Monday, September 25, 2006

Bops and Harley

Spoonerism: Function: noun
Etymology: William A. Spooner, died 1930, English clergyman & educator: a transposition of usually initial sounds of two or more words (as in tons of soil for sons of toil)

I do this so often that when I try to tell someone something that I said backwards, I will actually say it THE CORRECT WAY. I think I'm going to start writing them down. The latest one that I remember was when my rowdy new kitten was about to attack my feeble old cat and I yelled, "Don't you futchin' tuck him!" That one was a little more complicated than just switching the first sounds of the words - I actually switched the second sounds. Or middle? The only reason I bring this up, is because I always thought it was a mental glitch between my thought and my speech. Not so. The other day I had a spoonerism THOUGHT. I seriously did not know that was possible. I've always assumed it was a speech problem. Well, what happened was, I had had quite a few beers and when I peed it was, uhm, well rather rich smelling and I thought to myself, "Wow, smells like bops and harley." My first reaction was to laugh hysterically. My second thought was "Wow! I had a spoonerism in my THOUGHTS!" and my third reaction was "Damn! Who can I tell?" Because I generally do not discuss bodily functions with anyone except my daughter. Then I remembered I do talk about "Asparapee," which is what I call the weird smelling pee you have after eating asparagus. I also discuss peeing with airline employees as in "I really need an aisle seat because I WILL HAVE TO PEE." A LOT. On a three hour flight I will pee TWICE. I wish I had a video of myself, when stuck at a window seat, madly barreling past (over? through?) two sleeping seatmates. I will not be denied. Okay, that's probably the last time I will ever mention peeing on this blog. My next backwards thought came a few days later. I had sprayed X-14 in my shower. You're supposed to let it stand, but not too long as it can cause your caulk to break down. I was running around trying to finish up chores when I had that nagging thought in my head: What is it I'm supposed to be doing? Then I thought, "Oh yeah, I have to go rinse the X-Files."

4 comments:

Gary said...

:)

Don't worry. I don't think you have a problem. At least not until you start dreaming spoonerisms. That would be too mucking futch. :)

By the way, what's up with that asparagus smell? I've noticed it too. It almost makes me not want to eat asparagus.

J. said...

Eh, I do that a lot. When I worked in a law firm early in my career, I was mailing a letter to a client and typed the address on the envelope as "1 Million Mile Forest" when it was supposed to be "1 Hundred Acre Woods".

geewits said...

Lol!

Julie said...

Be gentle. Mulders may shrink with too much rinsing.

And I am with you on the peeing: I drink so much water that I'm in the bathroom often. I think I went about six times last night in the course of six hours. Every time I turned around, it was like "Goddammit! I just went!!" :)