For Rita

Rita died in her sleep Friday morning, January 22nd. I really loved Rita. Rita was My Sweetie's Grandmother. I may have mentioned her before. After her husband died in April 2002, she sold their retirement home in Florida because she hated Florida. She had never been alone and so she did not buy another house and never lived alone, although she owned lake property in northern Michigan.
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Rita had never been alone. She and her husband were one of those couples that did everything together. They were thick as thieves, as the saying goes. Xup has talked about her parents being like that and I'm too tired to find the link, but I think everyone knows what I mean. Some couples are like that. They had nine kids. Yes, nine. After Rita's husband died, she summered in Michigan with one daughter and wintered here in Texas with another daughter - my mother-in-law.
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Everyone worried about Rita back in 2002 when her husband died because they had been so attached, but over time, Rita's individual spirit emerged. In a big way. Rita was a riot. She would say whatever she was thinking and most of the time it was funny as hell. And not in a way like you were laughing at her. She had a great sense of humor and used it. She laughed a lot. And maybe some of those times when she was being blunt, she didn't intend to be funny. But she was.
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Several years ago when we were alone in my MIL's living room, I told her, "I really don't know what to call you." She replied, "Call me Rita, I hate being called 'Grandma'." I thought that was funny but my MIL does not like that story. About 4 years ago at my Christmas party she had several glasses of wine and was the highlight of the whole evening. I need to find those pictures. She wore a Christmas bow on her head the whole evening.
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Speaking of that: For some reason I was really into making bows this Christmas and after I wrapped Rita's gift I took a picture.:

I never posted about my bows because it seemed sort of self indulgent at the time, but now I am so glad I took that picture. You may remember that I posted about our trip over to my MIL's house on Christmas eve and we had to turn back because of the ice and snow. Well, when we made it over there just after Christmas, she loved my bow and put it right on her head:

That cross she is holding was my gift to her. Rita has always been a devout Catholic so I thought she would like that. And Rita being who she was said the funniest thing when I gave it to her. She said, "I'll take this to get it blessed by a priest and then it will be special." That still cracks me up.

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I walked into her bedroom today (Friday night) to see if I could feel her presence. I saw that cross on her dresser. Everyone knows I am not religious, but I had a strong feeling that I needed to get that cross blessed for her.

I am going to go to the local Catholic church this weekend to get a priest to bless it (hopefully I won't fry or turn to dust when I enter the building). Then I am going to take it with me to Michigan and place it in her casket. If you knew me you would gasp. I have always skipped the "viewing" parts of funerals. To me it seems ghastly and hideous. But I really loved Rita and I'm going to make an exception. Just for her. I have so many fun memories of Rita and the things she randomly said that only I heard. We had so much fun with her just four weeks ago. When she tried my tsatsiki sauce that I had made to have with my MIL's leg of lamb, she said, "This tastes like cucumbers." That was hilarious because we had already told her that it was a cucumber sauce. Maybe it was her delivery. She had a way of saying things. Really deadpan.

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I always write out all the birthdays when I get a new calendar and add little stickers and I know I will be sad when I flip the calendar to August this year and see: Rita 90 along with a bright red star. I really loved Rita and I will miss every single thing about her. It's so hard to believe she is gone and I will never hear her voice again.

Good night sweet Rita, rest in peace. I love you.

The Album You Wore Out

The musical guests tonight on Letterman were Carole King and James Taylor. Just moments into Carole's singing, my whole body got a surge of brain feel-good juice (dopamine?). Her voice to me just feels right. Yeah, she's not a voice like Julie Andrews, Karen Carpenter or Barbra Streisand, but she has a special happy sound that I love. And maybe part of that is knowing that she writes all those songs. Her Album Tapestry, is the one album I wore out.

I have no idea when I bought the album the first time, but over the years, like albums tend to do, it got old dull and scratchy. So I bought another one. That one actually was doing fine but as you all know, the age of the turntable came to an end. Somehow, I was able to skip over the cassette stage and went straight from my second Tapestry to the CD version. I think it was probably one of my earliest CDs. I still have both of my albums and it's funny to look at them. It's obvious which one is older. Looking over the playlist, I can't help but smile. Every song is good. It's hard to pick a favorite because every song means something different to me, but I particularly love the song Beautiful. The chorus is sort of my mantra. Here's a youtube version if you are not familiar with it:
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Do you have an album that you have worn out?

Tree Day (sans video)

Preface: Apparently Blogger has some sort of VIDJam going on because after 4 attempts and what seems like 22 years, I have come to the conclusion that I will not be posting the accompanying video to this post. I am also unable to see videos on other blogger blogs. Blogger's a real prick this morning. So here's the post minus the video which I may attempt to post at some other time because, well because I want to.
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See that guy up there in my tree?:

We had three trees in the front yard and one of them drooped menacingly over our roof. Here is the before picture:

And that pretty green stuff in the trees? No, those are not leaves. Well I guess technically they are leaves, but they are not leaves of the tree. All of that greenery is mistletoe. And while mistletoe is a big fun part of the Christmas tradition for some reason even though the whole kissing under it comes from Norse mythology, it is not a good thing. Nope, mistletoe will suck the very life out of a tree and that's why it's also sometimes referred to as "the vampire plant."

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I had to get up super early for the tree guys. Carole and I had worked out a deal with the tree people to give them a whole day of work with some stuff at my house and some stuff at her house. And lucky me, I got "first shift." Actually, once I got used to seeing the sun coming from the other end of the street, I really got into how those tree guys do their thing. When I was taking my before pictures, I couldn't for the life of me figure out how they would get that tree (that tree hanging right over the house) down without it crashing right through the roof. They made it look pretty simple. I made a little video that you can check out at the end of this post maybe catch in the future if you want to see how they do it. And here's an after shot from the front:

And here's an after shot from the driveway:

As you can see, they did a great job. They got that one tree down in about an hour, and then it took two guys two hours to trim out all of that mistletoe from the other two trees as well as take out a few branches. They did a really great job and I can't wait to see what the trees look like in May.

Me and Me and.....

Ticknart's brother's friend appeared on a recent episode of "Scrubs" and Ticknart gave me a link to the guy's website. I was fascinated by the picture on the guy's site and couldn't stop thinking about it. When you first see the picture, you think it's a picture of a bunch of guys in someone's backyard. Then you realize they are all the same guy. That is such a cool thing for an actor because it shows the guy in many guises. So if you were a casting agent and looked at that you could quickly see if he would fit whatever type you were casting.
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As a graphic artist, it fascinated me on another level. I'm not a photographer and can't even imagine how he took all those pictures outdoors and didn't have a lot of lighting problems. From an astronomy perspective you'd have to take one picture very day at a specific time, and not the same time because the relationship of the sun and the earth changes every single day. From a graphic artist perspective, I was thinking how much work it would be to do all the color correction if he took the pictures all day long on a single day. Anyway, here is the COOL PIC and you can see it for yourself.
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I decided to try it in a controlled lighting situation and took a bunch of pics of myself right here in this room over by the bar. This is how mine turned out:
It's a little dark, but I did that on purpose because I am old. Old broads look better in the dark. Unlike my usual pics you should be able to click on this one to see it larger. It was a fun experiment and I'd like to try it again and put a little more time into it. You should try it too.

Go Ahead, Make My Day

After only two weeks delivering meals in my new area, I have already staked out my new place for lunch and beerses. This bar/restaurant has everything and a great menu to boot. They have the NTN trivia game which I really like but for some reason today they were re-running the same games from last Friday. I've never seen that happen before. So I decided to do my USA Today crossword puzzle. There was this one clue: Cinnamon-yielding tree, and I felt like I should know it but couldn't think of it to save my life. This young girl came in and sat to my right and I asked her if she might know it. She said, "Just a moment and I'll find out." She picked up her phone and I figured she had one of those phones with internet on it, but she actually called someone. She asked the person on the other end, "Do you know the name of the tree that makes cinnamon? I'm at this bar and this girl is doing a crossword puzzle and I thought you would know." And all I could hear was that she called me "this girl." And it tickled the bejeebers out of me. Call me vain and silly, but it really made my day.
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The girl that made my day is the one on the right holding my crossword puzzle: Usually when you are chatting with someone in a bar and their friend comes in they turn away to focus on their friend, but my bar buddy and her friend were very friendly. We chatted a bit off and on. My bar buddy, who is 30, was very interested in doing Meals on Wheels and I told her that the area near her house (the area I left) always needs people. She took the number for MOW. Her friend was fun too and told us a great story about religion.
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I floated around all day after I left, replaying those words in my head: this girl. She really made my day. Oh, and the word? Cassia

A Capital Idea

After typing in one of those crazy nonsensical words in Blogger's word verification box, I was thinking they should sell that space to companies. They could make money and instead of typing in stuff like:

and:
We could type in stuff like:


Or:

It would be easier for me and blogger could make money.

Everybody wins!

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(Disclaimer: I did not recieve any compensation for using

these logos, but if anyone at these companies

sees this, please send tires (Ford Ranger) or

Canada Dry tonic water to my house)

The Airport Body Scanner

I think a lot of people think I am a die hard left leaning liberal. And I probably am in a lot of ways. So why is it I am always disagreeing with the A.C.L.U.? The local news carried a story tonight about the new airport body scanners and the controversy around them. A representative of the A.C.L.U. spoke out against them. "Invasion of privacy," she said.
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The scan is seen by someone in another room and the images are not stored. I personally would rather see my chubby frumpy body displayed on a giant screen for all the world to see than to be blown up in an airplane. Cause I'm weird like that.

My New Route

Hmmm, where do I start? Well first of all I should start by saying my new route does not have "flow." Merriam-Webster's 2nd definition of "route" is "a line of travel." And there was no line. As usual, there is backtracking and cross overing which is very annoying. Not only that but my 3rd and 4th stops were in THE APARTMENT COMPLEX FROM HELL:

That's a map of the apartment complex. A map that I stopped and got at the apartment complex office after driving around and around and around and...okay you get my point. Their layout is such that certain buildings, and by "certain" I mean THE ONE I AM LOOKING FOR, are surrounded by buildings so that they can not be seen by people who do not have x-ray vision, those people are called "humans." I am one of those people. Here's a close-up of some of those special buildings:

When I walked into the office this lady asks, "Can I help you?" In some of my best restraint ever, I replied, "Yes I am delivering food for Meals on Wheels and need a map of this complex because I can't seem to grasp your numbering system. The building next to 213 is 225." She smiled apologetically and said "Oh yes, I'm sorry about that. The buildings go in circles." Yes they do. They surely do. Circles of hell.

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And speaking of apartment complex hell, the next one is a classic. I couldn't find the road for my next apartment complex on my Mapsco, but it was in a section of town that I am very familiar with. I thought "Heck. There's mostly stores around there so there can't be that many apartment complexes." And let's say that this particular apartment complex was named "Hanover Terrace." So I head over there and sure enough, there is an apartment complex called "Hanover House." The streets are not named "Hanover" so I figure the odds are this has to be the place. I even find an apartment door with the corresponding apartment number on it that is on my route sheet." I knocked and knocked and was greeted with silence. I went back to my car and per protocol, called the client's number. A man answered and I could hear a loud TV in the background. "How strange that I did not hear that TV," I thought. I told the man that I had knocked on the door and he said, "No, I'm sitting right here. Is there a chance you are at Hanover House apartments?" And just as he asked me that, I saw the street name that I had been looking for on my Mapsco. A few houses later I had one of those streets that stops and starts again somewhere else. Now that should just be illegal. At the very least they should have to name those "East Summerhill" and "West Summerhill." And of course I was on the east side one when I should have been on the west side one. Grrr.

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Today, Sunday I mean, I asked My Sweetie to drive me around my route because I wanted to become more familiar with it and change the order around a little bit and I wanted to time it. Well we timed it at 36 minutes. That's of course without stopping and getting the food from the containers and delivering it to the people, but that's what? Maybe 2 to 4 minutes per person? On Friday it took me TWO HOURS. I had 13 people and apologized profusely to the last 7 people for being there so late. This Friday I will be much faster.

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Arctic Weather Wrap-up: Saturday night was the big ending to the giant freeze-out we've been having. It was 13°. Our spa, with the pump running, had thick frozen ice sheets floating on top Sunday morning:

When running water freezes, it is COLD. But it (the arctic front) is pulling out and it will be in the mid 50's for the next few days. YAY! I am going to go outside and sit in that.

Friday Goofy

Now that would be convenient.

W.T. Cold

There's an Arctic Front moving in right now and as they used to say (or maybe they still do) in North Carolina, "It's going to be as cold as a witch's titty." About 90% of the local news tonight was about this cold front. It's supposed to be 23° on Thursday and 27° on Friday and those are the highs. The highs without the wind chill factor. And the lows? In the teens. THE TEENS.
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Some of the news showed people shopping for this weather and said hats, gloves and scarves were selling out. And I was thinking, "There are hats, gloves and scarves? Is there a hats, gloves and scarves store?" Because I never see those. I do not own a winter scarf. I have a pair of gloves that I keep in my truck in case of an emergency but I have never worn them. And if I remember correctly, it took me a long time to find those gloves in a store. I think I bought them 8 or 10 years ago. I suppose I should wear them on Friday.
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And yes, Friday, my first day back delivering food, it will be 27°. I can't imagine the food will stay very hot, even in the container. But at least I do not have to take ice for the milks. I think I'll just put them in the bed of my truck.

So Far, So Good

On New Year's Eve I decorated, made fun hors d'œuvres, and we did the hats, horns, poppers and whatnot, but 2010 started out a little tough for me. Oh and we are pronouncing 2010 as "twenty-ten" (Thanks, VioletSky! Good idea.) The reason it started out bad was because my Photoshop went wanky on me and that's what I use for my photos. And because I was raised "MAC" I wasn't quite sure how to fix it on the old PC over there. What happened was, all I did was open up Photoshop for My Sweetie today and "Bozinga!" (as they say on TBBT). Somehow it works now.
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We had a fun night on NYE and it was really just the beginning of the holiday because My Sweetie took today and Tuesday off to make it a good long weekend. And Saturday night we went to see Up In The Air which really is a very good movie. I realized that the last movie we went to see was The Men Who Stare At Goats. I'm beginning to think we are George Clooney fans. We think he reminds us of Cary Grant and we LOVE Cary Grant.
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Today we went to the revamped Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. It had been closed for some time and under construction and I think they did a really nice job. A lot of it used to look like a 1942 high school. Now it is all modern and nice. I'm a giant astronomy buff and they have a large 10,000 year old meteor as well as a video showing them digging it up. Of course that meteor is really just a baby compared to the 112 million year old dinosaur fossils there. And what's really rich is reading the stories behind the dino finds - because they are all local finds. Texas is a hotbed of dinosaur bones. Here's me checking out a tiny dinosaur from behind:

I'm so happy my Photoshop is working again, but I have saved my very best news for last. Just before we left to go to the museum, Meals On Wheels called and a spot has opened up for me here in my own town. I will have a Friday route, starting this Friday. I've really missed MOW and am so looking forward to having a regular route again and having it right here. So Yay! 2010, I like you so far. Keep up the good work.

Mort The Wonder Dog

I should preface this post by saying that if they lined up every single person in the United States in order of how much they love dogs, and the most avid dog lover were placed at the northernmost tip of Maine and the line wound around down to the southernmost tip of California, I would probably be standing in San Diego.
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That's why Mort really is a wonder dog because I have fallen madly in love with him. Here's a little movie I made:

Did you notice how when his human starts to talk to him he turns around and gives that tail one last look? I think that's priceless.

Mort is leaving Friday morning to head back to Princeton to continue his studies. Oh wait, that's his human that does that. I have no idea why I fell so in love with this dog, but I sure will miss him. Oh, and:

Decade Happenings TVwise

On Tuesday, the national news that I watch ended their broadcast with a quick recap of the big events of the decade. As soon as it was over I said to My Sweetie, "They forgot to mention something." I then told him how the EMMY awards finally began to recognize actors and shows that were not on the three major networks (okay I know that Fox is considered a 4th major network but it's my blog.)

They also didn't mention the fact that Denzel Washington and Halle Berry won best actor and best actress at the Oscars the same year (2002). And yeah my little decade factoids are slanted toward TV and movie entertainment, but c'mon! They ended their segment with three famous youtube hits.

Im Old

I keep the radio on all day in my smoking room. I keep it on the cool hip station because I like to keep up with "what the kids are listening to" and I like to dance around in there while I smoke and it's all fun peppy music. I'm not one that pays attention to all the lyrics but I know all the hooks and choruses. There's this one song called "Birthday Sex."



The thing is when I hear this song, I do not think of birthdays or sex on birthdays. I think of filling out forms when you go to a new doctor because on the top right of every page is this:

Date of Birth: ___/___/___ Sex:______

Craziest Christmas Yet

It's really odd (but wasn't at the time) that Big Brother asked me in the comments two posts down, "You get snow in Texas?" Because what happened was. WE GOT SNOW IN TEXAS. And it WAS BIG. As usual I was sleeping the morning away on Christmas eve when My Sweetie called as he was leaving work around noon and said, "You should get up and look at the snow. It's really coming down and it's not supposed to last very long." So I got up and sure enough it was snowing. It wasn't a big snow. It looked like the typical Texas snow: tiny little flakes fluffing around.
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I got up and started doing all the things I had planned to do to prepare for going to My Sweetie's Mom's house and having Christmas with his family. We gathered all of our stuff together and as we headed out we stopped by Carole's house. All was well and good. And it was still snowing. I took this picture just down the road after we took off because I thought it was neat and snowy:
As we continued to venture west, it became even more snowy, but it was still fun and Christmasy and all good even though the words "White Out" came into my head a few times. This picture does not tell the tale of how the snow was blowing sideways and all over the place:

The roads started to get worse and then we had to come to a complete stop on the highway. At this point traffic was a total crawl. After creeping across a bridge for what seemed like ages, my cell phone rang. My sister-in-law, who was at my MIL's house, called to tell us that they were leaving. She said the roads over there were terrible and icy. That convinced us to cancel the trip and turn around and THAT'S when we realized that we were halfway on what was normally a 35 to 40 minute ride and a WHOLE HOUR had passed. This is a picture of the service road that we turned round on:

If you are reading this and you live somewhere that this is normal and you are rolling your eyes, then I need to explain the weather where I live. Usually, mid April through mid October is either very warm or insanely hot. Mid october through mid April is always a crazy mixed bag of anything. As a matter of fact, it was in the low 70's on December 23rd. So when the snow started on the 24th, Christmas eve, everyone assumed it would snow for a few hours and stop. And by everyone I mean the weather people as well as regular folk. But everyone was wrong. It snowed like crazy for 7 straight hours. It was HISTORICAL. It has never snowed like that here in the history of Christmas or Texas or possibly both of them combined.

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So back to our "trip." After we turned around, it took us another hour to get home. I spent the first 20 minutes thinking, "What the hell? Now I have to make dinner. I was expecting to get fed, dammit." We actually ended up fishtailing into our grocery store parking lot on the way home to pick up some easy food. The brightest spot was knowing I could see Mort again. I'll get to Mort** in a minute.

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When we finally got home, I thought our yard was the most gorgeous it has ever been. I learned the hard way that taking a picture at night while it is snowing is nearly impossible. The snowflakes reflect the flash:

Way later when the snow let up some, Carole got a good picture of us (I'm on the right):

Christmas day was bright and sunny but still very cold for quite a while. I took a few pictures in the backyard:

So, Big Brother, yes, it does snow in Texas. And I can't even begin to say how odd and crazy it was for us to have a white Christmas. But all's well that ends well. And here's a pic of Kate and Me that was taken tonight:

**(And now I just want to see Mort again. Carole's son and his wife are here from Princeton and they brought their dog Mort. I have fallen madly in love with this dog and I am NOT a dog person. I am a cat person. I don't even like dogs. I'm afraid of dogs. But I am trying to figure out a way to steal Mort. I love him. He's awesome.)

Flip Video Test

Merry Christmas!

Here's wishing everyone a great Christmas eve and Christmas day. I hope your holiday is full of fun times, good friends, loving family and wonderful memories. And don't forget to rock around the Christmas tree.

More Christmas Fun

This is currently my very favorite Christmas thing:

Good News, Earthlings!

This lovely blue rock that we cruise around the sun on has reached the point on its path that leads to longer days. Because (like me) Earth is tipsy, we are always changing angles as we wander around. We will now start tipping more toward the sun and gain a few minutes a day for the next six months. I say that's a good plan.

Of course if you are reading this from a site south of the equator, none of this applies to you and your days will start getting shorter. Sorry about that.

My Christmas "Movie"

Okay, so technically it's not a movie, but that's what I was calling it all day. All day. That's how long it took me to make this one minute not really a movie. I guess it's more like a video comic book with self-turning pages. And speaking of that there is no sound, so don't waste your time fiddling with your volume control like My Sweetie did. Anyway, here it is:

What Time Is It, Stupid?

Because I call my friend Lo and Mom quite often and they live in North Carolina, which is an hour later than here, I am always checking the clock to see what time it is there. Except I can't just look at a clock and add the hour instantly. Here's how it goes in my brain: What time is it there? Oh it's 2:30, so it's 3:30 there. Today I was thinking Maybe I should just buy a North Carolina clock and keep it on North Carolina time so I don't have to "do the math" every time. Naturally at that point I had to check the internet to see if such a thing as a North Carolina clock existed.

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I typed in "North Carolina state clock" and I got a bunch of clocks for North Carolina State University as well as University of North Carolina. Which really grossed me out. See, I am a Duke fan and those two schools are arch rivals of my team. So I changed my search to just "North Carolina clock." I still got a few of those school ones, but right there on the images page were two different North Carolina clocks. They weren't very expensive, so I was seriously considering ordering one just for funsies. Then I realized that the clocks do not have numbers. Or dots, or dashes, or anything on them except North Carolina pictures and hands.

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So that was the end of that because I know for sure it's a lot easier to add that 1 than to try to tell time on a clock with no numbers.

Time & Money

(photo from Kalamazoo Gazette)

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I woke up today planning on going to the post office and the grocery store. I bought some groceries on Monday but the cashier did not bag my Italian sausages for whatever reason so I had to go back today to get them (they gave me fresh ones). But this is not about that. It's about the post office.

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From almost the moment I woke up, I kept picturing the post office and what the line might be like and wondering how long it would take and even wondering if there would be a parking spot. I thought about it while I was eating lunch. I thought about it while I was in the shower. I thought about it while I was putting curlers in my hair. When I was almost ready to go out, I was drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette and I was thinking again about that post office line and just like that I said to myself, "Yeah, I'm not going there."

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See, I could picture the post office and picture the line, but I could not for the life of me picture myself in it. And just like that I decided to go to one of those shipping stores. There's a little one in the strip shopping center by my grocery store. I realized it would cost more because they have to pay rent and utilites there, but it just made way more sense to do that than stand in that line. And sure enough, I walked right in and had to wait maybe 3 minutes while the fellow made a few copies for a lady. 65¢ worth of copies for that lady and then it was my turn. My guess is I paid maybe $5 more than I might have paid at the post office, but I walked out of there thinking, no, knowing that it was well worth it.

My Soldier Box and More Christmas Gifts

That's most of the stuff I packed into the 12" x 12" x 5" box that you can send to soldiers. I also ended up throwing in some more stuff and I sent him a letter with a picture of Lo and me as Dorothy and Glinda. I had so much fun packing the box that I didn't think to take pictures, but I took a piece of heavy Christmas paper and cut it to fit the bottom, run up one side and fold over the top so that when he opens it he sees Christmas paper. And since putting the Christmas paper in that way meant it was the inside of the paper on the bottom, I cut an extra square to fit the bottom. I really hope he likes the things I sent. (And I was really proud of myself for getting it out on December 3rd - a whole day before the deadline.)
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Friday night we went to one of our old favorites for dinner. We had not been in a while and it's a great place to go for Christmas because they have a piano player. There's nothing like live Christmas piano music. Also we were finally having our wedding anniversary celebration since we stayed home because of the Duke game that night. We had the waiter take our picture because every anniversary since we were married I have a picture taken to add to our wedding photo album. Even after just 9 years it's fun to flip through and see our changes. I can't even imagine what flipping through 20 years might look like.
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On our way home we stopped at a bar that used to be a different bar. We knew the old one had closed and were happy to see it had reopened. There was a young soldier there and I went over to thank him for his service and told him about my soldier box to see if he thought it was good stuff. He was very nice and it was funny that 15 or 20 minutes later I noticed another middle-aged lady talking to him and I wondered aloud to My Sweetie if all the young soldiers in bars were always being "bothered" by middle-aged ladies. I bet it's a 21st century phenomenom. I could explain it using our age and Vietnam and stuff but don't really feel like being philosophical or too thinky.
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Later that night after My Sweetie went to bed I printed out a big batch of pictures of that picture from a few posts down of My Sweetie, my daughter and myself (I cut off her fiance) to put in Christmas cards. I then wrote out nearly all of my Christmas cards. This was after the wine at the restaurant, the bar beers and then coming home and drinking more beer. I hope they are not too goofy. I really should stop doing that. You've heard of "drunk-dialing?" well, every year I do "drunk Christmas carding." Tonight I finished up my last 6 cards and I imagine, if nothing else, my writing will be much better.
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With the exception of My Sweetie's stuff, I also finished up our Christmas shopping today. We made it very easy this year and mostly got gift cards for people and you may think that's impersonal, but I like to think the personal part is picking which type of gift card to get. There's a big difference between Lowe's, Barnes & Noble and TGIFridays. I did pick out an actual real gift for my friend Carole and for My Sweetie's grandmother. And I'll get real things for My Sweetie. Oh and my brother-in-law the fireman gets a special firefighter T-shirt from some exotic place each year. Those are fun to pick out.
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So anyway, here it is: a whole 10 days before Christmas and I am stress-free and easy peazy. And on top of that, it was sunny today. It's all good.

Reconsidered Christmas Decor

I originally took pictures of my Christamas decorations and then I remembered how much I disliked looking at pictures of other people's Christmas decorations so I decided to take extreme close-ups of my stuff:

I thought this was better. I still haven't decorated outside because I am mad at the weather. I have proclaimed that I will not decorate outside until the sun stays out all day. What's with that anyway? I mean seriously, consistently sunny days are a big selling point to living here. What's with this constant grey crap? I am so tired of it. I NEED SOME SUN PIECES!!

Things You Learn From Marriage

Today was my daughter's fiance's 26th birthday. He thought he was old. heh heh heh. We met for drinks near my house and had a nice evening. Old? I should have said, "Old people do not wear a T-shirt when it is 37°."
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So I was thinking the other day about my marriages. Not a whole lot of people have been married three times. (Except Ian.) I feel guilty about it sometimes because I was the one that left each time and I guess it's the guilt that makes me constantly try to analyze all that stuff. On the one hand, I do have a strong belief in fate and think it was all meant to be. Also I learned things from both guys that are part of who I am. I imagine all they got from it was "how to avoid certain types of women". Except my second husband, who I imagine should have figured out that he wanted to avoid women from the get go.
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My first husband was raised on a ranch in Oklahoma and he was Mr. Fix It. That's how I learned all my home repair stuff. He's an electrical engineer, but his personality was more farm hand/handyman, than laboratory. My second husband is also an electrical engineer but he was more of a deep philosophical thinker. From him I learned about politics, astronomy and the scientific method. He also taught me critical thinking, although we never used that term. I guess it's part of the scientific process.
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That was a joke earlier about what they learned from me. I believe my first husband learned that women are not to be treated like servants and second class citizens because he ended up marrying one tough cookie and they have been together for quite some time. My second husband learned to be himself and not live for the approval of his parents although I am not sure if he has "come out" with that or not.
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As for my current husband, My Sweetie, I am sure we have taught each other various things but mostly we have learned how to make each other laugh and I think that's the best thing of all.

On Olives

Because the weather here has been 10° to 15° below normal and it's the Christmas season, I haven't had much else on my mind except olives. I was thinking the other day that the whole world could be divided into 4 different groups: Those who like only green olives, those who like only black olives, those that like both types and those that like neither. Of course I didn't consider that there might be people who have never tried an olive.
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I took an informal poll of the people in my immediate circle. My husband does not like either. Nor does my future son-in-law or my buddy Lo. My daughter likes only green, as do I. My mother likes both as does my friend Carole. My brother likes only black. I'm not certain but I think Dad liked only green, but who knows? I can't ask him.
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The picture above is of some olives that I chopped up for a salad. I really love green olives on a salad. I also like them on a pizza with Italian sausage and on an Italian sub (that's a sandwich that maybe you call something else like a hero, hoagy, hoagie, grinder or poor boy). Oddly, I don't really eat olives out of the jar. I have, but I probably had only maybe 10 olives "straight up" in my life.
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So I'm curious. Where do you stand on olives?

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Precognizant Restaurant Hostess

I've been having a lot of OUT days lately. It may not register to anyone that reads here how many IN days that I have because I mostly post about the OUT days. I mean, what sort of blog would it be to say, "I stayed home again today." Heck I could post more often if I were going to do just that.
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Monday morning I woke up really early for me. It was 10:15. I was lying in bed and thought, "Since it's so early and I have some errands to run, I think I'll go out for lunch." And I did. Of course my lunch time is 1:30 so I had plenty of time. Normally (ha ha! that word doesn't really fit me!) I can't seem to get out of the house before 3:00 unless there is some hideous ungodly reason there is something I really have to do.
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So I stopped by the QT (a local convenience store) and grabbed a "USA Today" and went for some Mexican food at On The Border. I tried a new menu item that was crazy messy yet delicious and headed out to run my errands. As I got to the door, the hostess yelled at me, "Watch out for the bench!!" I was all, whaa..aaa? She explained, "We just put that bench there and I'm afraid someone will walk into it." It was on my right and I just shrugged and thought, "What the hell? Anyone can see that. Who's going to walk into that bench?"
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Tuesday morning the phone rang and it was Meals On Wheels asking me to sub for a route. Although they called at 8:15 am, and I had gone to bed at 5:00 am, I said okay. Then I turned my alarm on, which is set for 8:44 and went back to sleep. I then pushed the snooze button about 18 billion times until around 9:30.
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I had only picked up food at this location, a library, once before. I had gone in one door and saw another guy go out a door that was closer and so had gone out that door. Well Tuesday morning I tried to go IN that door and it was locked, so with my arms full of the containers for transporting the food, I walked around to the door I had gone in the first time and as I rounded the corner my right knee smacked right into A BENCH. Smacked into it in a bad way. My first instinct was to drop everything, lay down, curl up in a ball, and call for my mommy. But after the stars and swirls and little birdies that were swimming around my head subsided I bucked up and kept walking into the library. Then I remembered the restaurant hostess yelling, "Watch out for the bench!"

For My Sweetie

Happy Anniversary to My Sweetie. Thank you for being such a wonderful husband. Thanks for all the laughs and fun adventures and all the little things you do to make every day a joy. These 9 years have been great and I hope we have many many more.

Halloween Leftovers