woodstock. Anyway my Dad somehow managed to woo a beautiful girl, new to their high school - my Mom. This was after all, the birthing ground of Ava Gardner (and my grandmother attended HER birth).

Mom and Dad got married when they were 19 and 17. That was 1955. My brother was born in July of '57 and I came along exactly 3 years and 9 months later, which alway made me think I was conceived on my brother's third birthday. I always imagine my Dad thinking, "Damn, he's THREE already? I'm ready for my next one." Although my brother is the first person I remember from my childhood, my Dad was next. My Mom worked nights and slept during the day so I didn't quite get to know her until later. She hates when I talk about this, but I have no hard feelings and she is my best friend now.

Anyway, Dad was such a fun parent. He taught us all the yard games like kickball, kick-the-can, and "ain't no bears out tonight." He was always the fun neighborhood Dad. Sometimes he would set off a colored smoke bomb on the street (did I say "street?" it was a dirt road) and we would all run through it. He was also the Little League coach and nothing was more fun than riding to an away game stuffed into our '64 Ford convertible with the entire team. Yeah, none of that would be legal now but it was fun at the time.

When my parents' marriage went sour when I was 15, it seemed an obvious choice to live with my Dad. Actually the main reason was I knew it was the only way my Mom could get a clean break. Otherwise Dad would be coming around to visit me all the time. At this time, my big brother was in the Air Force, so it was just me and Dad. It was a big adjustment, but we figured it out. Our favorite thing was Duke basketball and we liked a lot of the same music. At 16 I got a job at Sears, in the record department. My Dad was just downstairs in the Allstate Insurance office. I could just walk over to the escalator well and talk to him. The Allstate booth was between the escalators.

He came home one day and said, "Do you want to go to New York?" I already posted about that here: http://geewits.blogspot.com/2005/09/big-apple.html

Although Dad lived in N.C. and I live in Texas, we saw each other as often as possible. Dad and I would take trips when we could. Our first was to Vegas in 1987. It was a while until our next trip (which was always my fault, he was always offering). But over time we went to the Bahamas (where that picture was taken), Puerta Vallarta, New Orleans, and Lake Tahoe. We also visited back and forth quite often between N.C. and TX, and took a few N.C. beach trips.

I miss my Dad. Happy Father's Day Dad! SQUARE!!!!

The Five Year Itch and Stinky Dirty Rice

We've been in our house for five years now and I am going crazy. There are so many things I want to change and I KNOW it doesn't help that I watch HGTV every day. I did finally get a new light fixture for our "dining" area. We have what is officially called a breakfast nook, but I call it the dinning room, because we don't have a formal dining room. What the realtors call the formal dining room in our house, is our library. Yes, it's just that. Walls of books with two comfy wing chairs. The two big things I really want to change are 1) the floor in the guest bathroom and 2) the walls in the master bath. I am a do-it-yourselfer, but I do not want to deal with unseating and re-seating a toilet (from #1). And as for the walls in the master bath, I have two minor problems. The first is that there are two HUGE mirrors in there so I want to hire people from a glass place to take them down and then to come back later to re-hang them. The second thing is I HATE removing wallpaper, but my friend Kim told me her tried-and-true method, so I hope it works. I still can't believe I have lived with that wallpaper for 5 years! It is some sort of horrible plum color and the print, as far as I can guess is supposed to look like leather(?). How have I let this go for 5 years? The guest bathroom had a giant pastel floral print and I took care of that 3 or 4 years ago. I did a sponge technique (in a robin's egg type blue) and my favorite compliment was that someone thought it was wallpaper. I'm going to do the same thing in my master bath, but a different color. I'm thinking something in a seafoam green.

Meals on Wheels: I did my new route on Wednesday and the oddest part was that I had been to every place before. I had thought there would be a new place or two, but it was all places I had been before. My two original ladies were very glad to see me and that was nice.

So after my cooking slump, I was back on track again and have made some great meals. Well tonight I tried to make dirty rice and it was horrible. When I opened the lid, it didn't smell good, so I tasted it. I asked My Sweetie to taste it and I was watching him and said, "So are we going to order pizza?" And we did. So now I can add dirty rice to the list of things I can not make. And it seemed to stink up the house. We were watching Hitchcock's Saboteur and I asked, "Do you suppose if we ever see this movie again, we will remember this terrible smell?"

A funny Spam title: Never seen working people need this

Hasn't everyone felt at some point like one of the "never seen working people?" I never open spam but it would have been funny if you opened it and in great big letters it said, "TO BE NOTICED!"

I saw Denis Leary, who I adore, on The Late Show with Craig Ferguson (yeah I don't think that's the actual title of the show) and he was showing his DVD's that were out and showed the movie The Pledge and said it was a favorite movie, so we Netflixed it. So now I'm just thinking he is really good friends with Sean Penn who was a producer and the director. Oddly the movie was full of Oscar nominated people and some Oscar winners (from other movies) but it was just odd and the ending was horrible. Not as horrible as my dirty rice, but unpleasant. Maybe just odd. If you want to see a movie that you can't possibly guess the ending, this is the one to see.

According to my calendar, today was the "Queen's birthday (AUS, except W AUS)" That's just funny. Can't everyone just get along?

I've Fallen and I Can't Catch Up

What a looong day. I had a roofer here doing two repairs and an electrician working on our spa pump. And it was 96 or 98 degrees outside. It was HOT. The electrician was in the shade, but I really felt bad for the roofer guy. It seems like he would have just died from heatstroke. I almost passed out working in the yard on Sunday. It's just really freaking hot.

Meals on Wheels update: About 3 posts ago I mentioned I didn't have my two ladies that I've had since the first day. This past Wednesday, again, they were not on my list. I called MOW to see what was going on. Apparently they've changed the routes again and these two ladies are now on route 4. So I called the volunteer coordinator and said, "These two ladies are the main reason I've been driving all the way over here since I moved 5 years ago, so if I'm not going to have them, I'd rather do something closer to my house." She called me back later and told me the route 4 guy would trade routes with me. This is good for at least two reasons: 1) I get my ladies back and 2) I won't have the apartments anymore. The reason I don't like apartments is I have to turn my truck off and lock it, and I think I mentioned how hot it is. When I deliver to a house, I leave my truck (meaning A/C) running. Also I think this will save me a couple of miles. I'm guessing I'll be back with the doorbell-dont-work-please-knock. lady with the cute little dogs as well as the trailer park people. That one trailer lady that always says "God Bless You" can't hurt. I'll take all the blessings I can get. Also, this morning, the son of one of the aforementioned original ladies called me to see what happened to me. I told him the whole story and he seemed to be glad that I will be back tomorrow. On another note, I'm afraid that if anyone from my old route asks where I am, the man might tell them "She asked to trade routes with me." I hope he doesn't say that.

It's funny how you're supposed to be able to find anything on the internet, but on Memorial day I heard the first Cicada and really couldn't find out much about them. I waded through pages and pages of stuff, but there wasn't a lot of information. I like to stick their discarded body shells on my nose. My Mom once said, "To some people these might be like potato chips." That still makes me laugh.

We saw The Da Vinci Code at The Movie Tavern last night. It was pretty good. I'm still mad about the casting though. The whole time I was reading the book, I was picturing Ian Holm as Teabing. He would have been perfect. It's ironic (or maybe just odd) that they cast his castmate from The Lord of the Rings movies. Jean Reno, however, was a great choice as Captain Fache. And although I adore Tom Hanks, he didn't quite seem as manly as I imagined Robert Langdon would be. Yeah, yeah, you're saying the book was better. Well duh! All books are better than the movie version. If you know of an exception please let me know. One thing I can tell you, and actually I may have mentioned this before, is DO NOT read a book right before you watch the movie. I did that with Jurassic Park and spent the entire 127 minutes thinking things like "Well where's this character?" and "He didn't do that!" At Least with The Da Vinci Code, I think a good year or more had passed so I wasn't so nit picky.

My cooking has been a little off. I haven't been very fond of my last couple of meals. I don't know what that's all about. Hopefully Thursday I'll be back as the great home chef (I don't cook on Wednesdays). I guess to get my groove back on I should cook something simple that never misses like my angle hair pasta with Italian sausage. My husband is so sweet, he always claims to love everything I make. Either he's "just being nice" or I'm just being too critical.

I've been really enjoying following this guy's journey across the U.S. on a souped up Tricycle. It's a great site and if you have time, you should read through the archives.

I feel caught up now. Fwooooo!

Celebrity Fidelity

I never really followed much of the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney gossip. It was pretty obvious to me that McCartney was one of those guys that HAS to have a mate. Everybody knows a guy like that. My brother is a guy like that. When the gossip rags ran stories about Heather and McCartney's kids feuding, I didn't think anything of it. That's been the history of step-moms forever (and for the record, I am not one and I loved my step-mom dearly). But what I did NOT know was that when Paul met her (Heather, not my step-mom) on a TV show or at a charity event or whatever, she was engaged to be married. So he got her number and called her and she called off her wedding. I think that speaks for itself. I'm sure a lot of women would have done the same thing. I'm not sure about now, but he used to be the richest guy in the whole U.K. Kinda the Bill Gates, buckwise, over there, but much better looking and with a sexier job. I've got to wonder why he didn't question that she just up and dumped her fiance. And everyone knows they had no pre-nup because he said it "wasn't romantic." What a sick love puppy. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Speaking of Jerry Seinfeld, he met his wife about 2 weeks after she returned from her European honeymoon. At a health club. I've always wondered how that conversation went.

Jerry: Hi! I'm Jerry Seinfeld

Jesica: Yeah, I know.

Jerry: So are you married or what?

Jessica: Uhm, it's nothing really, what's up?

They've lasted 7 years and have 3 kids. I bet money Jerry has a pre-nup. I just wonder about these women, though. There is not one single celebrity in the world, including the guys on my list that would entice me away from my husband. What was Paul McCartney thinking?