Is That a New Earring or Were You Tagged?

I got tagged by Ian for the "6 weird things about me." I pretty much thought this whole blog was weird things about me. I'll try to come up with 6 weird things:

1. I automatically don't like guys that look very northern European: meaning very pale skin, very light colored eyes and blonde hair. I have no reason for this. I probably should not go to Minnesota.
2. I've only been friends with one female in my whole life who dyes her hair blonde. I only accepted it because she had turned fully gray in her 20's. I just can't be friends with bleached blondes. I don't get it.
3. I have more fun (and am more comfortable) with strangers than I do with people I know.
4. I wash my hands probably twice as much when making a batch of deviled eggs for non-relatives.
5. I think people who have different political beliefs than I do are "just stupid."
6. I've broken the same bone twice - with TWO DIFFERENT bones. (Maybe I'm "just stupid")

These are the rules according to Ian:

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about him/herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly for the next tagged people. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged, and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment on their blog that says, "You are tagged," and "tell them to read your blog."

Well, since three of the people I would have tagged (le nightowl, tai and djn) were also tagged by Ian and I think Josie and Jeanette just did this recently, I'll just tag Gary, Lone Grey Squirrel and Jr's Thumbprints.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I kinda glossed over the Wednesday night of January 3rd in my January 5th post, but something funny/annoying happened. What happened was, my daughter, who knew better, accidentally left the guest bathroom door opened. Rufus, our crazy cat, took that opportunity to roll an entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet. I DID mention that we had spent most of the evening at a bar so we were a little slow. When I discovered the toilet paper mess, I yelled for Kate and told her, "Look what you did!" We both stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. Finally I said, "Okay, we can't flush that much toilet paper. I'll get you some latex gloves. You can pull it out and put it into some double-bagged Target bags and I'll take it outside." So that's what we did.

I have a friend I'll call "Z." We do not spend a lot of time together as she has a young active family and works full time. And she doesn't drink - which is my full-time hobby. She lives on the other side of the metroplex, but we do spend a lot of time on the phone because of her insomnia (and I'm always up at night). Z called Monday night to tell me she had a conference on Tuesday on this side of town and would have a 1 and 1/2 hour break for lunch. She asked if I would be up (as in awake) for her to come over and hang out. I told her to call me when she was free and ready to come over. I got up and we were having a good ole visit when I noticed the bathroom door was open. I ran in and caught Rufus red-handed (black-pawed?) perched on the toilet and rolling the toilet paper into the toilet. I said, "Oh, Z, you left the bathroom door open!"

Z came into the bathroom and saw the reason for my distress. She immediately said, "Well give me some gloves and a grocery sack and I'll fish that out." I was VERY impressed and told her that's exactly what we did when my daughter left the door open. (I should have told her that she came up with the idea much faster than I did. But she doesn't drink so it makes sense.) Anyway, she took care of it, we laughed about it and a little bit later it was time for her to leave. About 20 minutes later she called and asked if her wedding ring had been left on my bathroom counter. I looked, told her, "Yes," and she said she would be by some time this week to retrieve her ring.

Today (Saturday) Z called. She said, "I'm on my way over. Don't be surprised if (my husband) calls. He doesn't believe my story." I was all ??????? Apparently, he didn't buy the cat/toilet paper story and thought . . . Hell, who knows what he thought (or thinks) but he thought she was lying. I'm still flabbergasted, shocked, surprised, flummoxed and just generally confused about the whole thing. He thought she was lying? WTF! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!

Knee Update and Squirrel Story

My knee is healing slowly. Very slowly. I called Meals on Wheels on Monday to tell them I would need a sub for Wednesday. I realized that I had not been out since Wednesday the 10th and was getting cabin fever. Yes, me, the anxiety disorder/borderline agoraphobic actually wanted to go out. So Tuesday night we met my daughter at Razzoo's. I did not want to leave once I got there. I stretched it out as long as possible, but we finally left after my third beer. The hardest part was trying to get my right leg in the car. It would have been a lot easier if we had been in England and the passenger side was over there (on that side of the car, not in England.) I finally was able to kind of almost stand up in the car and swing my leg in. It was actually funny.

The part I dislike the most is I can't quite lift my leg as high as I would like in the shower to wash my right foot. (Oh a funny little thing happened in the shower today. Duke was playing at 6:00 and I got in the shower around 5:30. The first time I looked at the clock it was 20 'til, so I was taking my time. The next time I checked the clock, it was 20 'til. So I looked at the clock a little closer and it was 20 'til 2:00 and the second hand was not moving. I just thought it was goofy that I hadn't even noticed the little hand.) Anyway, it's frustrating that I can't really reach my right foot very well. I was telling My Sweetie how I feel like I'm walking around with one dirty foot. He said, "Maybe we should get you a shower monkey." Then I was picturing a little monkey washing my foot in the shower. And maybe washing my hair and scrubbing my back. Which is a pretty funny picture but in reality I am afraid of monkeys. Which leads me to. . .

Why I'm afraid of squirrels: It was the spring of 1981. I was still recuperating from my car accident. I was seeing a physical therapist for my arm but my broken leg and pelvis had pretty much healed. It was a very nice day and I decided to get some sun. I took a blanket out to the little greenbelt between my Dad's apartment and the woods. I had been out for a while when I started hearing a lot of noise off to my right. I looked over just as a cute little baby squirrel came bounding out of the woods. It was quite a way down on the greenbelt. In that sing-song voice that one is wont to do with animals, I called, "Hey little squirrel, hey little squirrel!" Well that little squirrel stopped and turned torwards me then started bounding toward me at full speed! It was so unexpected, it freaked me out and I jumped up and ran into the apartment, pulling the sliding screen door shut behind me. The little fence around the back patio was about 5 inches off the ground. That squirrel popped under the fence and climbed right up the screen door to my eye level! He just clung there chittering away. Say what you want about being afraid of squirrels but I KNEW this was NOT normal squirrel behavior. He stayed up there for some time. I was yelling, "Get down! Go away!" Finally I just closed the glass door and the curtain. I waited about 2 hours to retrieve my blanket and suntan lotion. And I never sunned out there again.


Meals on Wheels called me this afternoon and wants me to train another person. I felt like such a big girl!

Stupid Phrases and Size Does Matter

I can't think of the name of the online dating service - it's not match.com - but I remember when their commercials first aired. They claimed they had some comprehensive questionnaire with like a billion questions to help people find their perfect mate. I remember one of the "questions" floating by. It wasn't a question but a statement that I suppose the respondent would rate on a scale. The statement was "I find humor in everything." If the scale was 1 (least) and 10 (most), who on earth would click the 10? What a stupid "question!" I sincerely hopes no one finds humor in war, famine and disease. It should have been: "I try to find the humor in most situations" or something like that.

Another one that bothers me is "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Well that's not true. Let's say I'm in a room with a bunch of astrophysicists and they are trying to figure out how to land a craft on Enceladus (an active moon of Saturn). I obviously would not be part of the solution, but in no way shape or form could I be considered part of the problem.

Very close to that one is "Either you're with us or you're against us." Not true. Maybe I just don't care. An example here would be: There is a town that is 1000 miles away. An alligator is found in a pond. Half the town wants it killed, the other half wants it to live. I wouldn't be with or against either faction. I really wouldn't care.

Size Matters: I have a severe freakatude about spiders. If I see a large spider I will actually speak in tongues and do odd dances (convulsions). I saw a spider tonight and I actually felt my brain do some sort of calculation and decide that THAT spider was too small to freak out about. I have absolutely no idea what the criteria is for spider size. I guess some strange part of my brain decides on its own. If a spider is REALLY tiny, I will actually mash it with my finger, but I can't even be in the same room with a large spider. I wonder how that works?

Smells Like . . .

Except on Meals on Wheels Wednesdays, I usually start my day around noon and stay up until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. I also drink a lot of beer all day. I don't ALWAYS remember things I do at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. I got an e-mail the other day from a large big city newspaper asking my permission to publish my letter in their letters column. I had to go to my sent folder to figure out what the hell they were talking about. I can't say anything about it because I think they are going to use my real name.

A couple of weeks ago, again in the middle of the night, I got the great idea to send a suggestion to the S.C. Johnson company. About a week later I got a four page legal packet in the mail that contained

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

(yes it was in 36 pt. red all-caps boldface type) telling me how to legally submit my idea, along with a release form. I laughed and laughed. This line killed me:

Only those ideas with a patent or patent pending

application will be considered.

I don't have a copy of my "original idea" because I just filled in a box on their website, but I'm pretty sure it's not something you can patent. It was this:

Why don't you guys make a spray that smells like cedar?

That would be nice.

I Want My Smooth Back

Before I can finish my San Diego story or tell about my injured knee I have to explain something else. 2007, all 16 days of it, has been kinda sucky. Initially I had a hard time trying to figure out exactly what was going on, then once I figured it out, I had a hard time trying to convert it from an abstract concept to something I could put into words. I'll try to explain it. The expression I came up with is "I've lost my smooth."

Although I have my fair share of goofy moments (which have been well chronicled here), I'm a pretty capable person. Most of my life I've been several steps ahead of the game, imagining every possible outcome of any action, and planning accordingly. Also, when confronted with the unexpected, I'm quick on my feet. Lately I've been WAY off kilter. And particularly unsmooth.

We woke up in our lovely room, on Sunday, the 7th looking forward to our ferry trip to Coronado Island. My right foot was bothering me, particularly my little toe. Being the self-diagnostic type regarding anything about my body, I decided the problem was that my toenail was too long. Obviously clipping it would solve everything. And being the person that I am, I of course had nail clippers. I clipped that silly nail and decided everything would be fine after that. Shortly after lunch, as we were walking south on 5th avenue, I realized my problem was not solved. Still we continued to walk around stopping only once or twice for me to quaff some beers. We knew the ferry left on the hour and kept slightly missing our window of opportunity to head to the Broadway pier. Finally the timing seemed about right and we caught a cab for the pier. I was so happy knowing I would be sitting for 15 minutes. The day was gorgeous. I loved sitting on the ferry and looking at the water. I even had my little binoculars. For 15 minutes I forgot about my achy little toe.

We disembarked at a cheesy little tourist trap place. I was not impressed with the place although I found a surf shop with decently priced t-shirts and we found a little cafe where we had drinks on the deck and split a steamed artichoke. At the indoor bar, we asked if there were cabs for the grabbing to go to the hotel Del. The bartender said he could call for one and one of the patrons suggested we rent bikes to go there as it was only about a mile. My toe was KILLING me so that was not an option. We should have taken the bartender up on his offer, but we headed out and walked out to the public streets. Nothing. We did finally notice a shuttle stand. A shuttle to the Hotel Del even. So we sat there for 20 minutes to wait. Once we were finally on the shuttle, as I pondered my screaming toe ache, I realized I could have bought some flip-flops at the touristy place. The NORMAL me would have thought of that AT THE TIME, but not the new unsmooth me. So then I not only had a sore toe but was frustrated with myself. I continued down my path of unsmoothness. We walked through the shops at the Hotel Del. No flip-flops, just $145 moccasins and tennis shoes. No thanks. THEN I walked right past a bathroom - and yes I noticed it at the time. Since when do I not stop at a bathroom? I drink beer all day for crying out loud! Unsmooth. We ended up at the cabana bar out by the beach. Everything was gorgeous, the bartender was very nice, but I had to pee. And there was no way I was going to walk all the way back to that bathroom. I took my shoe off and the bartender gave me some ice. I iced my toe and had 2 or 3 beers.

The way to look for the bunnies was in the opposite direction of the bathroom, but I wanted to find the bunnies so we headed off that way. They are no longer there. I found the place where they used to be, but no bunnies. I hate to think of what happened to them. I'm sure they didn't just LEAVE - I mean it's an island, where would they have gone? Let's not think about the bunnies anymore.

We made it back to the main part of the hotel, found the bathroom and My Sweetie said, "Okay, let's just get a cab back to our hotel." Best plan ever! When we got back to our room, I took those shoes off and may never wear them again. Now is a time to mention that since it was such a short trip, I only took the one pair of shoes, but I did have my L.L. Bean moccasin slippers. Yes, my house shoes, or in this case, my smoking shoes. Our hotel was non-smoking except on the roof, so I had brought those to wear up to the roof in the mornings and late at night. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I decided to wear my slippers for the rest of the trip. If you want to feel weird, sit in a fancy restaurant in the Gaslamp District of San Diego in your slippers. Wearing them to the airport the next day was awesome though, and I may fly in them from now on.

At the airport, we pretty much had the bar to ourselves. I made up a game where we did a pictionary type thing of movie titles. It was pretty funny. And the plane! I think there were maybe 15-20 people on the whole MD-80. I haven't been on an empty plane in years! That part was NICE. I forgot to mention that I was full-blown sick at this point so I pretty much slept the whole way home. I didn't even have a beer, just orange juice - and if you knew me you would know that meant I was really sick.

On Tuesday, I was so sick I forgot to call Meals on Wheels and tell them, so I had to buck up and go out on Wednesday. Friday night brought the beginning of our arctic blast. It was basically a stay-in-the-house weekend. On Sunday night, My Sweetie bundled up to "go out and check conditions." He said, "There's no ice on the road." I heard, "There's no ice on the ground." Our power had been going out for about 5 minutes at a time. When it came back on the air blower for our spa would come on. We don't use it and it's very shrill so he had turned it off. Well, after he went to bed, the power went out again for about 9 minutes. It came back and shrill air blower was screeching away. I decided to go out and push that little button by the spa. "No ice on the road" does NOT mean "No ice on the deck." I know that NOW. My left foot went up on the deck, I mean sheet of ice, and every part of my body flew left except my right foot from the knee down. It all happened pretty fast but it was bad. Then I went straight down on my butt and burst into tears from the knee pain. I hobbled back into the house blubbering away, woke up My Sweetie, freaking him out. He cut the power to the spa and helped me settle down with an ice pack and a small ice chest of beers. The next day he bought me an Ace knee brace, and it is doing better - my knee I mean. Slipping on ice - not smooth.

I want my smooth back.

Two Words at a Time

Icy Weekend

Nice Fires

Weird Movies

Power Outages

Icy Deck

Injured Knee

Enough Said

More Later

San Diego Started Out Well. . .

For all of you "airplane cold" conspiracy theorists out there (you know who you are, and if you don't, just read the comments from the last post) I did NOT get my cold from the plane. Both my daughter and my husband were sick the week before I left, but being the psychotic, oh wait, psychic doctors that we are, we decide ourselves whether we have colds or allergies. Of course, both Kate AND My Sweetie diagnosed themselves with allergies. Yeah, I'm gonna say no. I remember as Kate was driving me to the airport on Saturday morning I said, "I have the weirdest sinus ache. It's just on the right side in like a 3 point triangle between my two eye points and the bottom of my nose." I decided to ignore it because I'm good at that type of thing. I got to the airport and breezed right through check-in and security. I found a Friday's near my gate and parked myself. I was more concerned with their TV just above me because Duke would be playing their first conference game at 11:00 and I knew I had time to watch the whole first half. Sure enough, the TV was tuned to ESPN. It was all good at that point.

I ordered a giant beer and started watching the game. I doubt any of my readers watched this game, but take my word for it: if you were a Duke fan you would have HATED this game! At home I cuss a lot when I watch Duke play, but I was sitting in a public place so I had to be aware of my "reactions." And believe me, I was having A LOT of reactions. I kept consoling myself with my usual mantra of "we will fix all of this in the second half," but it was hard to leave at halftime. I was on the starboard side of the plane in an aisle seat next to two broads who seemed to know each other but weren't really friends. They were kind of amusing. Also we had the emergency exit and I knew they could handle the heavy lifting in case of emergency while I would direct people and tell them to shut up, I mean calm down. On the port side next to me (with just the two seats) was a guy with a laptop that he had placed on the window seat table. He watched every single part of one of the Zorro dvd's. I couldn't even hear it and I grew tired of the "behind the scenes" stuff.

I didn't stop in the San Diego airport for a beer because, quite frankly, I did not need another one at this point, plus I was far more interested in getting outside for a smoke. It was fun going down the escalator and seeing the handsome young man holding a card with my name on it. I told him I was going out to smoke and he came with me. I thought that was cute. We went back inside and I pointed out my bag and he grabbed it. He was very nice and pretty much kept up with my incessant chatter. He told me that after he dropped me off he would be going to get My Sweetie from Torrey Pines. I said, "Tell him I'll be sitting right there." I was pointing at the bar diagonal to my hotel.

I got to the hotel almost two hours before check-in and was going to check my bags, but the clerk said the room was ready. That was great! I got to redistribute my stuff so I'd only have my tiny purse, AND brush my teeth. Oh yeah, the room. First of all, he said it was on the 7th floor. I was kinda disappointed. Then I walked into the room and was confused. It was a good sized room, but there was no bed, just two small couches facing each other. I walked to the end of the room and there was A DOOR! We had a separate bedroom! It was awesome. AND it was a corner room so we had windows EVERYWHERE! And there was a giant window seat cushion in the bedroom window. It was really nice. NOW it was time for a beer. I went down to that bar - the Gaslamp Tavern - and people were cheering and yelling at (for?) the football playoffs. I immediately asked some sports savvy looking guys if they knew how the Duke game ended. Yeah, not good. I was sitting next to two sisters from L.A. and we chatted it up until My Sweetie showed up.

We eventually went back to the room, got the camera, jackets and whatnot and headed out for the night. We bar hopped, had a great dinner, bar hopped some more, sang and danced in the street (HE said I did) and then headed back to the room. We were going to watch "Buffy" but we both crashed on our couches. I woke up after midnight my time (yes only 10:00 in California!) brushed my teeth and went to bed. Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up with terrible foot pain, but I was too tired to get up for Advil. That was a portent for the rest of the trip . . .


(And thank you all so very much for the "Get Well" wishes!)

Sick Sucks

I woke up in San Diego Sunday night with a horrible full-blown head cold. I made the mistake of doing my Meals on Wheels today, when I should have been home sleeping. I feel horrible. I will post the fun stuff when I am well.
:(

I'm Off!

I guess most people were getting back to their normal routines this week after the holidays, but not me. I guess I'll start next week. My Sweetie left for California Wednesday morning. After Meals on Wheels, I had lunch at Bennigan's, ran by Marshall's for some cute tops for my trip, hit the grocery store and came home. About 5 minutes later my daughter showed up and Wednesday night was one long party. We had a really good time at a new neighborhood bar. After we got home I showed her some youtube stuff and we started to watch my new "Buffy," but we both crashed. I woke up in my recliner at 6:00 a.m. and had to brush my teeth for about twenty minutes. Kate had Thursday off and stayed all day. We watched Phantom of the Opera around 2:00 and then spent the next two hours singing things like, "I'm going to get another beer now." and "What shall we order for dinner?" I did get a few chores done. Kate left late Thursday night. I spent today packing and organizing for my trip (like cleaning the humidifiers and watering the plants). Around 3:00 today, I was trying to print stuff for the trip and kept getting blank pages. I was getting very frustrated. I kept looking over every option for my printer, kept changing settings, yet kept getting blank pages. Finally I did the nozzle check thing and after the page printed out and I compared it to the screen I noticed 2 things: My nozzles are printing perfectly and I HAD NO BLACK INK. What happened was, when I replaced those cartridges recently, I put in one called "photo" and one called "color." I'm guessing one of them should have said "BLACK." So I ended up printing the scoring rules for gin rummy, Gaslamp District entertainment info, and MY PLANE TICKET in either red or green. It's all very festive. I'm not even sure which cartridge I should change to black, but I guess I'll just deal with that later. I have to leave for the airport in 8 hours, so I guess I should try to get some sleep. I hope I have fun. Fun is a good thing to have!

San Diego, I Hear Ya Calling

This is a picture of a room at the Gaslamp Plaza Suites - from their website - and I would swear it's the exact room we stayed in last year. Seriously, if I had leaned my butt on the minifridge, I could have taken that exact picture. I have a feeling we will be in the same room on Saturday. It's not a giant hotel and has several floor plans, but we've been guaranteed a top floor room facing south and I don't think there are that many up there -and some of them are privately owned. Anyway, I was looking at their floor plans here: http://www.gaslampplaza.com/floorplan.html and I sure hope we don't get a room with the bottom left floor plan because I won't be able to figure out how to get into the bathroom.

Last year we pretty much took it easy because of my healing broken foot. It's all here. This year I want to take the ferry to Coronado Island. The ferry dock (is that correct? ferry dock? It sounds like a character from Lord of The Rings) is only one mile from our hotel. I haven't been to the Hotel Del in over 12 years. I don't even remember what year I went. What I mostly remember was The Hotel Del Coronado had a bunny problem. There were bunnies everywhere. You had to "help" them out of the hotel sometimes. I love bunnies. I hope they are all still there.

So far, the long term weather predictions for San Diego are 66 - 70 degrees/day and 46 - 50 degrees/night. That sounds good to me. I'm looking forward to splashing through the bay on the ferry on a fine sunny 68* day on my way to see some bunnies. That's my plan for this Sunday. I would have added more but I was dizzy from stringing all those prepositional phrases together. And now I'm going to visit my own bathroom, because I know where the door is.

2007!

I've been planning to add a list of the blogs I read to that right-hand column. And I'm going to. I don't know a thing about HTML, but I think I've got it figured out. I'm dreading it because I remember it took me forever to do that "Stuff I Like" column. And that was a LONG time ago. I'm going to do it, though, and soon. Okay, that will be my New Year's resolution.

I hope everyone has a safe, fun and happy New Year!

Update: It looks like I got the blog list started. I'm sure I left out someone that I wish I hadn't. Also, I did not list some of the people that I read, for particular reasons, nor any celebrity bloggers, such as dooce that don't need any more advertisement, but I may add Wil Wheaton somewhere because he's so sweet. Worst run-on sentence EVER!

Christmas Report

I had a great Christmas! The party on the 23rd went pretty well. It was a multi-generational party with a small horde of wild children, but I think things went pretty smoothly. Everyone seemed to have a good time and most of the food was eaten. However, I did forget to put the cinnamon sticks in the mulled cider - and didn't realize it until an hour after everyone left!

~ ~ ~

Christmas eve was a day of rest and recovery. I mostly lounged on the couch and watched a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie I had recorded. I love those things. I even took a nap. That evening we went to our favorite restaurant, then came home and exchanged one gift. I got the most awesome gift ever - an autographed #4 jersey from J. J. Redick! My Sweetie is the best husband EVER! I gave him the 6th season of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Our hotel in San Diego has a DVD player and when we went last year we took Buffy and ended each day by lounging on the couch and watching some "Buffy." I thought it would be fun to be able to do that again. Wow! That's less than two weeks away! I also opened one gift from my best friend Lolo. It was a Duke Christmas stocking. That was cool that my two Christmas eve presents were Duke things.

~ ~ ~

On Christmas day, I cooked sausage and eggs, and made the eggs the way my Dad always did. That was my way of remembering him on Christmas day. I got a Dianne Reeves CD (playing now, ahhhh), the John Legend CD, Pirates 2, some books and my crazy Robopet (pictured above). - That Robopet is freaky. There's a video here. I named him Sparky. The funniest thing about him so far is that Rufus is mesmerized by him and always tries to smell his butt. - Around 5:30, we left for my Mom's house. As usual, Mom served up a killer meal. My daughter made the deviled eggs and they were probably the best I've ever had. I taught her how to make them and my secret is to use several mustards, but hers were better. She said one of the mustards she used was a spicy horseradish mustard. I want some of that mustard!

~ ~ ~

I had been telling people that I wanted photo albums for Christmas. I'm finally going to tackle my photos next year and get them out of all the boxes. Lolo's gift that I opened on Christmas day was a really nice photo album. It holds 504 photos. I figured it would get me started. Then on Christmas night, between my Mom and daughter, I got FIVE MORE! Now if I can only finish that bathroom, I can tackle the photo problem. I also got some other really nice gifts from Mom and Kate.

~ ~ ~

People always complain about the Christmas season getting longer and longer, but it seemed really short to me this year. I loved all my gifts and I hope everyone liked the gifts I got them. Thursday I'm going to take down the tree. It is dry as a bone. I would do it tomorrow but that is Meals on Wheels Wednesday. Well if I get home early enough, I may go ahead and do it. It's hard to believe another year is almost over. Where does the time go?

Merry Christmas 2006

That's a picture taken in 1969. I was 8. I love that picture. We all look so happy. I think that's the year I got my brown faux fur coat. I really loved that thing. The first few weeks I wore it even if it was 60 degrees out.

I almost titled this post "Merry Christmas 2007." I always do that. I jump the gun on stuff. For the next 4 months I will probably tell people I am 46, although I will not be 46 until late April. Then when my birthday comes I will be confused for a few days. "Uhhh, so now I'm 47? Oh wait, no! 46!" I have no idea why, but I do that every year.

I've spent the week madly preparing for my "annual" Christmas party. I put that in quotations because I did not have it last year because of the broken foot. I feel much more relaxed about it this year and so THAT is freaking me out. I'm usually a giant barrel of nerves about now - yeah I know the expression is "bundle of nerves," but bundle just doesn't seem big enough. For some reason I feel pretty mellow about tomorrow's party (Saturday's, legally today's party, but it's not tomorrow to me until I go to sleep and wake up again) - and we'll even have extra people who are visiting from out of town. All I can think is that I have some sort of brain damage. WHY am I not freaking out? I have to admit it's a pleasant conundrum.

We'll have a a buffet with barbecued brisket, ribs, cheesy potatoes, green beans and salad, as well as my garlic artichoke dip and a crudite platter. The only things I will actually have to cook are the potatoes, green beans and dip. And throw the simple salad together. And make the Ranch dressing. PLUS my daughter is coming early to help so it will all be super easy. I set up a kids' table in the library and put all my Rudolph action figures on it. It's really cute!

It's 3:30 a.m. and I should head off to bed. I have a party to throw "tomorrow!"

I hope everyone has a great Christmas!

It's ALWAYS Something!*

*Or how Murphy's Law has been kicking my ass

Christmas Trees: My great idea of waiting to get a Christmas tree was A) stupid, B) stupid and C) yeah, stupid because my thinking was that if we waited, the tree would be fresher. Uhm. . . No. Apparently every tree place gets their trees in November, do not get new shipments, and if you WAIT to get your tree you will have VERY LITTLE to choose from. Friday night we went to the place down the street that we've gone to since we moved here and they had nothing we could use. Saturday night out of desperation we went to Lowe's and bought a much shorter tree than I would have liked, but because God is a kind God (or maybe he and Murphy were battling it out for me), the niceDouglas Fir was VERY CHEAP. We also bought our knobs, pulls and faucets there.

I love these faucets!

Knobs, Pulls and Faucets: I was SO HAPPY to get my new bathroom fixtures. Saturday night after My Sweetie went to bed, I took out the really ugly faucet (there are two in there but one of them was really gross). Murphy being what he is, the old faucet was made in such a manner that the water supply hoses (copper ones) were actually built into the faucet. Okay, so yes, I should have maybe checked that out beforehand. So I had no water supply hoses. I decided not to freak out. I figured I'd send MS out to take care of that the next day and meanwhile I would install the knobs (18) and pulls (3). Finally all was well. Wait! Is that Murphy hiding in the shower? Oh yes. The knobs went just fine. The pulls, not so much. My original holes for the old pulls were 3 inches apart. The new pulls' holes were 2 1/2 inches apart. Today after My Sweetie came back from Home Depot with my regular old 1/2 inch to 3/8 inch water supply hoses and filler putty, all seemed well. I figured I would fill the old drawer pull holes with putty and drill new ones later and just throw those faucets together in a snap. We installed the new faucet and I filled the holes and decided it was bathrrom break time. And by that, I mean we needed a break from working in the bathroom. At this point we decided to trim the tree. That was fun - and creatively hanging ornaments to make giant gaps in the tree (you waited too late to buy) look less noticeable was very entertaining. I had a long relax time after that. We watched the whole 3 hours of the "Survivor" finale and I made spaghetti and meatballs. After My Sweetie went to bed, I decided to replace the other faucet and get all the tools and stuff out of the bathroom. Did someone say Murphy's law? Well, if not, I was gonna. The holes drilled in my bathroom countertop (counter top? I'm not gonna look it up!) for that other faucet were WRONG. The new faucet did not fit in there. It was obvious visually that they had drilled the cold water hole closer to center than the hot hole (geez I hope no one finds this site by googling "hot hole"). So I got the file and filed and filed and filed and filed. After 12 eons and breathing probably deadly dust, I was finally able to fit the faucet in there. Tuesday night I will drill the 6 new holes in the three drawers and install the 3 pulls. Then that room will be finished for now. Tonight all I have left to do is my Christmas cards. About that...

Christmas Cards: Every Wednesday after I finish my Meals on Wheels route, I stop at a convenience store and buy a USA Today, a pack of Camel Lights and maybe some gum. I am a creature of habit (and the acronym for that is COH, not OCD). At lunch, I like to sit at a restaurant bar and read my USA Today. Unfortunately, this last Wednesday there was an article about funky family Christmas pictures. Being a graphic artist and Photoshop expert I thought, "Cool!" Well, Murphy's Law being what it is, our printer was out of ink. I figured I would make a funny picture and then get the ink. EVERYTHING went downhill from there. The computer kept freezing. I was getting VERY frustrated. My Sweetie even went out early Saturday to buy the ink, but he didn't replace it. And therein lies another Murphy's Law problem. My history of replacing ink cartridges is BAD - picture Frankenstein trying to sew a button on a shirt. Late Saturday night, after finally getting Photoshop to work again, I replaced the ink cartridges in the printer. It was all bad from there. Today MS told me he fixed the problem and I printed out the pictures for the Christmas cards, but the blue color is WAY off (for those of you reading that will be getting Christmas cards). Speaking of Meals on Wheels...

My "Training Day." I mentioned in my last post that I was nervous about having a stranger ride along with me for MOW. I couldn't have had a better person. Our route was "adopted" (usually by a church group or scout troop) for Christmas gifts. What was meant to be a large trash bag filled with smaller packed gift bags (marked "male," female," and "either") ended up being a large trash bag full of empty gift bags marked "male," female," and "either" and LOTS of random stuff. The lady I was training pretty much took it on herself to take care of the Christmas gifts. She was AWESOME. She kept apologizing about not looking in the bag earlier to see the mess. I kept telling her how helpful she was. I would have been doing ALL OF THAT by myself. At every stop, she made gift bags while I put the meals together. I gave her suggestions for some of the clients, but she pretty much did it on her own. After I took her back to her car, I went to lunch, did some Christmas shopping, then met my daughter at a restaurant bar. We had a blast. Where was Murphy on Wednesday? I know he doesn't take Wednesdays off.

And then some: Rufus wasn't TOO bad with the Christmas tree, although he attempted to climb it a few times. He has figured out now not to hang around the tree, The pork roast was excellent and my favorite re-run of it was making North Carolina style barbecue for lunch on Thursday. I also forgot to mention that my big annual family Christmas barbecue buffet event is this Saturday. Woof, it's a lot of work for a few hours of fun but I hope everything goes well (at least my bathroom will be great!). It's all about the lists and I've made most of them. Still, Murphy's Law has been kicking my ass lately and it's wearing me down. Hey Murphy! GO AWAY!!

The Day Has Come

I knew this day was coming. When I first started Meals on Wheels - a little over 6 years ago - after the initial office visit, you do a ride-along with another MOW volunteer. Today I got the call. On Wednesday I am to show a new volunteer the ropes. The MOW lady first said something like "She can follow you." I was confused because I actually rode with the person that "taught" me. Then I was thinking, "What if she doesn't smoke?" I've since decided I can go that long without a cigarette and I think we should ride together. I rarely need a sub so she won't be doing my route very often, but I can teach her a lot of the basics about what to do with shortfalls and extras and the protocol when no one answers the door. I just think it's funny that they picked crazy me to do this.

I finally decorated the outside for Christmas. My little scarecrow was still out there! That's awful! I did something new this year so it took me forever to figure it out, but I like it.

I actually gutted up and called my brother's house to figure out what to give my nephew for Christmas. I do not like to talk to my brother or his wife, but I called anyway. Mostly I asked him questions about the wall work I will have to do before I paint the master bathroom. I like that I can always find a safe subject when talking to weird people.

It looks like we will get our tree on Friday, so Saturday will be "trimming the tree" day. We are seriously concerned about Rufus. He has never experienced a Christmas tree and he's kinda crazy. I was actually thinking we should buy a video camera. I mean if he's gonna destroy our tree, we could at least win $10,000 for it from "America's Funniest Videos."

Several people have been doing posts about their idiosyncrasies. I think it's called something like "6 weird things about me." Oddly enough, most of them aren't that odd to me - although some of them WERE REALLY WEIRD. I've been thinking about it and I think my weirdest thing is this: I can not tolerate artificial light during the daytime. During those weird days when the clouds are really thick and it's dark during the day, I will actually walk around in the dark. When I stay at a hotel, I always request south or west facing rooms because I do not want to have to turn on a lamp during the daytime. I've actually decided I didn't like people just because they had their windows closed and their lights on during the day. Except my Meals on Wheels clients. They are old. They are excused from anything that bothers me.

I am SO close to finishing my wallpaper removal. I'm down to just bits and pieces - mostly around electrical outlets and light switches and the windows. I did 2 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday. I didn't think I'd ever see the end of the WALLPAPER FROM HELL. But now I am close. Why on earth did people always wallpaper bathrooms?!? Okay, I was taking a wallpaper day off so I shouldn't even be typing this.

I did a marinade rub for a pork roast tonight and now I'm thinking my hands will smell like garlic until March.

And I wash my hands A LOT.

The Very Recent Past

Last Wednesday I thought someone had left their Meals on Wheels route sheet there in the church, but the guy was using the phone. Then I left MY route sheet. I didn't have anyone new, but not having my route sheet made my brain freeze and I drove by my first stop 3 times. I felt pretty stupid.

On Thursday (our snow day) I made lasagne for the first time in years. I remembered why, work-wise and mess-wise, but it was REALLY GOOD. I froze two more dinners worth and we've already had one. Also, this time I bought one of those foil disposable baking things so I had the exact shape and size I wanted and then just tossed it. I just may make lasagne again next year!

On Saturday, our anniversary, I had a WONDERFUL day. I made a lot of progress stripping wallpaper - I did two hours. (Yes the same wallpaper I started stripping in June. I quit for the summer because it was too hot.) I tried on a pair of jeans I had previously tried on when jeans season started. They were too tight then but on Saturday they slipped right on. That was very satisfying. We had a great dinner at our little Italian place. Just into the main course, the pianist played the song we were married to - ON HER OWN. We just looked at each other kinda shocked. After the song I went over to give her a nice tip and told her it was our anniversary and thanked her. The song is "Christmastime is here." We're both suckers for Vince Guaraldi. On the way home we stopped by a new bar near our house and our very first song, "I only want to be with you" by Hootie and the Blowfish came on. That was REALLY weird. It was a great day.

On Sunday I turned the TV to the music channel that plays traditional Christmas music. My Sweetie was in here on the computer and I needed a nap. I thought that would be great nap music. Not only was it an excellent choice for nap music, but I discovered an artist that I am now a HUGE fan of. Oddly enough she was singing "Christmastime is here." I opened my eyes to read the name of the artist and it was Dianne Reeves. I feel like an absolute idiot for not knowing about her. Now I want all of her CD's. Her voice is like silk or butter or silk butter or something. I ran in here and told MS to google her. We found that site and sat there and sampled song after song. If I ever get that question again about being stranded on a deserted island and you can take only one CD, it will be one of hers. I hope My Sweetie ordered one for me for Christmas.

On Monday afternoon, I was cleaning the kitchen when the doorbell rang. I was in gray sweats, a giant gray Duke T-shirt, hadn't brushed my hair, my teeth, or even looked in a mirror when the doorbell rang. I thought, "Who is this clown?" I figured I would say something quick to get rid of him until he introduced himself and I realized he was the guy from Empire Today THAT I HAD MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH AND TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT. Man was I embarrassed! And my living room was a mess! He was very gracious and said it was quite common for people to forget the Monday appointments. A bit later he asked what I did for a living. I squeaked out "I'm a housewife," as my eyes darted nervously around the room. I finally relaxed and had fun picking out a tile for my bathroom. As part of the deal (to save some money) I told him I would pull out the carpet. Yeah the bathroom was half tile and half carpet, don't ask. So around midnight I was in there getting all those nail strips out and trying not to lose an eye. Also I had to get EVERYTHING out of the room because of the dust from the old tile removal. That was a fun night. Oh another thing happened on Monday. Around 7:30 pm or so I went out to the garage to smoke. Since it's been so chilly and I got tired of leaves sticking to my socks, I've been smoking by the side door in the garage instead of on the patio. The door faces east. I was watching the almost full moon rise and it was that pretty effect of seeing a full(ish) moon rise through oak branches with that wispy haze of clouds on top. Suddenly my brain went into alert mode and I realized a face was looking right at me. There on a tree branch, about 12 or 14 feet away was a young possum looking right at me. He was only about a foot above my eye level. I wish I had grabbed the camera. Instead I grabbed My Sweetie to come and see it. He wasn't our regular possum that we call Bob. Bob is a lot fatter and uglier. I named this one Fred. He was almost cute for a possum. So now every night when I go out there to smoke I look for Fred.

On Tuesday I had to get up at 7:30. I usually get up around noon or later. The flooring guys got here at 8:20. It was 3 guys that I'm guessing were Vietnamese but I was pretending they were from Myanmar because it's a funny word (although My Sweetie said it was a terrible country). I did 3 hours of wallpaper stripping that morning. They were working in the one bathroom and I was working in the other. Around 2:00 I was SO sleepy. The last thing I wanted to do was go to sleep with three strange men in my house, so I couldn't even sit down. I just kept pacing around and going into the garage to smoke. Finally around 3:00 they were completely finished. My new floor is GORGEOUS!! I had them lay the tile on the diagonal and it really makes a difference. Also they finshed it off with bullnose tile around the wall, so now I don't have crack nasty baseboards anymore. Woo and Hoo! Now I need new faucets, knobs and pulls. I can replace faucets myself. I did the one in the bar sink already. Maybe that's what I can get My Sweetie for Christmas: New faucets. And knobs. And pulls. Oh my!!

Meals on Wheels was pretty uneventful today, but I am really starting to fall in love with one of my new ladies. The day before Thanksgiving I had to also give out the "Holiday Meals," because MOW doesn't deliver on Thanksgiving. When I gave it to her she said, "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving? I didn't even know that." Last week when I delivered the "Inclement Weather Meal," I said, "This is in case of bad weather and we can't deliver. It is a shelf stable meal and can be kept in your pantry." She said, "So I need to put it in the deep freeze?" She's very friendly and always smiling. She has a staircase leading up from her entryway and she has a funky hat on the left side of each step. I think that's cute. I stopped by Garden Ridge to pick up a few Christmas things. I bought a very inexpensive tablecloth that I'm going to convert into a tree skirt. When? Great question. Well, tomorrow is another day.

December Already?

I can't believe it's December. I read several Canadian bloggers and they were all talking about their big snowstorms and I thought nothing of it because, well, because they're in CANADA for crying out loud. I imagine it snows there every day except in August. So I was rather surprised when the weather went crazy Wednesday night and the temperature started dropping like a celebrity's popularity rating after a racist tirade. When I woke up Thursday around 12:30 (p.m.) it was sleeting like mad. This continued on and off for most of the day. About an hour after THAT stopped it started snowing. Sometimes the snow was coming down so thick and the wind blowing so hard you'd get a "white-out" for a few seconds. It was fascinating because I think it snows here about once every two years and we get an ice storm about every 5 years. By the way those were totally random guesses because I'm too lazy to look up the facts. Also when we get "weather" in Texas the TV stations go nuts. I mean NUTS. They pre-empted my soap and I was irritated, but then they actually pre-empted "Oprah." Yes they chose to talk about the weather rather than show "Oprah." My Sweetie, who was born in Michigan got some laughs at work. He said, "You know what they call this in Michigan?" . . . "Thursday." Oh, and his work let everyone leave after lunch. In Texas, if it sleets for 15 minutes, everything shuts down. I'm not kidding.

Okay so the big freeze brought back terrible memories. Wednesday night we went out to get our plants. Just like last November. I was very paranoid and very careful and this time I DID NOT break my foot. Just reading last November's and December's posts about having the broken foot all during the holidays has brought it all back. It really sucked. I made the best of it, but I would not want to do it again.

And tomorrow is our 6th wedding anniversary. I can't believe I've been happily married for 6 years. The first marriage lasted 4 years and I guess 1 or 2 of them were "happy." The second marriage lasted 7 years and I'd say there were happy times interspersed through the first 4 years. I don't know if I was able to figure something out or if I was just with the wrong people before. I'm just glad this marriage has been so sweet and rewarding. I wake up happy and go to sleep happy. That's really all you can ask for.

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!!

Sense and Sensibility

I guess everyone has heard the story about the woman being fined by her homeowners' association for having a peace sign wreath. The story is here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061127/ap_on_re_us/anti_peace_sign

I don't go overboard with my outdoor decorations but I have a few pieces and they are all candy canes. So will I be attacked by my neighbors in their valiant effort to combat childhood obesity? What about the ADA? I'm sure they would not approve.

I love how the logic of her neighborhood is basically "If we take away all freedoms, everyone will be happy." People seem to be losing every bit of the common sense they were born with.

Four Short Letters

The following are four short letters I would love to be able to send:

Dear Blogspot People,
It sucks that I switched to your "beta" and now have to sign in EVERY TIME even though I click the "remember me" box. You guys suck! What part of "remember me" do you NOT UNDERSTAND?
geewits

Dear Mr. President,
Please do not give press conferences during my soap or on Wednesday mornings.
geewits

Dear Collection Agency People,
I have told you 5000 times that the girl with my same first initial and last name is not here. I do not know her. I have never even met a person who owns a handbag store. Please stop calling.
geewits

Dear Spam Generator people,
How do you live with yourselves? I have to assume you are Catholic and receive absolution once a week.
geewits

And now for something completely different:

My latest SPOONERISM was so off the wall I'm not even sure if it qualifies. I was coming out of my closet (LOL not in THAT sense!) and I reached over to push the door closed and the edge of the door smacked into my right elbow on the intense spot. I said out loud, "Ow! I phoned my bunny!" I think I laughed about that off and on for 3 hours.

And I remembered an old one. The radio station I listen to late at night is currently running ads for "Warming Hut Ski Shop." The first time I drove by one of their stores (about 14 years ago) I thought it said "Warning! Hot Ski Shop."

Yeah I know, it's surprising I can even tie my own shoes.