Normal Again?

I just want to thank everyone who comments here. My week was awful until today and the fun comments on my last post did make me feel a little better every day. If this is a taste of what menopause is going to be like, I am SO NOT looking forward to THAT.

Monday I had awful free-floating anxiety and as much as I tried to rationalize everything, I just couldn't shake it, which made me feel depressed. Tuesday morning I had a long awful dream involving losing my daughter (who was about 10 or 11 in the dream, although she's actually 22) in Greece. An old friend tried to help me find her and we looked and looked and I never did find her. It was a VERY LONG and tiring dream. I wasn't blue on Tuesday, but still had the anxiety and tenseness all day which lead to feeling tired and worn out. On Wednesday, I felt tired and aggitated. My Meals on Wheels delivery did NOT go smoothly. We had flowers to give out for Easter and they kept falling over and spilling water in their box and it seemed like the glass vases were going to break every time I hit a bump. On top of that, I had a new person, read my mapsco wrong and had to keep pulling over to look at the map. I made it through that by making myself laugh with this thought, "This day sucks. I embrace the suckiness of this day." Once I came up with that mantra, I felt better. I went straight home after lunch and took a two hour nap. My daughter came over with dinner and we watched Beaches. (My Sweetie had a vendor engagement, poor thing - he had to go spend several hours in a platinum club box at a Dallas Mavericks game.) My daughter is a HUGE Bette Midler fan, but had never seen Beaches. She got mad at me at the end when it made her cry - but in a funny way.

This morning I dreamed I was doing some sort of commando raid (I think I had a machine gun) with some people in a nice big house and we all got killed. Then we were revived as zombies, so we had to get wigs because dead people don't have hair. I got to pick out my hair. I just pinned it right to my head. Then we decided to stay in that house and run it as a Bed and Breakfast and I was going to be the bartender. I went to the kitchen and was mad because there were dirty dishes in the sink. But wait, the absurdity doesn't end there. So me and the other zombies are all out in the back yard and all these random pieces of tan paper start raining down from the sky. One of the other zombies says, "I think they are giving us a ticker-tape parade!" And I said, "Or maybe the rest of the world has been blown to bits and this is the fallout." Then I woke up. And oddly enough, I felt normal again.

Separated at Birth

I saw Quentin Tarantino on Leno tonight and I kept thinking, "Oh, my! He looks like that puppet." Josie has done several "Separated at Birth" blogs so I have to give her credit for making me think of it. Oddly enough, I checked her blog before I posted and she had just posted another one! In case you're not familiar with the image on the left, the puppet's name was "Madam" and she was part of the team of "Wayland Flowers and Madam." They even had a TV show in the 80's. I was never a fan and don't particularly like puppets as entertainment. Well, maybe the scene in The Sound of Music: That's pretty cute. Anyway that was the closest picture of Quentin I could find, but he has lost weight in his face and really looks like that puppet.

Latest Goings On

On the bathroom saga: I finally got to roll the first coat of primer on Thursday. I RAN OUT OF PAINT. I was not expecting that. I guess there is a lot more wall in there than I thought. My Sweetie brought me a new can of primer today. I have one small wall section and all of the edging or cutting (whatever you call it) left to paint. I had some buckling and peeling, which I expected. My contractor from the shower job had told me that he was surprised that the walls had not been primed. Saturday will be 1: fixing all the bad spots and 2: finishing the edges with the primer. I was really not expecting to need two gallons of paint. Now I know to get two gallons when I lay down my first coat of green. It was great to finally see the walls all one color. That weird 135 degree corner I had to totally redo came out fine as did the "horrible wall section from hell" that had given me so much trouble when I was stripping the wallpaper. My daughter came by tonight and was impressed with my work. I'm looking forward to the next step. Well, except for the ladder part. I get vertigo on ladders. Maybe I can stand on a chair.
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Strange Birthdays: Thursday was my 2nd husband's 50th birthday and it freaked me out all day. I just can't believe he is 50. My first husband turned 50 last October and that didn't phase me at all. I don't know why I was so weirded out. I did call my daughter and Mom to remind them to send 2nd Husband an e-mail for his birthday. He was a really sweet guy. My Sweetie will be 40 on April 5th and that seems odd too. I guess the round numbers just stand out more.
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March Badness: I really sucked in the March Madness brackets this year. As of right now I am only one person away from being on the bottom of about 50 people (that guy must feel worse than I do!). I DO still have my Final Four teams eligible, but that could change this weekend.
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Drink to my health!: About an hour ago I noticed there was a voice message on my cell phone. What is this? No one leaves messages on my cell phone. It was from my gynecologist's office. I had a PAP smear on the 14th and I asked "So what happens if I'm still shedding endometrial cells?" and he described something so horrible, my brain just went "FRIP, FRIP, FRIP." It involved an IV, general anesthesia, a D&C and whatnot. I don't even remember what the procedure was called. BUT. The message on my cell phone said my PAP smear was normal. That was awesome!

In Memory of "Squiggy"

I found out today that one of my Meals on Wheels people died last week. I didn't know these guys very well even though they were on my route for almost 3 years. I've never really mentioned them before, just mentioned the horrible construction that seemed to take an eternity in their trailer park. I think that was back in 2005. Their trailer was paint-balled last year in yellows and greens and I remember feeling profoundly sad that some punks probably did that because they knew a gay couple lived there. I can't say the man's name because of MOW confidentiality, but he always reminded me of Squiggy from "Laverne and Shirley." I used to refer to his partner and him as Lenny and Squiggy (not to them of course) even though the Lenny one didn't really look like Lenny.
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On a few occasions when "Squiggy" answered the door, when he wasn't heavily medicated, he was quite talkative. He told me that he had spent several years in a wheelchair and had been told at one point that he might never walk again. They did have a ramp to their door. Squiggy was always on his feet when I saw him, except one time he answered the door from the floor. I was alarmed but he assured me he had just fallen upon answering the door and it was quite common for him. He once told me that he needed more back surgery but just didn't want to go through that again.
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I asked his partner today what he had died from. He told me that his teeth had gone bad and turned septic and that it had entered his bloodstream. He said he refused to go to the hospital. He put on his best favorite outfit and laid on the bed and died.
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I knew something was wrong when I knocked on the door and heard, "Come in!" I had never entered their home before. It was a giant mess as if it had been ransacked. "Lenny" told me he was going through "Squiggy's" things. He told me Squiggy was 52 and that they had been partners for 31 years. He was so sad. He said, "If he had gone to the hospital they could have given him an antibiotic IV." I told him that I knew someone who had died of the same thing IN the hospital. Very little solace, I'm sure. But Lenny did admit that poor ole Squiggy was just worn out.
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Rest in Peace, Squiggy.

These Vagabond Shoes

Live from New York!: My Sweetie came home from work on Friday and announced that we would be spending a weekend in NYC in June. I was completely taken aback. For years I wondered if I would ever see New York again. I went two years in a row to see Duke play at Madison Square when I was a teenager. I haven't been since. At first I was excited, then I felt very nervous and self-conscious. All I could think was, "I'm too fat to go to New York and I don't know what to wear." Plus, after reading Overheard in New York, I thought, "I'm going to be one of those bumpkin tourists that New Yorkers make fun of!" I am the most casual of dressers and have been wearing the same old summer shoes for about 4 years. I will definitely need new stuff. After giving it more thought, I figure that there will be MOSTLY tourists in New York on a weekend in June. Maybe I can just blend in. I hope they will all be fat. And have thicker southern accents. And bad shoes.

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Light at the end of the tunnel: Tomorrow after a little more prep work, I will be putting a coat of primer on my bathroom walls. I can't wait! I still can't believe I started this renovation last June. That's CRAZY! I may need to do some more wall work, but at this point I decided that having the walls all one color would help me to see what else I may need to do. I did put away the power sander today and my shoulders were so thankful. That thing really "put some hurtin' " on my shoulders and upper arms. My mudwork seriously improved over time and I think my corner work came out pretty well. I had one regular corner and an odd corner - 135 degrees - which needed a lot of work. (By the way, I just had to draw a picture and access the tiny geometry part of my brain to figure out the angle of that odd corner.) I can't wait to get that coat of primer on. I may even get up early. Yeah, right.

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Weird thought: I was wondering something odd the other day. If a wasp were in your car and you noticed it after driving several miles, stopped, and let it out, would it find its way back home? Or would it wander around aimlessly and die? Or would it just start a new life in its new location? Does anyone know an entomologist?

A Snake Story

My Father-in-law, "Froggy" sent this story to me today so I asked if I could post it on my blog. He's a real Texas "Good Ole Boy" and has millions of stories. Here is his snake story:

I don't know how many of you saw the news about the pipeline fire in Parker County, Texas. It is located on my former in-law's ranch just north east of Lake Weatherford. The ranch was purchased by Bill McDavid in 1961 and named the Bull Goose Ranch. Soon after he purchased it, we discovered what came to be known as the "snake pit." The former owner (s) had dumped their garbage and trash in a gully formed by erosion. I had discovered and dispatched a world record western diamondback rattlesnake at the site and my mother-in-law gave orders for the den to be destroyed. The trash attracted rodents, a smorgasbord for the snakes.

At that time, we loaned our cosmetically challenged used cars to undercover DEA agents. They needed cars that blended in with the surroundings on stakeouts. In exchange they gave me some tear gas bullets in .22 and .38 calibers. I fired several of these rounds in to cracks around the pit without any results. One of the agents gave me a half dozen tear gas grenades which he said should do the job.

My father-in-law flew up from Houston one day with Alan Shepard, the astronaut, his partner in banking, cattle and some quarter horses. He wanted to know about the snake pit and I told him about the tear gas grenades. He wanted to watch so we loaded up and went to the ranch.

Erosion had created a cave which I suspected housed the serpents. I very carefully climbed the wall leading up to a large crack where I planned to toss the grenades. My father-in-law and Alan were standing, looking over in to the pit to watch. I pulled the pins on the grenades, and tossed both of them in to the crack. The wind was blowing just right to force the gas to the back of the cave. It was also blowing just right to spread the gas where Alan and Bill were standing in business suits. They backed away but not quick enough. They were hacking and sneezing and were still suffering on the way back to town. I noticed that I was also feeling the effects. We decided the gas had impregnated their clothing. A stop at Bowden's department store for a set of khakis for both men and finally some relief.

We didn't see a single snake as a result of the tear gas. I decided more drastic steps were needed and assembled the things I would need. Five gallons of gasoline, about twenty feet of half inch copper tubing, a funnel and matches. With the help of one of my employees who wasn't too keen on snake killing, we poured the gasoline down one of the cracks where the tear gas had exited. I poured a long back trail of fuel, tossed a match and ran. I can only describe the results as a miniature Hiroshima Atom Bomb blast. The fire only burned for a few minutes and we looked over the edge to check for survivors As far as we could tell, there were none. There were pieces of snake and some things we thought might be large rats. To my knowledge, there have never been any more snakes in that area.

Froggy

OUCH

PLUS

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Humming Christian Music Dentist With Needles and Drill

EQUALS

(=)

THIRD LEVEL OF HELL

Pictures!!

I finally got my pictures developed. I had two rolls so there was a LOT of stuff. My Sweetie will not let me post his picture so I can't post the REALLY hot one of him in San Diego which I am going to frame. Or our anniversary picture - we have our picture taken every anniversary to add to our wedding photo album. Or the cute ones of us in San Diego, although I did put one of me from one of those down below. I think I'm going to make it my new "me" picture on my profile.



Here it is! My new shower! See the light? The floor and the back of the niche were done with the little tiles that make the border trim. Or whatever it's called. The new showerhead that came with the handle is very cool looking but I love my old water massage, so I'll just save it in case we ever sell the house.

This is my Very Dorky Christmas Pajamas photo, complete with dorky Christmas socks. I do have two legs. I just always sit on my left leg. I don't know why.

This was taken at a restaurant in San Diego. I love the sidewalk seating in the Gaslamp District!

This is Jake being ultra hip with his shades on. He's 18-years-old now. Old enough to vote! This is what cat people do to their cats. If you are not a cat person, you won't get it.

I love this picture of Jake and My Sweetie resting cheek-to-cheek on the couch.

I think this one speaks for itself. It was fun getting to see the Hotel Del again. It hadn't changed a whole lot, but is apparently about to. There were signs in the "mall" area. It's all changing to offices or apartments or something. I forgot.

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It was great finally getting the pictures back. In this age of instant video/photo gratification, it's still fun to get pictures back that were taken two and three months ago. You gotta love that "oh Yeah! I remember that!" factor.

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Friday my daughter took me across town to get My Sweetie's birthday gift. He will be 40 on April 5th so I wanted something really special and I came up with something I thought was AWESOME. I wish I could share but he reads this sometimes. I can't wait to tell you after his birthday! After our little trek we did some happy hours and I met one of her new friends. She seemed like a really nice girl.

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The bathroom is finally moving forward. We got a lot done today. I'm already doing mud work and wall repairs. I will probably do my primer coat next weekend. This week is going to be all fun and games what with getting my crown replaced on Tuesday and my pap smear on Wednesday. Plus I wonder how long it will take me to get over this lost hour from Daylight Savings. I just lost it a few hours ago and I miss it already. The weekend has been good so far. I hope today will be as productive as yesterday!

One of My Jobs

There's an ad on TV that's currently running where a guy talks about all the different types of bosses he's had and I thought, "Hmmm, that would make a great post." And that made me think of all the jobs I've had. And that made me think of this old newspaper clipping I had of me running camera for a cable show. It was in the Dallas Morning News and I was all proud of myself for being in the paper. At the ripe old age of almost 20 I had already been to Times Square on New Year's Eve, been to a Super Bowl and been interviewed on a local TV station and on a radio station (Yeah I was like Forest Gump like that). I was so tickled about being in the Dallas paper, but when I showed people the clipping they all said the same thing. "What's with your lips?" Here's a close-up:

Maybe it's not that clear in this old clipping, but I was doing this weird lip-pursing thing. And that was the only remark I got. I was more excited about being in the paper than I was about being on TV or the radio because, because I had something to keep. People didn't have VCR's when I was on TV, so if you didn't see it, you didn't see it. I didn't see it.

What happened was, I was majoring in Media Productions at Tarrant County College and I was hand-picked by my teacher to intern at Storer Cable. It was fun, I earned credit towards school, and they kinda promised me a job. It's funny when I look back at it, but after the semester was over I kept phoning my contact at the cable company saying, "So where's my job?" I think they hired me because they were tired of my phone calls.

It was a fun job for the most part. It was a combination of running local programming (basically putting giant videos into a machine and logging the times for the FCC) and doing local video productions. I hated covering city council meetings, but I loved taping the chamber of commerce luncheons because they were at fancy country clubs and we got to eat there for free. I guess the highlight was taping the Texas high school football playoff (or championship?) at Texas Stadium. Not that I'm a Cowboy's or even a football fan - it's that as I stood in the camera niche in the stadium I kept thinking of all the professional cameramen who had stood in the exact same spot. Plus we had access to the whole press area. I was walking around thinking of all the famous people who had been in the same spots. Howard Cosell and all kinds of people. And it even snowed a little that day (just flurries), so it was all happy crazy. I also met the first guy I lived with on that job. At the ripe old age of 21 I finally moved out of my parents' home. We weren't madly in love, we were just tired of living "at home" and so far from work. It was a "live-together of convenience." I always wonder what happened to that guy. He was really sweet.

Bad Tooth News: I will see the endodontist today to either clear me for a filling replacement and a crown or a root canal. I vote for the first option. Wholeheartedly. And that's all I have to say about that.

Tidbits

My Father-in-law wanted me to make this pic for him. I have no idea why. I should have done something with the skin tones, but I'm lazy. What do you think? I made it from this:

and this:

Some TV Commentary: We, okay, I sucked at this week's American Idol castoff picks. My Sweetie had Ajay and Leslie, so he got one each. His other picks were Haley and Sanjay. I had Sanjay, Phil, Gina and Sabrina. My Sweetie: 50% Me: zilch

I've been reading a lot about how "Lost" fans are so furious this season. I guess I'm not a rabid enough fan to be all mad about it. We just watched this week's episode tonight and I really liked it.

The bathroom saga: I did some preliminary mud/wall stuff today. So far so good. I also took my second nighttime shower so I got to enjoy the light in the new shower again. I loved it! Tomorrow I will peel more tiny wallpaper bits and ponder getting the filling replaced in my bottom right first molar. Wow I actually realized there is something worse than peeling those last stubborn wallpaper remnants!