
~
I've been very introspective lately and the more I think about it the more I realize what a strange child I was. And I think I was just very lonely. I was always going to people's houses and inviting myself in to just "hang out" from the time I was three. I guess because I was an easy kid and my brother was the troublemaker, I was pretty much left alone. The reason I know I was three when I was wandering around the neighborhood, is because we moved a lot so it is easy to verify dates from where we lived.
~
My brother had a friend that lived up a dirt road hill from us and I was enamored with his mom. I was always walking up there and knocking on the door. As an adult, I can imagine how annoying that must have been for Mrs. C. But she was very nice.
~
Mom worked nights and slept during the day and a large black lady kept house and was supposed to be watching my brother and me. My only memories of her are of us sitting on the front porch and she is sprinkling salt on lettuce. I asked her if I could try it and she looked around and let me have a bite. I thought it was good. I wonder why she was so chubby if she snacked on lettuce?
~
Another memory from that time was coming home from something with my Mom and brother and my brother saying, "You have another name, you know? You have a middle name." For some reason it was like he said, "You have horns growing out of the back of your head and you smell like dog poop." Because I went crazy yelling and screaming, "I DO NOT! I DO NOT!" It took me a while to accept the fact that I had a middle name.
~
I used to go around in the various neighborhoods I lived in and knock on doors with a coffee cup in my hand and ask, "Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" When the lady would ask, "What do you need it for?" I would respond, "Oh, I don't need a cup of sugar, but this is how you meet people on TV."
~
When my Dad became a Little League coach someone got the idea to sell Krispy Kreme donuts to raise money for the team. They didn't have them in our town, so Mom, my brother and I made the drive to Raleigh, N.C. and filled our car with boxes of donuts. I went out on my own with a little wagon full of donuts at the age of 6 and sold more than anyone. I didn't get why everyone was so surprised because I "knew" everyone. I'm guessing those people bought the donuts because they were relieved that that was all I was there for.
~
When I was in school, teachers were always sending me to the teachers' lounge to get coffee and I became depressed knowing I could never be a school teacher because I knew I would never drink coffee. For some reason I thought you had to drink coffee.
~
When I was 3 or 4, I used to think that the music coming out of the radio was all being performed live by all those different bands. It was sort of thrilling to think they were all just down the street because the local radio station wasn't far from our house.
~
When men would visit our house and say how cute I was, I would always ask them if they had a quarter. (And my parents never told me that was wrong.)
~
Every Christmas I would wish for a magic wand. I never got one and thought Santa didn't like me.
~
When I was in daycare, I wet the cot during naptime and didn't have a change of underwear. My first cousin had a spare pair so they put those on me and he was more embarassed than I was. He also broke his arm out on the playground and it was so gross I blocked it out of my memory. I may have fainted.
~
When my parents went to parties where everyone took their kids, I wouldn't go in the back room and play with the other kids. I would curl up in a corner under a table and pretend to be asleep and listen to the "grown-up talk."
~
I learned about hot and cold in relation to skin and pores from reading some weird serial comic in the back of Playboy magazine. I think it was "LIttle Annie Fannie."
~
My brother and I could hear the TV from our bedroom and would discuss the shows from what we heard and that's why I think TV is more of an aural than a visual experience for me.
~
Speaking of that, my brother and I shared a room until we were 8 (me) and 12. For years I was very embarassed about that, but I got over it.
~
So what are your weird childhood memories? Did you think Bozo the clown looked like that 24/7? Did you think fast food was modern and scientific like the Jetsons? Were you ever clueless?